Fisherman Horizon

Life is waiting...

2008-03-22T14:47:00.004+08:00

Inspirational and heartwarming. Life is waiting and I could not agree more. Just reflect back on your life and you will realize how much you have waited for things, for love, for independence, for growing up or things that matter to you most.

I guess I have placed much interest in such movies like this one. Recently, I rented a few DVDs which I have wanted to watch for like years ago but did not have the time (The Lakehouse, No Reservations and Kingdom of Heaven) ... and not forgetting my brother's recommendation, The Simpsons. Each one has their story to tell and they all met my expectations. For your information, I'm not really interested in watching action, thriller or horror movies, so yeah don't even invite me. Free tickets, sorry, I'll pass.

Felt like I want to visit Bali again, the hot sun during the day and the cool night breeze, the sands on the beach, the traditional Balinese delicacies, the picturesque places yet to be discovered... thinking about it just makes me feel so uplifted. Just need to wait for the right time...

Dark, Cold Reality...

2008-03-08T11:05:00.003+08:00

3 months past and it has been the most painful phase in my life thus far. I felt so down and helpless thinking about it already. Things didn't end there, the A level results further dampen my spirits to dust. I can now forget about getting into local universities and start to look elsewhere for opportunities. The saddest thing was not scoring well but it was the feeling that I have failed my parents, dashed their hopes and all. It was a feeling I brought upon myself and trying to get over that uneasy feeling took a lot of emotions out of me. I wept even though I promised myself not to if I did not perform well but I guess I wasn't strong enough...

I need time to heal the scars cardved in my heart.
I need a place to escape from this dark, cold reality.
I need love to accompany me through the rocky roads ahead.
I need melodies to drown my sorrows in.
I need comfort to ease the pain.
I need wisdom to overcome this setback.
All I need is God to take away my burdens and ambitions...

This is a difficult time for me so talking about it is not going to change anything or cheer me up. I have to plan for my next step, on how to move on from here and hopefully, starting afresh. It is perhaps the most likeable route to take and take it I shall.

This post is inspired by "Home" by Angela Aki.

The Girl Who Took My Plate...

2007-12-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

The sun had set as evening drew to a close, welcoming a rather cloudy and breezy night. As usual, he was out alone, searching for a place to dine to ‘tame’ the hunger that has run amok in his stomach. There were 2 options that he could choose. First, a well-lit Italian restaurant that radiated a blissful ambience though its windows, employed well-dressed waiters ready to take orders from paying customers and provided quality service for a fine dining experience that was difficult to resist. Second, just tucked across the narrow lane, opposite the grandeur restaurant was a common food court that was not air-conditioned, lacked the modern kitchen electronics and employed common folks of the heartland. As he was about to enter the restaurant, after being greeted by a friendly door lady, he took a glimpse across the street and something or rather someone caught his attention. It was an unusual sight and he wanted to pursue his curiosity by deciding to dine in a less fanciful place, something that he has not done for quite a while.

He approached a stall and ordered his food, a plain Hokkien prawn noodle, sat down, waited while looking around trying to locate the person who caught his attention earlier. Dressed in finely stripped lines of alternating blue and white linen with a matching white bottom half, she appeared after a while. Her glossy, black hair was well-kept and neatly tied. She was clearing up a table that has been left by customers. Her thin arms reached out to the centre of the table and she grabbed pairs of chopsticks holding them with one hand. She then stacked up all cleared plates after dishing away all the leftover food. Not long after, she returned to her stall, placed the plates and cutlery into a bin and returned to her station where she held a marker, writing down orders by new customers. She carefully noted down their orders to make sure that she did not make any mistake. He saw her from afar and smiled to himself as he realized that she was no taller than a normal primary 3 school student. It was a kid, ever so young and innocent, as her father watched her while tending the stall.

She then was asked to deliver a plate to a nearby customer as instructed by her father. With her two small hands, she carried the plate of prawn noodle, walked carefully but gracefully towards the waiting customer and delivered his meal. After which, she skipped her way back to the stall, eagerly waiting for her next task. He found himself ever more curious and continued to watch her as she went from table to table, from customer to customer. There was once he saw her collecting money from a customer, counting every dollar and returned her the change. She would then carve a faint smile and skipped back to her stall. It appeared to him that the lady had given her a small tip for her service. Instead of accepting them, she returned her money, collecting only how much the food cost. Perhaps, it was a genuine gesture to accept what she actually earned rather than taking the extra dollar that could help filled her pocket.

Next, he saw her being called by a couple sitting behind him; they asked her for additional plate and some soy sauce. She returned to her stall and brought along the necessary items, meeting their demands. The couple then chatted with her for a while. He figured that this couple somehow felt pity for the little girl and just wanted to find out more about her. They probably asked her how old she was, which school she was in and how often she worked here in this tiny food court. She replied with short answers with a few nodding and soon she was back helping her father after excusing herself.

He wondered if the girl has been working here since the school holidays started. After all, with more free time in her hand, she could have decided to help out at the stall unlike during school days where students usually were made to complete their homework in order to prepare them for the following day. He thought, unlike other kids her age, she chose to work to help her father instead of staying at home watching television or playing with Barbie dolls. Perhaps, she saw more value in doing what she could do rather than wasting time at home. In his eyes, few kids could and willing to do what she did. She bore no complaints nor defiance, she carried herself with responsibility to do her tasks well without being forced to, she did them all out of her own free will. Now, it was that moment he realized that his curiosity had paid off.

He then noticed her serving a family of seven. She served the two boys in that family who were younger or somewhat about her age, helping to place a plate of prawn noodle and giving out chopsticks. It was awkward enough to see adults being served by some 7-8 year old kid and now, seeing that same kid serving those of her age and younger only made things more bemusing to look at. From that moment, she won him his respect. No longer did he see her as any helpless little girl, he saw her as an extraordinary human being for her age. Any other kid her age would have refused to work in a non air-conditioned place, sweating it out to work and would rather play at home or complained that it was too tiring or embarrassing for them to work publicly. Compared to some spoilt rich kid whose lives revolves by the dollar, driven by the internet or other entertainment devices, this little girl surely has defined her role, no matter how trivial it might appear; she knew that value of every dollar that she earned by helping her father. She showed neither signs of fatigue nor shame because she knew that what she was doing was to help her father to the best of her ability. Such kid is hard to find or even imagine and to him, seeing her in reality was a blessing, a heartwarming experience. It was not pity or the sight of poverty that melted his hardened heart; it was to understand what she was doing that drove him to feel all warm inside.

Before long, she approached him asking in Mandarin with a soft, courteous manner, “May I take your plate?” He gladly let her took his plate away and smiled at her. He noticed her gentle façade, almost believing that she was an angel in disguise with her demure expression. As she walked back towards her stall, he continued placing his eyes on her until it was time to leave. He walked away and watched her slowly fade from the distance. He did not know if he could see her again the next time he visited that food court but he remained positive that he would. This very cycle that has been ongoing in his daily lives might have left unnoticed had he chosen to dine in that restaurant. He would not have seen this little girl who has taught him that it is never too young to work and learn that every dollar earned is derived from every drop of sweat. But most of all, it was not to see this girl as ‘some’ kid he met the other day, but to see this special little girl as a human being who embraces the ordinary life to the fullest.

This post is based on a true account by the author and dedicated to the girl who took his plate of prawn noodle. This post is inspired by “Angel in Disguise” by Corrinne May.

When We Were Young...

2007-12-07T15:12:00.001+08:00

The past two days had been tiring for me. It was about helping my juniors to run a day camp for approximately 30 children ranging from primary one to six. And boy, it was not easy to handle children who do not listen. They scream, play, run, fight, ever seeking attention and made our jobs harder than it should be. They grabbed my hand, constantly pulling me. They called my name a million times just so that they can have their voices heard, knowing that I would listen to their exaggerated achievement such as building the 'ultimate' paper glider. They asked me questions that are rather personal like, "Do you have girlfriend?", "Why can't you speak Chinese?" or something like, "Who do you like?". Harmless questions but when they bombard you with them again and again, it can be pretty annoying to repeat or explain my answers. Some just babbled words I could not comprehend, others willingly talked about themselves when they have the chance to. But most of the time, they would just mingle with themselves by 'fighting' as in playing but with fists flying around and ended it with laughters instead of tears.

I thought to myself that maybe kids today are fast changing. If I could describe kids in general in today's era, I would brand them as 'gadget-savvy bunch of dwarves, ever quick to terrorize without regard for others or personal safety, frantically demanding for attention, severely lacking in proper graces that it can drive one into madness just by the shrill of their voices'. Well, it applies mostly for the boys but don't ever count girls out because they too have different set of problems, just that they are less evident. Looking back when I was a kid, I believe I was not as rowdy, perhaps there was a lingering aura of fear that a disciplinarian was around and bound to know my mischief should I misbehave and of course, the consequences of overstepping my boundaries. It seemed that the boundaries today are blurred as kids grow up with a lack of parental discipline, constantly showered with tender loving care, candies and spoilt with all their demands met, thanks to parent's unassuming concern to provide the best for their children.

Maybe kids believe that as they live in their world, everything that they do, will not have much implication to others around them. They are only concerned in fulfilling their self-satisfaction, deriving fun from the process such as 'fighting'. Whatever the case, as parents, they should educate or instill some social graces such as respecting their fellow kids without inflicting pain, keeping quiet when someone is speaking and to give some respect to those older than they are. How? First, by practicing some rules or social graces within family and reminding them when those rules are broken. Second, slowly adapting them to the outside world using the same rules wherever appropiate. And lastly, monitor their progress to find out if they still follow those rules when parents are not looking. In time, it will be easier for the kids to relate such situations with the ongoings of the outside world, apply those rules and who knows, encouraging others to follow suit.

So much mention about the terror of kids nowadays that I think it is only fair that indeed, there are a few who are capable of showing some form of respect and gratitude. In my case, after the camp ended, a girl came to me as others made their way out and she said, "Thank you, 'koko' (not sure if that's the correct word to say brother in Chinese) for the biscuit." The fact that she approached me and thanked me, showed that she was grateful and brave enough to express it when others simply took it for granted. I did not expect to be thanked but that one gesture from her made me write this entry. She was the only one out of the 30 children who actually thanked someone for the effort we put in for this day camp. Now, that is reason enough for me to trust that there is still some form of social grace that kids today can display. It gave me the hope that there will be others just like her and helped me realize that what I did for the camp do make her day more pleasant. Just one biscuit as a consolation prize; hard to fanthom that it could make me smile. But it did...

This post is inspired by "Theme from Dying Young" by Kenny G.

I Have Run The Race...

2007-11-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

Surviving 2 years in ACJC was not easy but I'm glad I have run this race and completed the once dreaded A levels. Firstly, I would like to express my utmost gratutide to all the teachers who have taught me these 2 years. They really worked hard to equip me with all the relevant skills and knowledge towards the final examinations. Some offered their listening ear when I encountered obstacles while others taught me with leadership values and a few, just wanted to know me better as a student in the college. It was indeed a pleasure to know that these few people do care about a student's well being, be it academically, emotionally or psychologically. For all that you have done to nurture me into a better student and person, I thank you, teachers.

Secondly, I thought of my classmates. 2 years with them have taught me the good, the bad and the ugly. Really, I have seen them all. It was a rough journey with my class, I didn't get along too well. I have no regrets or whatsoever, and why should I? The decision I made led me to what I am today and I would have chosen the same path if I were to experience it again. I came to ACJC alone and I would leave the college with the same note. So much for the bad and ugly, there were a few bunch who have made my college life more bearable. They provided me with comfort and companionship. Many of whom were from another class and some were my juniors. Although this relationship with them were not very close, at least I helped me carry my burden away. To the people who I can call good friends or acquintances, I can only say a little thank you for making my days a brighter one.

With college life all but over, it is time to gear up for the holidays and the inevitable NS in early January 2008. So I want to make my holiday month a relaxing one such as not having to worry about school or work and to let myself loose a little. But mostly, it's about spending time with my family and to catch up on more 'Z' monster for the 2 years of having to wake up at 4.45am on weekdays so that I won't be late for school. Perhaps some cleaning up and packing of the paperwork I have done in JC would not be a bad idea. In the beginning, I thought I could stack them all up and you know, set it ablaze as to celebrate the end of stressful college life but I guess there will be always someone to stop me from doing such crazy ideas, my mother. I guess I would just stash them all away in the store room if I needed them again in the future.

I hope I can cope with morning trainings, running and other keeping fit methods my mother has been nagging at me. Just yesterday, I went to have some short morning run along East Coast Park and here I am, suffering from all sorts of muscle and joint aches. I can't even sit still while blogging this entry. Hope I can manage this pain and start exercising to regain my fitness in time for the basic military training at Pulau Tekong. Better to suffer now than later, right? I don't know what I can expect there but I will have to overcome them anyway. All those trenches I may have to crawl through, high walls to climb, ropes to swing with, downright mean push ups and pull ups, army food and other kinds of physical 'torture'. Gosh, I can't even imagine what pain I would have to endure. My teacher once said that boys like us will beef up quickly when serving the army but once NS is over, all those muscles or six-packs will be reduced to nothing but flab and excess fat eventually. That is why men, as they age, grow wider as all their muscles slowly push their 'meat' downwards with compliments from gravity. The only way to slow the degradation process is to keep fit which many may face some difficulties trying to do so after all, many would have gone back to university and some start working.

Talk about university, I hope I can make it to a local university. If I can't, to faraway land I will go, seeking approval from other tertiary institutions for admission. Not that I do not want to miss out the opportunity of studying overseas, it's just that why go someplace far if one can afford to enrol into the one of the local universities. Yes, their world rankings might have fallen recently but they are nevertheless, acknowledged institutes by other countries.

I guess, it is time to stop right here. Tired and aching badly, hope better looking days are ahead of me and will be looking forward to christmas. Aah, things are looking fine already when I think about December, the month for relaxation and rejuvenation.

This post is inspired by "Sentimental" by Kenny G.

Filling In The Vacuum...

2007-09-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

A well deserved break from blogging is not so bad. Now that I'm back 'temporarily', I just want to list done what I have been doing all these while. Let's begin with June, so it here goes.

A bright morning, started my day. All my luggage was ready, checklist done, passports checked, money is already stuck in my wallet and off I go to Bintan for an overseas CIP with my schoolmates, mostly strangers in the beginning. The expedition was to visit a government school in the village of Sebong Lagoi where my college had established a small library on the previous OCIP trips. Mine was the third / fourth batch to continue this tradition and I was more than glad to be part of this team. Partly because I want to find an escapade from Singapore's busy lifestyle. Spent about a week plus 4 days in total. Five days were dedicated to teach English to Primary 3, 4, 5 and 6 students with a manpower of 19, aided by 2 teachers' supervision. First 2 days were reserved for resting and planning for the final touch-ups and the remaining days we had, we spent it on rejuvenating and exploring what Bintan has in store for us.

Details of what we did in the primary school was classified but the bottom line is that we had fun teaching the children with inclass exercises, some indoor and outside games. My personal experience there helped me to see how it was like in a typical Indonesian government school. Facilities were barely adequate, hygiene was minimally exercised but there was this spark of happiness and contentment in the eyes of the children we taught. Their smiles were heartwarming despite the poor conditions they have to live through everyday, indeed it was an exceptional feeling to see life in that manner. There was once an occassion when it was pouring down heavily and the children were drenched. They made a conscientious effort to clean corridor with brooms to wipe of the wet sands stuck on the cemented floor. And there was this boy who removed his socks and shoes, held them in his hands and went home barefooted after the rain receded. It was then, I realized that the simplest things in life meant so much for them. The wet ground would have soaked his shoes and hastened the wear and tear process.

The next part is about my comrade in arms who have made a difference in this trip. Each has his/her own reasons for participating in this trip but from what I saw, they came not entirely for personal gains. Every night we had sharing sessions that over time, developed into emotional revelations and matured discussions. Following that, we would head back to prepare teaching materials for the next day. In our free time, we would mingle around in table games or watch TV, some returned to their bunkers either to sleep early or to study. That was how we filled each day, maintaining focus when it is the time to and at other times, we are just being humans who need a dose of socialization with those around us. And that kept us closer, getting to know a bit from everyone, after all, each one has their story. Overall, I enjoyed my stay in Bintan, working and playing together, exploring the area without a map and still made it back in one piece, getting to know my teachers in charge and most importantly, it has given me a window to see the world out there, places that give peace and tranquility when I needed them most. For that, I'm glad I went and contribute what I can to make this trip an enriching one for myself, the team and the beneficiaries. Others have their own set of stories, one that involved shedding tears of joy and reluctant farewells, so I shall leave it up to them how they want to explain their experiences.

July, another month, another year. I cannot believe I'm going to be called twentysomething from now on. It just makes me so ... old. Never mind about that. The main highlight was the Installation Ceremony where I finally stepped down from my post. A survivor from a year long of duties that gave me headaches most of the time and smiles as well at times. The present i got from the aftermath was a 'caked face', probably an act of 'revenge' after all I have put them through, now that it all ended, there was no holding back. I have fulfilled what I promised the teachers during the interviews and relieved that they are all done. My job ended here, so were my obligations and my authority, it was a bittersweet moment for me.

August was rather a fast month to fly by so easily. One thing I did was to involve myself at TJC Leo Club Installation, met a friend of mine and bid my final farewell to the place where it all began, my journey into my former CCA in my present college. To summarize the month of September that is almost over, it was alright. Had its ups and downs but overall, I'm alright with it. Nothing much happening, I'm looking forward to the holidays after A levels. Now that I recalled, I visited my secondary school on Teachers' Day, met Mr Oh on the bus one evening so I decided to pay him a visit after the long absence. I met my former fellow PSLs there and unexpectedly, I met some of the exco members who I had long lost touch with. Caroline, Cheryl and Michelle were there and it was good to meet them again. We did not plan to meet, it just so happened that we came on the same day, at the right moment when I was about to head back home. So I stayed a little longer to catch up with them. And thanks for the cinnamon doughnut bought by Caroline and Cheryl.

One last note, I do not know when I will blog again so yeah, I guess only time will tell. I had this dream to go away from all these things and find myself a quiet spot in the corner of this world, where time ticks slowly and I can just lay on back on the green pasture. Paradise on earth? Highly unlikely but somewhere close to paradise, there is always a possibility. Just like the one I found in Bintan, hopefully, I can find that place where I can settle down in peace, away from modern civilization. I will miss lots of things but you know, sometimes, you are can be so tired from city life up to a point that you just want to get away from it all for good. That time will come for me, one fine day, and I will bring my memories and mementos along to my dwelling place. Would I be lonely? Perhaps i might, but you can always visit me when you have the time. Then, I won't be so lonely, right? Otherwise, memories are enough to keep me alive and sane. Perhaps, what I just said is an elusive dream but deep down, I really wish I could at least experience it in my lifetime.

This post is inspired by "Five Loaves and Two Fishes" by Corrinne May.

Journey's End...

2007-05-25T20:22:00.000+08:00

It is almost here, my time is nearly over and that will be my journey's end. So here I am contemplating on the past, thinking if I have done to the best of my abilities. I asked myself if I have been a leader or merely and blindly following orders from my superiors. So many questions I cannot answer but time will not wait. Soon the successors will replace the 'old guards' and our chapter will come to a close almost immediately. Am I prepared to let go? The truth is no matter what I try, I can never let go of the past.

Last year, I was given a job to do, a job that I never really wanted to have. And so I began to do my job to an extent that I would give up many things in order to do my job well. I have lost many things along the way. I lost my friends, my freedom and my feelings. My sense of duty was the root of all these losses. But now, when the time comes for me to be free from these chains, I felt that I want to remain this way. Regrets? No, I guess I was partly to blame, I did not savour the moments, I did not live life to its fullest. I have lost so many things and now I'm left with nothing but myself. I'm not trying to pity my current state, I just want to let myself know where I am today and how do I proceed from here on. My final moments, I want them to be meaningful just like it used to be "To finish what I started" so that at least when I leave, I shall bear no burden.

A friend of mine said that I should not think too much that it will only make one feels sad. Frankly speaking, I do feel some kind of despair as I write this entry but if feeling sad makes one stronger emotionally, then when sadness do occur, I would be able to guard my feelings, I won't feel so sad. Selfish thoughts perhaps? Maybe. Speaking of friends, I do not have plenty. Friends are just friends when you are happy, when you are sad. And in the end, you are left with nothing but yourself. Introvert, anti-social, individualistic? I guess I can live with people branding me as such because no one can be liked by everyone.

People want to be accepted, a form of seeking refuge from loneliness, but if your shelther is taken away, you are left with nothing and are likely to seek a new place for conformity. That is why, interdependence is such a powerful tool that binds us together so that it can conquer loneliness. We may not like each other but so long as you help me and I help you, we are alright. Sometimes, I do wonder, is being lonely that bad that it can drive one on the verge of insanity just like in the movie "Cast Away"?

Sigh, another bleak entry filled with random, sorrowful stuff. This always happens when I think too much, trying to explain the unexplainable. Maybe I should just stop thinking...

Sorry to ruin your perfectly beautiful day if you do have one before reading this.

Ladies, Step Up To Reality...

2007-03-25T13:14:00.000+08:00

Don't ask me why I posted that picture up there. I have no valid reason for it, maybe a nice gimmick to me at the spur of that moment. And by the way, it was not taken in Singapore, last December when I went back to Indonesia in a shopping mall.

March holidays are over and it's 'wartime' again. Come to think of it, the holidays were not much of a relaxing period of time because of the exams when school reopens. Life is getting harder every passing year. When I looked back, I did not realize how fortunate I was when I was younger in secondary and primary school. Holidays were the time to explore the shopping malls all around Singapore from East to West, North to South. Windowshopping with my family was the ultimate 'eye-refresher' compared to staying cooped up at home. Ah, those were the days... Maybe that's the reason why I no longer go out often nowadays. Have seen enough malls that it became a bore. I will only go out if it is absolutely necessary and I have time on my side. Otherwise, sorry, I will not be available.

The other day, my mother gave me a lecture on 'how to find a good future wife'. It was one of those lecture series she compiled over her years of experience and analysis of the current society be it in Singapore or somewhere else. I really enjoyed her lectures because it was really motivating and made a lot of sense. The delivery was entertaining with jokes and several case study were presented. Now, that can be a reliable source if information. Nevermind what she told me because I am never going to disclose it anyway. But I think the main highlight is important and I will not mind sharing it. A good future wife has to be able to accept her spouse's family and work towards her goal in building the family's harmony and nourishing the future generations.

If you take a look at the society today, women have so many roles to play. As a mother, a wife, a breadwinner of the family and sometimes, a career ladder climber. I agree that women are better in multi-task arena compared to men. But this multi-task somehow leads to the uncertain role women have to prioritise. Think about it, multi-task equals division of time. Either to spend less time at work and spend more on family matters or vice versa. How successful a woman can manage her limited time when faced in situation like these? Most of the time, a woman, no matter how much she tries to hold on multi-tasking, she will burn out one day. When burnt out, work became a burden and family seems to be an obligation. Things get worse from here on and eventually, family is the usual victim who suffer the most.

Next problem. Just a question for the ladies out there. How many of you can cook and cook well to prepare a delicious meal for the family? Recent observations have shown that women in Singapore cannot cook well enough. Yes, they can prepare instant noodles, fry the egg, cook the rice, fry the chicken nuggets, boil water, cut the carrots and such. But prepare a meal? I don't think many can come up with different menus everyday. Most would just stick to cooking the usual stuff and humans being humans, get bored pretty easily thus, the desire to eat at home will soon degrade. Solution is simple, eat out at fast food outlet, hawker centre, foodcourt or posh restaurants that charge a 'bomb' when you foot the bill. Another fact, those households with extremely clean and tidy kitchen usually have women who cannot cook. Because they cannot cook, the kitchen is not used, only cleaned to wipe off the accumulating dusts. There is this translated Dutch saying, "The only way to make your husband happy is to fill stomach with delicious food that he can crave for more." Not being able to cook is not a sin but it certainly may not guarantee the husband's and children's happiness. Relate this to "A hungry man is an angry man." You will see that men get pretty upset when he finds out that there's no food on the table when he returns from work. Men can be a better chef compared to women but only their wives can make the best dishes these men (or chefs) like.

Next problem. There's this saying, "Once your husband steps out of the house, he is no longer your husband." What I mean is that men can be a different person when he's not at home and it is true most of the time. I can understand why some women hire private investigators to check on their husband. Trust between spouses is important. Lose that trust and you can throw away that wedding ring and forget vows you make. How to deal with this problem, well, the only solution is to quality spend time together more often. Some may find that romance dies off after marriage, so it is essential to relight that flame. It is not easy when you have kids watching you but simple gestures of affection will help maintain that trust. Some resort to 'doing things behind closed door' if you know what I mean. Health professionals said it contributes to a healthy husband-wife relationship and I agree to that statement to some extent. However, to ensure long term perfect marriage is to treasure those little things you do together as husband and wife. Warm conversation with jokes here and there, remembering wedding anniversary and going to places you dated before are just some of the things that can be cherished.

Well, enough said about all these. So Ladies, step up to reality, the popular trends and claims about women being good all doing many things at one time may not be necessarily beneficial after all. Some might have suceeded but in the end, women will eventually do want to have a loving family with her husband. This post has to end somewhere otherwise I can go on listing things that may contribute to the divorce rates in Singapore or perhaps the low birth rate based on the social aspects. Singapore's economic drive in some way can have caused these problems too but then again money can't buy happiness. Fortunately ot unfortunately, money can solve many things in life but happiness is another different ball game.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." Take Singapore for example, there are plenty of shopping centres like Vivocity, Wisma Atria, Takashimaya and all but are we really happy when we have the purchasing power to buy all the things our heart desires? Humans are humans after all, seeking happiness in the wrong places when all they want is to have a good life fulfilled. I believe that harmony within family is the happiness we have been searching for. Family will not leave you behind when your friends do so. Family cherish you for who you are when others judge you. Family's happiness multiply while happiness in other things disappears when you desire another. Unfortunately, some of us may not have this kind of family. But you can make it happen when you start your own family, depending whether you have the courage to start anew with your very own ideals in life.

This post is inspired by "I've Got You Under My Skin" by Michael Buble.
This post is dedicated to my mother whose birthday falls recently.

It Will Always Be...

2007-02-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

Over the past weekend, I have been doing some research on Final Fantasy Series (From Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy XII and supposedly the last installment, Final Fantasy XIII) and believe me, the results never fail to mesmerize me. Of all the games I have played, Final Fantasy is definitely the only one that impressed me most. One reason why I treasure it is because of the songs, ever so melodious and there is this indescribable feeling injected into the song by the singers and of course the well-known Final Fantasy composer, Nobuo Uematsu. His contribution to make Final Fantasy still popular today is beyond measure. Truly, he is as if the heart and soul of Final Fantasy. This song, "1000 words" from Final Fantasy X-2, composed by the man himself, simply grabs my attention when I listen to it. There is just so much feelings in the song that it overwhelms me to an extent that I have to keep on listening.

One fine day, I will purchase Playstation 2 and collect all the Final Fantasy Series on that platform. Call me nuts if you want but think about it, wouldn't you do the same if you want something that really change your lives or where you can find comfort in? And one more thing, I'm not a fanatic. There would never be a day when I'll dress up as one of the characters and appear in some 'cos-play party'. I just love Final Fantasy for the way it is presented and all the original works it offers. Somehow, it gives me the strength, drive, optimism, inspiration, comfort, peace and life which I can draw from throughout my days.

You know, alone on Valentine's Day and the boredom of Chinese New Year were not so bad with these songs ringing in my ears. At least, there is something I can do and appreciate just by listening intently and let the music flow through me. This day, I promise I will always cherish Final Fantasy songs... no matter the time, no matter the place and even if Final Fantasy became just a remnant or broken pieces of history in the future. It will always be a part of me...always...

For all who made Final Fantasy to what it is today, " Thank you and keep adding up the layers of harmony..."

"Sorry, But My Battery Is Flat..."

2007-01-20T15:36:00.000+08:00

"Sorry, but my battery is flat." That was the most embarrassing excuse for a girl especially when you are meeting someone new who just wanted to be friends (sincerely or not) with you. That was what I said some years back when I was dragged along to meet my father's friend at his place. To pass time while the adults were having their own set of conversation, my brother and I were plonked down on a sofa with my father's friend's children. 2 girls, 1 boy. The elder of the 2 girls who was a year or two my junior was just trying to spark some friendly conversation to add us to her contact list and friendster. Well, obviously you knew what I said...

I remembered that night because it was something that I would not have said under normal circumstances. Perhaps some unexpected people at their house made me stand my ground, they were the group of girls who were having a sleepover when we came. But then again, it might not be a very good excuse. Maybe, it was something else, maybe at that time, I was not interested because my heart belonged to someone else. I also thought that such visit would not trigger any short or long term friendship so I was not too bothered with what I said, after all, it would take a miracle for us to meet again anyway.

But when end of December loomed, a miracle did happen. Karma, I figured, had fallen. It was planned that my family would go on a trip to Malaysia with that girl's family, with a few days stop-over in Singapore. I was shocked. What if she remembered what I said? How am I going to face her this time? So I decided to pretend that I have forgotten about her and start anew. But deep down, I was feeling rather uneasy. I felt I should have apologized when I had the chance.

So began my days as an escort, a tour guide and all during their 4 days stop-over. And of course the long anticipated Malaysia trip. I'm sorry but I'm not going to disclose the details of the trip. There were many things I'd rather keep to myself because they are my precious gems of memories. However, there is one thing that I feel necessary to write about. It was during our last day staying in Malaysia, right after the New Year's Celebration and all the fireworks. The four of us (myself, my brother, herself and her brother) got together at the hotel lobby trying to stay awake throughout the dawn. Why? Well, their flight back to Indonesia was in the early morning and they needed to leave the hotel around 4 am. And also, it was our last stay after all the joy we had, the laughters we shared, the photos we took together and much more. So we wanted it to be meaningful for it could be our last chance to see one another before our academic year began in January and our paths started to diverge.

We discussed many things that early morning. All our personal experiences were talked about, whether good or bad. It was rather a warm and mature conversation for young adults like the four of us. I thought this was what supposed to be years ago when we first met them at their place. I realized that we had so much in common and we were so gelled up together. Never in my family's history that all of us could get along fine with all the family members of another family. The time we spent during this few weeks bonded us that our friendship bloomed. And that night was the night we realized that it would all soon end. We knew we were going to miss their their companion. The good things in life never last...

I thought that it was the appropiate time I should confess that I still recall the incident of the flat battery. And I did. Well, just as I thought, she still remembered that incident but she was alright about it. We have shared so much in these few weeks that the past incident no longer matter. And so, we started anew, we exchanged contacts which was long overdue, which we should have done a long time ago. This was something like deja vu. You were put back in a position where you once were in the past. This time, we made the correct decision. There was something more significant actually. They were the first Indonesians who I build special friendship with ever since I came to Singapore 9 years ago.

Some might find this post ridiculous because humans can make friends easily with strangers. But for me, to spend the holidays in Malaysia and the New Year together as completely 2 different family under the same hotel roof and have our meals together, was something I have never experienced before. That dawn, all of us hoped for one thing, for us to meet again in the future, sitting with each other and to continue building the friendship that we started. Truly, "Sorry, but my battery is flat" was the very beginning of all these good things in life that never last.

This post is dedicated to Steph & family.
Thank you for your companion and friendship.

Sincerely, William.

Drifting In Its Melodies...

2006-12-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

Looks like it is already December again. Time really flies, doesn't it? As you might have known, I have been back from my holidays about more than a week ago yet it took me this long to be writing again. Perhaps, what I wanted to say about my holidays have been adequately summarized my brother. If you want to take a look, here is his address. www.edmosphere.blogspot.com. You will find his way of writing very different from what I would have written but nevertheless, I guess there won't be much of a difference anyway.

Been occupied with my 'duties', participating in some events. We had a handicraft day and a pre-Christmas celebration recently. The former went well I think. Managing children can be tough. Now, I understand why my GP teacher said she would never want to be a kindergarten teacher. Even with my own experience managing primary school children, in this handicraft event, I was totally beaten hands down. Despite this, I think we have done what we could have done to make the event a success. That alone is a huge relief.

The latter event was messy but well done. I guess there is no way to prevent the 'messy' part especially when hundreds of people flocked into a regular-sized hall about three badminton courts in width and length. I was quite taken aback by the organizers of this event. Why? Because it seemed that I was pleased with what they came up with, after all, I had not been much of a help then. They bought the beautiful decorations, the cute prizes and all. To top it all, everyone was well occupied to attend to the massive number of visitors and guests. Maybe, this is what they call 'teamwork'. The aftermath, well, of course, we were exhausted and out of gas. But it has been fun.

A few months back, I have been feeling somewhat 'different'. Not because of the tiring events or busy schedule. I felt as if everyone should just let me drift away. I feel kind of bad that people try to include me when I'm the one who is excluding myself from them. Too introverted? Too unexpressive? Too cold? I don't know... I don't think there are people who can put up with what I have been going through. Maybe, I'm just used to being lonely. Or just used to having a few people around. Maybe, I cannot give the kind of friendship others provide. Maybe, I don't know how to love people enough. And so, I will eventually hurt them in small ways or another. So, I always keep my distance... even though I may like that person and want their company. Therefore, I think everyone should just let me drift away...with the songs and melodies ringing in my ears, in my deep thoughts so that they won't be hurt. Loneliness can be comforting and hurting at the same time, just like those songs I love listening to...

I had a friend who tried to cheer me up with her words of encouragement penned on a little slip of paper. She would have thought I have thrown it away but I still have it nicely folded and safe. I could not express it to her what I'm going through and I knew, it must have been hurtful to see someone who was once a friend, ignoring, not talking to each other again. If I recalled correctly, she sent me a message that she would still be a friend to me although we hardly talk. I recalled her 'smiley faces' drawn on my notes, the laughters we had, the days we were friends... Those days that I could never go back to. I don't think she will ever understand why I'm being this way. And I deeply regret that I won't be able to bring myself to being a friend I was once to her. I don't think I can ever say this straight in her face because it will hurt her even more. I guess this kind of friendship is difficult to understand. But it is alright, I will brave the storm even though I'm hurting inside too.

I guess the meaning of my name "protector", has something to do with what I'm experiencing. If my hurt can protect or keep those dear to me, then it is worth being hurt. Just like in my primary school years, there was once I ended up being hurt by many for the sake of a friend. I rather not talk about it though.

This song,"I Think I Love You" is one of those that gives me comfort and hurt too. And I'm drifting in it...so let me drift away...

Operation Dodo Bird...

2006-11-18T13:39:00.000+08:00

Secluded from the age of modern civilization, a new dawn of war was looming as the sun began to set. Generals began to strategize. Liutenants began to gather the troops. Captains began to prepare their war speeches. It was no ordinary war, it was a war of survival. Staying alive was the main priority but in order to do so, one cannot simply sit back and defend the base. But our hands are our only weapons so many have to rethink on how to stay alive safe from enemy's clutches. I knew my choice. I have to advance, keep moving forward, even if I might fall later at least I will be remembered as a war hero. Of course, I would never think of moving forward recklessly. My tactic was called espionage also known as spy-infiltration.

So I started out with about 10 people in my squad. We set off at the siren's shrill hail in the middle of the night. Armed with torchlight, we paved our way to the grasslands. Enemy's fast approach made me seperate from the main squad. I decided to look for another way, advancing stealthily on nearby hill, undetected by the main opposition batalion. My other squad members will hold them out while we proceed to rescue our hostage. Alongside me, a female private and a sharpshooter. Our objective is to get our shooter to rescue the hostage but as we went deeper into enemy's territory we were caught. With our identities exposed, we had little chance to escape. In the end, my squad perished. Somehow, I survived the ambush and escaped notice fro mthe enemy's rear guard. I was close to the place where the hostage was being held. So, here comes my espionage mission. Act normally, turn off the torchlight and walk past the off limits. Once the enemy's rear guard is down, I pushed myself into the area where the hostage was held captive. At last, I was able to rescue our hostage, Elmo from the Sesame Street.

Alright, time to set things straight. I was in this mission called Operation Dodo Bird, a war game held for CCA leaders of ACJC. We were divided into 2 teams trying to outlast one another while completing several missions. They are rescuing our respective hostages Elmo and Spongebob Squarepants dolls, gathering 'Weapon of Mass Destruction' aka yellow lightsticks, planting the bomb aka alarm clock and many more, not forgetting annihilating oppositions' generals, captains and lieutenants. I was in the search and rescue team by the way. Anyway, let's get back to the war scenario.

Once Elmo was rescued, I was relieved that I had successfully completed the mission. It was time to help the others. Our common battleground was the open field. The frontmen of the 2 teams faced each other. My comrades shouted, "Hold your lines, hold your lines !! ". That was really, war-like atmosphere. War taunts included, "Broken Arrow", "Shogun" and "Cover the right flank". Actually Broken Arrow meant nothing, seriously. It was just blurted out to scare opposition to think that we have additional reinforcements.

It was not long before I was KIA, "Killed In Action", after holding my line on the right flank. My loop of masking tape on my back was torn apart by some guy. His brute force had me pinned down as I was trying to escape. Well, I 'died' and had to make my way to the cemetery. This cemetery is just a space where all the 'wandering ghosts' who died in battle had a common gathering. You bet, we asked how each of us 'died'. One 'died' after tumbling and rolling down, tearing his lifeline accidentally. One 'died' after his lifeline was snapped by a girl. By the way, this guy is my school's rugby captain who was 'killed' by the president of art society who is a girl. Last year, I heard, the rubgy captain was also 'killed' by a girl from choir. Bad luck being rugby captain I guess. Others 'died' due to what we called friendly fire, for those who play Counter Strike (...which I don't...), the term 'friendly fire' would sound very familiar. So, we, the ghosts had to kill time by discussing this things until the time ran out.

When the war ended, my Redforce Team, lost. We had our Elmo captured back and our enemy had our Spongebob. To make things worse, I heard my other search and rescue team defending the base where Spongebob was held captive was 'massacred'. One of our captain stationed there was 'killed' as well despite her well fought frantic escape. On the bright side we lost a lot less soldiers.

Then, there was this funny incident. Remember about 'holding the line area', well the right flank was weakened after I 'died' to the enemy kept pushing on the right while my comrades kept pushing on the left flank. So now, we have rotated 180 degrees, my comrades found themselves on enemy's territories and kind of panicked. The enemy decided to conquer our base after breaking the line. Our general and his body guards had to run for their lives. It was a real scramble. So, my comrades too decided to capture the enemy's general and rushed to break their base's defence line. No more holding the line, no more Broken Arrow, there was only mass scramble and mess. Despite all these running and fighting, we had fun.

Now, I knew the thrill of being part of the war itself. There was this adrenaline rush when your live was at stake. Your mind was always filled with fear of being 'killed' yet your instinct told you to survive at all cost. There was this sense of camaradiere and being brother-in-arms. It was simply exhilirating for me. I could relate this to the picture above.

It was like the Normandy Landing where the allied troops carried out an all out amphibious landing on French shoreline to fight the Germans who had occupied France. It was the greatest invasion in mankind history during World War 2. Many fell to Germans' big guns and artillery but the allied soldiers kept coming. Eventually, Germans used up their limited ammunition and gave up their position as their first line of defence from Great Britain (The English Channel), crumbled. It was a massive loss to the Germans, one of the key reason why Germans lost the war. This incident allowed the allies to attack Germany not only from the East (from Russia), South (from North Africa) but also from the West (from France) . The Germans were cornered with nowhere to escape.

Come to think of it the Normandy Landing looked like our position where we held our lines. Perhaps, our loss was coincidental with historical records.

If there was one thing I really loved about this leadership camp at Jalan Bahtera, it is definitely going to be the Operation Dodo Bird. No doubt it has cleared my doubts on why some people love being a part of a war. It was the thrill when you fired your weapons, the fear of dying, the thought of never being able to see your loved ones again, the sense of accomplishment when you conquer something and the fact that you would be remembered as a war hero if you fell protecting your home. It is so much clearer now. Perhaps war has a purpose compared to the boredom of peace. I am not saying I support war and prefer it than peace. I just feel that despite the gore and painful memories of war, Man may find the reason for their existence in a war. It gives them a goal to set on, to accomplish something great but at a huge cost by altering the peace.

War was never a destiny, it was a choice we make. But sometimes, we should ask ourselves, why we fight and go to war. Perhaps it is our nature to fight. We, humans, fight for our survival everyday. We work to earn more money than the rest because of our nature to survive. And to be frank, fortunately or unfortuntely, money can solve most things on Earth. So I hope, this post has given you some insights on war...

Homebound...

2006-10-16T09:50:00.000+08:00

I decided to leave out September for studying so yeah, there goes the missing September archive. September month was not a pleasant one. Stress, acne problem, fatigue, brain drain and time constraints. The list went on further but I guess you know what followed after. But September is gone and past. October arrived faster than I had anticipated. Talk about October, I had always wanted to go to Germany during October. There is some kind of festival called Octoberfest where men and women, go out to have good jugs of beer and hearty meals. I would never walk away from good food where I can feast on one-of-a-kind delicacies at reasonable prices that is.

Currently, feeling bored because my mother is not around. She went overseas but would be back soon. Home alone with my brother, well not the first time this happens. What to do, what to do but to explore parts of Singapore when I'm free. Recently went to Vivocity to have some eye-washing and window shopping because I'm broke. It was like a war zone in there. People swarming in and out, long queues, traffic jams and it was just a matter of time before I'm finally feeling deprived of space and oxygen. Crowded places is fine but when it's overcrowded, I think I'll just pass out next time round. I did have some good eye-washing but it did not really impress me. I have seen better malls, larger ones, more glamourous ones and those which could awe me. One day is not enough to explore one such mall. Vivocity may look modern and stylish but I guess it won't be in my list of top shopping centres due to its narrow walkways on the upper floors.

November looms near and I think I'll be homebound soon. Unsure of exact date, I can only hope I'll not miss on PSL camp, that is if my juniors allow me to come. After all, they are the bosses now and me, just an ex-employee of the company. Purpose of coming down? To have fun...not really. To help out...maybe, if that is necessary. To mingle and socialize a bit with my juniors...could be one of the reason. To benefit something from the camp...possibly, I have definitely gained one or two things from previous camps. To keep me alive...exactly. At least there are things to do rather than rot being potato couch all day long or playing computer games till I get butt cramps. Do inform me if you know the dates alright?

But there are still duties to be done. I cannot just leave. I'll always have some unfinished business to attend to because it's a responsibility. I may have to wait for the right time to have my holiday. There are things I look forward in my trip, good food, cheap prices, some company that friends cannot offer, co-owning my cousin's dog, quality family and relatives time, learning how to drive if possible and watching dvds such as the epic Lord of The Rings trilogy, the Star Wars saga or the Matrix series. Quite common or some may say I'm outdated but hey, I love my old toys and I will continue using them when everyone else threw them away in the dumps due to forces of insatiable consumerism. Humans need to learn to keep their old toys in good conditions, who knows we may need them in the future. Most importantly, it saves money and reduces the amount of garbage we throw. Singapore's landfill will not be able to accomodate the rate we throw our garbage plus incinerating them will worsen the haze problem.

On a more serious note, my break away from Singapore will help me forget the unpleasant things I have been facing. Even if it is only temporary, at the very least I can be a happier person when I'm far away from the source of 'unpleasant things'. I may be able to find inner peace again when I'm around my family and relatives. I may be able to visit places that exist in my memories, those that may have been eroded by time. I may be refreshed from lethargy of JC life. I may be more relaxed and escape from the fast pace of change and modernization in Singapore. Soon enough, I'll be homebound...

Inspired by "Over My Head" by "The Fray".

The Long Awaited Return...

2006-08-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

Finally, I stepped foot on the front gates of my dream school once again. The place where I have left many pondering why have turned away from my dream. The place that welcomed me warmly despite my abrupt decision to leave several months ago. The place which still gave me that sense of belonging, that auditorium that had me gasped when I saw its sheer size for the first time. The place whose greenery could always be an escapade for momentary relaxation. The place that had me entrenched in its roots, its spirit, its passion, purpose and drive. It is no wonder why for some like myself still believed that once a TJcian, always a TJcian at heart.

I went alone that fine evening and for some selfish reasons, I thought that I could find answers there. I went past the well kept college grounds, the familiar looking corridors, the very pillars that supported the college all these years and of course, before long, those faces I had once recognized smiled from afar and made me feel at home like once it used to be. It was very prominent for me to get the attention from the 'natives', having worn a rather unfamiliar dress code from the rest. But my intention was not to create a buzz back there, it was more of a long awaited return I have longed for, a reunion perhaps. And as it turned out to be, I managed to get what I came for.

It was then I knew, I have just found an answer to all my doubts and disappointments. I felt lifted up, more spirited, rejuvenated as one might say. To be present among those I have not kept in touch with certainly relived my past. And so, I sat down on one of those grey seats, grinning and brimming with pride as I looked around the auditorium, thinking to myself that this place has not changed one bit. It simply brought back fond memories. The event soon began and everyone sat still in attention. To cut short the event details which I intended to use them for a keepsake and memento, I'm just going to share the last part of the whole event. Before the event ended, the audience stood up with heads up high. I too followed suit. But this time, I decided to put in that extra mile. To be once again singing the college anthem restored my wounded spirit, lifted my burdens, rid me of my fears and most importantly, gave me something to be proud of.

I'm proud of my friends who stood by me, who acknowledged my contributions, who would not forsake me. The least I could do was to stand alongside them, acknowledge thier achievements and not forsake them in return. It was here that I realized that truly, I'm still a TJcian at heart even though having spent only 3 months there. All because I believed in the college; 'Passion, Purpose, Drive'.

If you ask me if I have regrets not staying put back then, I would say no. Because the fact that I was back to where I previously belong to, has already broken the chains of regrets that only the chariots of fire fuelled and uplifted my sunken spirit. No longer adrift, because now, I have a direction to go, I know where I want to be, I know who to place my trust in, I know for sure that I'm on the right track, I know victory awaits because only by being steadfast and valiant to duty true, I'm living a life worth living for and therefore I exist for that very purpose. My return to Temasek Junior College has been a fruitful, meaningful and purposeful one. For that, I thank you, my friends. Thank you for giving me the healing, friendship and warmth that I need in these desperate times...

(in chronological order) I hope I did not miss out anyone...
Dedicated to Soo Hui, Xue Ting, Sherlyn, Shahidah, Farha, Hayden, Michelle, Xingling, Hui Yan, Yik Ka, Chuan Li, Hanling, Si Jing, Yan Shan and Ilyana. Not forgetting Florence though you were not present back then because Xingling reminded me about you.

Inspired by "Better Man" by Robbie Williams.

I Only Have Myself To Rely On...

2006-07-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

Some may have noticed why I have not posted for so long. There is a reason why I have waited for this time to write this post. For the past few weeks I have managed to get away from people, just to be alone for a while as I feel the need to. Why? Well, it is because I sometimes feel insecure being around people. I find peace without company and by just taking my time to contemplate helps me to reflect. During this time, I began to observe people around me, as I imagine myself being invisible in front of them. Just by observing the trivial things, I have learnt to open my eyes on issues such as ignorance, betrayal, pride, love, desperation, loyalty, angst and joy. So, I took the initiative to just be quiet to listen to what people say and observe their every move. I did all these to prepare myself for 'this day'.

I realized that I'm doing this to search my inner self. I thought that by 'vanishing', I could make people unaware of my absence. I thought that by being 'mute', I could listen as people reveal their usual self that I tend to ignore. So basically, I was trying to make people forget that I wasn't there all along, that I was invisible, that I was non-existent. You may wonder why? Well, it is something I cannot describe till you decide to give up the feeling of security being noticed by those around you. But one thing I can say through this, it takes great courage to give up conformity to find peace and tranquility in solitude.

It so happen to me that 19 years of living allow me to see the finer details of life. All the good and bad things I encounter every single day. People always say that we have to live interdependently, that no individual can survive by himself. Personally, reliance is a form of complacency but an important factor of trust. However, many only understand the latter more than the former. Thus far, I have relied on myself as best as I could have done. So, when people try to make me feel better when I am feeling down, or when people organize some surprises for me, I feel that I have indirectly relied on them to lift my spirits high. I do feel as if I owe them something for giving me that extra concern and appreciation. Perhaps, that is why I do not look forward to 'this day' while others celebrate it with so much happiness.

Strange as you may call me, it is one of those things that makes people like me and you, different. You look at one angle whilst I look at the other. You define loneliness in a negative light while I make use of it to re-evaluate my very existence. I just have one question for you, "How do you prove we exist?..Maybe we don't exist." Before you answer this question, ponder on every word and come up with a complex, matured explanation.

Just one note as I end this entry, "I only have myself to rely on..."

White, Grey, Black...

2006-06-11T01:43:00.000+08:00

Finally, it is complete. The 3 colours that represent the transition of every peer support leader. White. Grey. Black. Upon the end of 2006 Primary 5 camp held at my secondary school, I realized that the very symbols accustomed to each support leader’s evolution are these colours on their T-shirts.

White – bearing the colour of a new beginning of this leadership journey. The very basic and plain colour most should have. In the past, as I don this colour, I experienced something different. The kind of exposure I have never thought I would find by joining this leadership group. It represents my first encounter with my strength and weaknesses of being a leader. Often, I found myself fragile towards criticisms and I have no choice but to accept it.

Grey – bearing the colour of a buffer zone. The point of time when commitment was being questioned. For many, this colour is an exception because they have already chosen their path, to give their all for their newly-found family. But for me, I endured much questions that I, myself created. I find myself asking whether I was good enough to be part of this group. Kept wondering how I got this far and whether I could go on to live up to PSL. Kept searching for my place and role to play in order to not be branded as ‘inactive’ which I eventually overcome, knowing that every little thing I did for PSL would never be a waste, every single things counts, no matter how insignificant. This is also the time when a well-affirmed decision could transform one cocoon into a butterfly. Metamorphosis as one may call it.

Black – bearing the colour of professionalism. The peak of one’s experience is being tested. This is the time where one finds himself realizing why he was part of this family and truly present himself to be the best he can give. For some, the joy of being a PSL was so memorable that he could not bring himself to ignore the good old times that he would do anything to contribute his services for the betterment of the group. For others, it may represent the colour of succession and farewell. But one thing remains unchanged as one puts on this colour, there will be no regrets for having completed this extraordinary journey one could ever get once in his lifetime.

Maybe Caroline was right after all, there are memories so memorable that one will never let go of because it involves who you are, the things you never want to lose. I don’t want to forget the things I have been through all these while, I just can’t seem to willingly let go of my past, being a member of PSL family. Perhaps, I was etched from the start and naturally, I made my decision to come for this camp just to relive those days, those memories that seemed so distant but by being involved in it, simply heartwarming.

The one thing that really moved me was how my previously sec 2 juniors have become today, especially from Proj-teen. I could see they are more united, more bonded, heart and mind alike. I guess the essence of a committee’s success lies on how its members see and feel for one another. Truly, I felt happy for them because they have something that will guarantee the success of their future endeavours. Many words I have left unspoken because I wanted it to be written down like this. I hope with these few words, I could reach out to them.

Next, about the current sec 2 juniors whose names I could recall well not entirely but I managed to memorize them by the end of the 4 days. In random order: Shi Qi, Sarah, Nabilah, Amy, Jeffrey, Sofyan, Jasmine, Hilmi, Dillon, Sze Man, Ming Yang, Edward, Yu Xian, Theresa, Sabilah, Nurhanis, Samuel, Munirah, Atiqah and that is as far I can go, my apologies if I missed out some names. My only hope would be to see you guys be leaders that excel beyond what you think you limit yourselves to. The time will come when you finally realize that PSL is not just about fun and games but also sincere dedication, tireless efforts, service learning, a different breed of leaders from councillors and all about the appreciation of being PSL yourselves. Perhaps, this appreciation too drove me to write this post.

For the executive committee, it was pleasant to see you guys grow and bloom. Indeed, we were not wrong to bring you aboard on captain’s wheel. Overall, magnificent performance, I would have given you a standing ovation if necessary. I found Aleem’s lunch oath very interesting and unique, Anthony’s bumble bee and shark attack hilarious, Xinyi’s enthusiasm never ends till she finally lost her voice, James’ spontaneity and antics amusing and it mirrors himself, Huiwen’s achievement to overcome her once-lost sense of belonging worth applauding for, Khaizal’s background support worth mentioning which contribute to the camp’s success, Ruo Ning’s determination to give all she’s got even at the expense of some personal problems with her brother caused be by the camp worth noticing, Nikita’s absence regrettable, Michele’s efforts for the camp very heartwarming and not forgetting Anand’s competence that simply exemplary. No matter how different you guys are, to me you are all important and worthy to don that meaningful navy-blue blazer next year. And remember that PSL have given you much and when the time comes, you will have to make a choice whether to give back something for PSL. The choice is yours alone.

My role has come to fade away, eroded by time and distance but my heart will always beat the PSL spirit… - William

Inspired by “Home” by Michael Buble.

Operation Handover...

2006-06-02T00:44:00.000+08:00

The Law of Nature states that only the fittest survive, the idle and weak perish. The fast shall escape while the slow shall be caught in the predators’ claws. The mighty shall conquer while the powerless shall bow before the former. This is how life works for humans and other living creatures alike. A boyhood friend of mine recently became a victim of the Law of Nature in terms of relationship. He shared his heart-breaking tale with me when his girlfriend went after someone much more superior, much more good looking, much more intelligent, much more athletic, much more affluent, much more of everything than what he has. All I could give was a word of consolation so that he would move on; after all, he only has himself to depend on. You cannot always rely on other party for assurance that they will stick by you especially when something better arises. This is what human nature is all about.

When I reflected on this again, I realized that perhaps greed is the driving force of our very existence. We always wanted the best in everything. We want better crops to harvest the highest yield; we want to be more affluent to satisfy what our heart desires. Human is never content with others, his surroundings and most importantly, himself. And this is how life works for you and for me. Nobody can defy this fact because we are built in such a mechanism to desire more and more. Many whom I have spoken to relate greed as a necessary evil that indeed has saved us from extinction eons ago. And today, we are still driven by it to accomplish our goals, our dreams and our passion.

Sigh, enough talk about all these negativities, it just sounds so demoralizing. But always keep in mind that all these are true and cannot be totally ignored. We just need to adjust ourselves, leaning towards contentment in some other ways, in order to escape from this dark side of ours.

The coming weeks look promising with the primary 5 camp back at Temasek Secondary, the world cup, Chelsea’s signing of world class footballers, Singapore Idol 2 showcase, CCA and not forgetting the term examinations when school reopens. Time really flies, I wonder if the working world moves at a faster speed than now. If that is so, then it is worrying because we have to keep running so that we won’t fall behind. And the only way out is when after all we have done to catch up; age begins to slow us down. Then comes the unpredictable future, throwing all sorts of challenges, barriers we have to overcome, pleasant or unpleasant surprises and at times, miracles or dreams we long for.

As I reflect again, I felt I have been too much involved in this ‘mission’. One which I would call Operation Handover. There are thousands of uncertainties I have to face alone like “will I be able to lead this squadron to victory?”, “will this mission ends up with casualties?”, “can my brother-in-arms work together?” or “at the end of the day, will what I have executed be worthwhile to not only my squadron but also my other comrades?” Being the captain of a band of soldiers is never an easy road. A wrong decision might unintentionally kill the comrade next to him and the whole mission will be in jeopardy. Regrets are the worst form of feeling a leader can think of. I just hope this Operation and the following events bound to come leave no scars of regret etched in my comrades’ memories and mine as well.

Inspired by “If You’re Gone” by Matchbox 20.

Their Unconditional Love...

2006-05-06T00:46:00.000+08:00

Everyday, all of us meet people of different faces but how many of us will stop and take a closer look at those around us and ponder why these faces are shown before our very eyes. Today, I met someone special in his own ways. Somehow, when I looked at him, there was a sudden urge for me to observe him in greater detail. Well clad in red t-shirt and a pair of jeans, he looked as if he was an ordinary child. Then, I noticed the small yellow hand towel he held in his right hand. It appeared to me that he could not control his right hand. It kept shaking and vibrating uncontrollably. His short attention span caught my eyes as he perpetually looked restless. His eyes swept from corner to corner as if he was trapped in a different world. It did not take me a minute to realize that this child is autistic. His out-of-the-norm façade confirmed my suspicion.

Standing beside him were his parents. His father was not too concerned with the stares he received by the other commuters. He maintained his cool and stood proudly despite the fact that his son was rather making a nuisance by grabbing his leg. His mother would then pull him gently and treated him as if he could understand every word she said. By this time, his father finally decided to step in. He lowered himself to the boy’s height and lovingly comforted his son. The boy mumbled a few words and hugged him. His father’s reply was to pick him up and let him warp his arms around him and he rested his head on his father’s shoulder. He would then smile at his wife and she too complied.

It was then I realized how much parent loved their child. It must not have been easy to raise a child with autism especially when the society regarded this group of people as outcasts. They could just abort the child when he was an infant to avoid such embarrassment instead, they decided to choose otherwise. This just showed how much they treasure the gift of life even though it was not meant to be a normal child. Furthermore, the very act of affection both of them displayed underlined their desire to accept the way things are and make the best out of it by loving an imperfect person perfectly. Indeed, parents’ love is an unconditional one.

I carved a smile as I watched them from a distance. And it triggered me to express my innermost human feelings, sympathy. The feeling is hard to describe, it is a mixture of melancholy and of peace. How much I wished I could walk to them and said ‘hi’ to their son. It would then a make a difference in their lives. Having been exposed to such sights, it allowed me to appreciate what I have, a decent life, an ordinary life, a normal life that children like them would have wished for.

Inspired by “Because You Live” by Jesse McCartney.

The Misadventures at ACJC...

2006-04-08T03:37:00.000+08:00

(front row) : Martin, Wilson, Nabilah.
(middle row) : Lysia, Safiqah, Joy, Faith, Xiao Shi.
(back row) : Adlin, Benjamin, Amy.

It has been quite some time since I have been posted to ACJC and I have been busy ever since. Sincere apologies for those readers out there who want to be updated. Anyway, I am content to say that this college is a vibrant one, all thanks to my classmates whose personalities are so colourful that I am never bored just by listening and talking to them. There are always smiles and laughters as we discuss almost anything under the sun and everything else underground.

If I recalled correctly, during the first few week, my class came up with a popular term called 'scandalous'. I did not know how it all started or who came up with it, it just happened so fast and so infectious as well. There was one occasion where as a class, we asked one another about boy-girl relationship and about who likes who. This is the first time the class was so enthusiastically matchmake people who made up the class. And this went on till today. Nevertheless, I think this allowed us to bond after all about half of the class is from the second intake. Coming to a suprising fact, I was the only guy from the second intake that got into this class.

So anyway, on the 7th April, the class went for The Tempest, a play produced by the ACSian Theatre. We took some photos, bought flowers for Amy who performed in the play and took a video during the interval. Playful, cheerful and full of laughters, that is all I can say about the video footage, starring the names of people mentioned above. Maybe, I should take video more often so that I can relive those sweet memories.

The misadventures at ACJC is not over yet, it is only the beginning and hopefully, it is going to be an illustrious 2 years in this fine institution where there is one particular school rule that amuse me at times, "Let the light pass between you and your 'friend'. No holding hands within the college compound unless the situation forces you to do so."

I would like to end this entry with a poem.

His hardest hue to hold,
in transition; he must be bold,
no matter how hot or cold,
some things are better untold.

'cause as one get old,
the future begins to unfold,
to whom it may be sold,
some things may just turn to gold.

Inspired by "Queen of My Heart" by Westlife.

One Last Tribute...

2006-03-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

It is good to have everyone in the snapshot. And I'm glad to be part of it...
There is no word to describe my feelings when I got this photo because it just worth so much to me ...

Something About Them...

2006-03-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

in alphabetical order : adeline, bidina, esther, hayden, jin hui, jocelyn, keith, michelle, samuel, sherlyn and yik ka.

Think fun, sun and sands. There is no place in Singapore best describe them other than East Coast Park. 14th March 2006, marked the day that we, as part of the original CG 08/06, simply was out to have some fun from the busy life in junior college bound to come in the coming week.

Some things we did to entertain ourselves were playing soccer, strolling along the beach, having mini picnic, joking around, charades, playing murderer, telling jokes, cycling and many more. Through these activities, we managed to bond, to get to know others, to find the meaning of friendship even though some of us are no longer in the same college. From an individual point of view, this maybe just an ordinary outing but to me, it could be the first and the last time we could meet up and just frolic despite the passing time.

I am glad to be part of this CG, surrounded by people with different yet colorful personalities even though I just barely knew them for less than 3 months. There is something about these people that really make a difference in my life. Maybe, I just discovered where my teenage years truly began. It was not when I turned thirteen but when I met these people whose pace are no different than mine. The beauty and fulfillment of a youth does not lie within being part of the group but through opening up, mutual respect, sharing and bonding for the purpose to have a small yet supportive friends.

If I were to choose between being famous and popular or having a posse, I would rather choose the latter. One can have many followers or fans but not necessarily a group of people who speak with the same tone out of genuine feelings. So, these are some of the friends that I found from early this year. Small in number but strong in spirit and young at heart. These are the people who I may never see again after having spent this short day together and I will definitely miss them all, their wacky antics, their broad smiles, their heartfelt efforts, their footsteps in my heart. Thank you for the smiles once again for one day, I may never be able to see those cheerful, heartwarming curves on your faces for the second time.

Inspired by "Something About You" by "Five For Fighting".

The Successors...

2006-03-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

It is almost time for elections again. This time, it is going to be second group of juniors during my former days of a peer support leader. They now have the power to elect from the current executive members to lead the organization and bring them to a new level. This renewal is a form of succession from the previous generation to the next which I find to be the turning point of lives for those who are deserving of filling the posts previously held by some of the best leaders. This change is inevitable and necessary, no matter from which angle you look at it, it has to be carried out.

Here, we have quite a number of candidates who can be called prospective successors. (in random order)

1) Michele
2) Nikita
3) Aleem
4) Xinyi
5) Hui Wen
6) Anand
7) Anthony
8) James
9) Khaizal
10) Ruo Ning

Each of them possesses different strengths which I think they have displayed quite clearly during my batch's reign. My personal opinion of them shall be kept confidential so as not to affect the readers opinion on these candidates. So, for now, I am just going to predict the outcome though I know the reality may prove otherwise.

Chairman: Michele
Vice Chairman 1: Anand
Vice Chairman 2: James
Secretary: Hui Wen
Treasurer: Xinyi
Training Com Head: Ruo Ning
CIP Com Head: Aleem
Proj-teen Head: Nikita
Member 1: Khaizal
Member 2: Anthony

These are just predictions which I can foresee. However, you, as readers should not be influenced by this set of tentative data. Voters are encouraged to stick to your decision on the day of the election itself.

Another group that will be elected will be the Sec 2 PSL executive members. Because I do not know them well enough, I shall not include them in this post. Nevertheless, I wish them all the best.

Just a note of reminder for successful candidates, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Lead by example, be role models and most importantly, be yourself. Be a Peer Support Leader.

Strangers In The Night...

2006-03-05T02:22:00.000+08:00

Final Fantasy 8 is a no ordinary role playing game. To me, it invokes so much feelings from the male and female protagonists. I find that one of Final Fantasy 8 main themes can be reflected in this picture and the ol' blue eyes' song, "Strangers in the night". In case you are wondering ol' blue eyes refers to Frank Sinatra, an illustrious singer far back from the past. In short, he might not be recalled by some today but his songs still lives till this era.

This song can be considered very classical, almost ancient perhaps and for that, I'll change the song to something else in the coming week. But for now, just savour every moment and recall those days when you were in love.

To Jocelyn (in case you are reading this) : Believe in your own point of view first before you believe in mine. Because in this matter, I'm on your side and not against you.

Afterglow...

2006-03-03T11:47:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to thank Temasek Junior College for having me to experience the vibrant life it offered for the past 3 months. To my civics group, it has been fun knowing all the diverse personality all of you showed. 3 months might be short but I think we have made the most of it. For those who managed to stay, all the best for your future endevaours. For those who are not able to, always remember there are plenty of undiscovered opportunities waiting for you if only you are willing to move on. When one door closes, it opens another.

For me, it is going to be another adventure or maybe another misadventure being posted to Anglo-Chinese Junior College. I look forward to new opportunities, new challenges, new environment and so much more at ACJC. I cannot say much about ACJC but when I do find out all about it, hopefully, I will find my 2 years at ACJC a meaningful one.

The afterglow of TJC is dimming and it will fade soon. But memories do stay. Today, I would like to bid farewell to all those who I have left behind fortunately or unfortunately. It is here that we depart to new horizons. It is here that we can start afresh. Thank you so much for all the laughters, the smiles, the excitement, the adrenaline rush, the good things in life.

Dedicated to
Ex-temasekians: (in random order) Xue Ting, Chuan Li, Andrea, Caroline.
CG 08/06: (in random order) Keith, Hayden, Jin Hui, Samuel, Chad, Jocelyn, Adeline, Marianne, Talia, Bidina, Yik Ka, Sherlyn, Esther, Sylvia, Hui Lan, Jazreel, Matilda, Vicki, Michelle.

Inspired by "Save Me" by Corinne May.

Lost In Transition...

2006-02-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I find myself in a spot where I have to do things that I am meant to do and not those that I would like to. Since young, I have never thought of becoming a scientist or a researcher, in fact, I have never wanted to get involved in the science career at all. Despite these, here I am in the science stream, just doing my duty as a science stream student. I find the call of duty to be something I am responsible for so I can't just turn away because it is true that qualifications in science stream will ensure a range of faculty in the university.

Through self-evaluation, I feel that I'm more inclined to the arts compared to science. In addition, I do like history, some elements of geography and social studies and such. And this can be reflected vividly with the grade I accomplished for combined humanities. This realization surfaced when I first found out my grades and it bothered me because I knew the extent of difficulty and demands if I chose science subjects.

Yet, I still chose science stream in the end. Why? Simply because I think my future lies not on the things that I want to do but things that I have to. It is not easy being the eldest child and heir to carry on the family name to choose which path to take. I'm somehow find myself in a similar spot as my father when he was around my age. He could have chosen subjects that he loved, mathematics, for his future career, instead he went into finance, banking and management field because he was the eldest son as well as to set the standards for his younger siblings. I believe that he did that because of the job stability and the comparatively rewarding salary to support his family. To him, it was his main priority and nothing else not even his passion is going to change his mind.

So perhaps, I'm meant to venture the path that he had taken before. Sacrificing something you like can be a hard pill to swallow but if other benefits for the sake of the next generation can be reaped, then I guess it is already decided. People say that we can be anything if only we dare to dream and make it happen. But at what expense so long as you are happy with it? Some may comment that I have a rigid and traditional way of thinking but it has been proven time and again that having a career suited to your passion need not necessarily guarantee monetary stability but it does provide life fulfillment. I have got a living and breathing example next to me who had taken the bitter medicine and survived it all so I guess it is just natural to follow that beacon.

In conclusion, this is my duty that I am meant to carry out. It can be a burden for some but to me, this duty is a noble one, because if it is not, then my father would not have accomplished so much to provide for my family. Because of his sacrifice, the next generation is having a better life than he used to have. I can only repay him by lifting the weight off his shoulder when the time comes and placing it on mine till I'm able to pass it on to the next generation. Maybe, this is what continuing the family name is all about, self-sacrifice for the benefit of others...

This is a real account of the author. This account is inspired by "Superhuman Me" by Eternal Loop.

Power...

2006-02-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

Power... Am I looking for 'power'?
The O level result is out and I felt powered when I looked at my result slip. It wasn't the best but I knew I have done what I could and so I felt a sense of pride in myself although I knew there were others who did extremely well.

English - B3
Combined Humanities - A1
Mathematics - A1
Additional Mathematics - A2
Physics - B3
Chemistry - A2
Biology - A2
Higher Mother Tongue - B3

L1R5 = 11, Bonus pts = 4
Grand total = 7

Some may argue that it isn't a good grade at all but to me, the value of a person is not measured by how good their grades are, it is measured by their character. The most important thing right now is to wait for the posting result. I don't know if 7 points is enough to get me to where i want to go. But wherever I am going later, I'm just going to do my best. Accept what is already decided for it relfects your limitations and to accept limitations is human.

Here I am... Waiting...

2006-02-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

Time... it will not wait. Time... it will keep moving. Time... it will keep us running. Time... it will never be found again once lost. Time... time will tell what should be revealed to us. It is just a matter of time for me, for you and for all of us.

Time... it shall not wait for me. But time is what we are all waiting for.

Time... it will not wait but the time will come when it is supposed to. For now, I can only wait for time will tell eventually so here I am... waiting...

Shadow...

2006-01-31T14:13:00.000+08:00

"Hey kid, where are your parents? You should not be out here this late. Go home, kid." the soldier said with a commanding voice. The young boy shook his head and turned away back to his dwelling. As he walked on the cobbled pathway under the streetlights, he noticed his shadow imitating his every move. Curious, he tried waving his hands in the air and jumped around in circles. The shadow followed his actions in the exact same way. He was delighted. He realized that he had just found a friend, a friend who is exactly like him only pitch black and unable to reply his burning questions. Nevertheless, he felt that he was no longer alone and this made him feel a little lighter on the inside.

Back in his dwelling, under a bridge, he neatly prepared his bed made of pieces of cardboard. Before heading to bed, he took out a piece of bread he stole earlier that morning. The lost fragrance of the bread indicated that it was no longer fresh. But who would think twice of consuming it when their stomach was growling and mouth felt so watery. Penniless, the boy considered this plain bread a feast, he thought that at least, it would keep him alive for another day. Before he finished his last bite, he tore a small crumble and placed it on the ground. He noticed a kitten looking at him eating from a distance with its tongue licking its mouth and whiskers repeatedly. He knew it was starving just as he was. His thoughtful deed was repaid when he found the kitten sleeping peacefully beside him. All he could do was to smile.

Still in his tattered clothes, he rose early the following morning to find food for the day. He went around the townsquare to beg for food. Some from the rich simply tossed a penny at him. He would then nod his head as a sign of gratitude. The rich kids who looked at him could not stand his sight that they sometimes made fun of him and ordered him to leave. Powerless and shamed, he would fulfill their unreasonable demands while they threw pebbles at him. He knew his place in the heirachy so he did not fight back. He was not revengeful or took it personal, he just want to stay away from trouble should he see it coming.

After a tiring morning, he would take a rest by the river. There, he laid down facing the blue sky with arms crossed behind his head. He thought how blissful it was if he could live like this every day, away from poverty. When it was time to go, he saw his shadow again. This time, it was noon and his shadow has shrunk. He thought that it was dying so he ran back to the townsquare hoping to find a place where there were many shadows. After a wild search, he finally found the perfect spot, the entrance of the train station with huge pillars supporting the facade of the infrastructure. Huge shadows were cast on the marble floors where commoners passed by bustling with chatters and other incomprehensive noises. The boy stood on one of the pillar's shadow and waited patiently for his shadow to appear. It never did until sundown. He was estatic. He thought he would lose his only companion when he was lonely. At that moment, he finally realized that his life is somewhat similar to his shadow...

The boy lost his parents when he was young. Ever since, he was left all alone in the streets. No one to turn to, he learnt the importance of survival in the streets himself. The faces of violence, poverty and hunger were evident yet he somehow maintained the innocence of a child. Many would wonder how a boy could stay alive in these mean streets filled with the negative images of life. Perhaps it was due to the strokes of luck but there was something in him, different from others who were also in his shoes.

He valued his shadow, an evidence of his very own existence in this world. He could see himself just as a shadow among all the rich and all the people who were more fortunate than him. He was always there but always left unappreciated by those around him. They saw him as an insignificant object of zero importance. So when he saw his own shadow, he wanted to view his shadow as his only companion who would always be there wherever he fell, wherever he cried although it could say nothing at all. The rich and powerful have forsaken their shadows, their humble beginnings and origins. If their shadows decide to leave them in times of desperation, who else can they turn to? How are they going to value their existence? Living without a shadow means that he or she does not even exist in the first place.

This story is inspired by "Unwell" by Matchbox 20.

TJC Orientation...

2006-01-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

The past four days spent at Temasek Junior College was a whole full of blast. I have never seen or experience the fusion of energy and thrill like this at this institution. Although this was just an orientation where group bonding was essential, much of it was much more exhilarating, making it all look as if there were other factors than a simple class bonding. Throughout the four days, we hardly had time to catch our breaths simply because there were lots of activities to be part of. Nevertheless, the fun factor still seemed limitless and the best part of all, the students from other schools were very participative and full of enthusiasm thus, we felt as if we were already permanent students of the college.

The most interesting of all the activities was the mass dance. In this exclusive event, every year ones was to master from simple to complex modern dance steps with music as background to liven up the atmosphere till it reached the climax. Dance steps were accompanied by music such as Dhoom, Let’s get it started and S Club party. Using all parts of our body, from head to toe, we had to practice these dance steps within two days as we were performing at Suntec City fountain of wealth in front of the public eyes. Realizing the importance of the performance and so as not to embarrass ourselves, dance masters as well as the two left-footed students toiled to memorize the dance steps. For me, the mass dance had made me for flexible and not too rigid. Overall, the mass dance was really the utmost fun filled activity such that once done, we just could not stop. It was a very addictive activity with positive results as it made all of us to master certain dance steps although we were not natural dancers. Well, at least we had become better at dancing in some ways and that’s awesome.

Next, it was the cheering, stomping and clapping. All these things almost brought down the whole college hall. We were cheering all day long; stomping like no one cared and clapped as if no one listened. When we won, we cheered. When we lost, we also cheered. All because we were all not cheering for achievement but for the enjoyment from the games played or taunting opposing groups. When the students rocked the hall, the floor shook, glass windows almost shattered and the roof was going to tumble on us. Non stop cheering was too evident and was so frequent that it had become a habit. And when we cheered, it sounded almost like a war zone. Like it or not, cheering did raise morale and team spirit.

As for the rest, there were interesting too but if explained, it would take days to complete. It had to be experienced than be written down. Primary source through one’s own experience would make a whole lot of difference than just words. There was no word good enough to describe this college’s magnificent orientation. Through the whole orientation, I had so much fun and excitement although some of which I had rather hidden them in my heart than showing it through crazy and wild actions. To sum up, Temasek Junior College can be a nice place to settle and further my studies if I would be allowed to when the O-level results are out. There would not be other college with so much passion, purpose and drive like Temasek Junior College.

Inspired by "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating.

Crimson Cape...

2005-12-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

The family was made up of a man, a woman, twin sisters, a young boy, a chambermaid and a gardener. A murder took place at their house four years ago. The victim was an old man who happened to be the man’s father. A mystery shrouded the house as the body was never found and almost evidences were erased from the crime scene. No bloodstains were detected, no murder weapon was found and thus no suspects were brought forward. The mayor thought that it was time to close the case for good as investigation was taking too long that the townsfolk began to believe that the old man was murdered by supernatural being. This brought about a cloud of suspicion and fear that the townsfolk were beginning to move away from the village.

A stranger arrived at the village not too long ago and was warmly welcomed by the mayor. He claimed to be a trader from faraway lands who wanted to find market in that village. The mayor offered him to stay at his cottage and he gladly accepted his kind offer. Soon, it became apparent that the town had become ghostly as more and more villagers began to leave. Strange incidents began to occur. Corpses were dug up from their graves and left to rot. The youths of the village were found hanged at their homes. The stranger began to question the mayor about the village’s dark past and learnt about the family. Ever since that incident happened, things has became from bad to worse. The stranger decided to solve the murder mystery and was determined to put an end to this nightmare. The mayor warned him about the consequences of having attachments with the family that whoever came close to the family has never come back alive. The previous victims were the town sheriff and the constable.

The stranger arrived at the family’s mansion as a guest in a carriage. He told the family that he wanted to investigate the murder that took place four years ago. The woman told him that his efforts would be in vain as four long years had passed and thus, finding evidences would be fruitless. He replied that so long as the remaining family members were still alive, any mystery could be solved even without evidences. He was later brought to the guest room where he would be spending the night. Nothing unusual happened that evening. Soon it was time for dinner and he asked the woman about the muscular gardener he saw through his bedroom window. He suspected that with the amount of strength he possessed, it was likely he could kill the frail old man with his bare hands. She told him that the gardener was a gentle and nature loving man who would never hurt even a spider. He noticed the twin sisters sitting opposite him. They were silent throughout dinner and never spoke a word. After dinner, he took a tour around the mansion attended by the chambermaid as instructed by the head of the family. After taking a look at the crime scene and visiting some rooms, he returned to his room, sat down on the chair and wrote, “The painting along second floor corridor leading to the twins room shows heaven and hell turned upside down” and “the chambermaid was young and beautiful yet I sensed something dark about her from her eye contact”. He went to bed and turned off the light.

Upon midnight, he noticed the gardener again. He seemed delicate while working on the flowers he thought. He approached him in his pyjamas and asked, “May I know how long have you been working here?” The gardener answered, “About eight years, the lady hired me back then.” The stranger continued, “Can you show me your palm?” He opened up his palm and the stranger sensed something was amiss. He later said, “You worked too hard for a gardener. Nevertheless, keep up the good work on those thorny roses.” The gardener smiled and returned to his work. The next morning, the stranger headed for the twins room. It was locked so he peeped through the keyhole. The twin sisters slept on different bed with their back facing one another. He then walked towards the painting and observed it carefully. Something was missing from the painting. He was sure that the heaven and hell represented the twins but there was no indication of the painter’s signature. He went to the chambermaid and asked her if he could take a look at her room. She was nowhere to be found but her room was not locked. It was located at the far end of the mansion away from the family’s rooms. He looked at the ceiling, walls, and floors and even under her bed. It was clean and there was nothing that caught his eye except the fact that the room was big enough to be shared by two people on one bed. He left the room after thanking her and made his way to the youngest member of the family’s room. The boy was sleeping soundly in the room. The room was located at the far end as well, opposite the chambermaid’s room. The room was small enough to be occupied by one person only. One thing was odd, why would a boy’s room be lit by such an antique chandelier. He spent the rest of the day questioning himself with why this and why that all over the mansion. At night he wrote many things.

An antique chandelier was in the boy’s room. The chambermaid’s room was on the exact opposite of the boy’s room but they had different room dimensions. The painting remained a mystery due to the absence of the painter’s signature. The rough palm of the gardener was not due to the roses’ thorns but it was due to friction.

The following morning, he entered the twin’s room. The twins were missing. The room was decorated with black on one side of the wall and white on the other. It was said that the twins had completely different likes and dislikes. The room’s location was at the heart of the mansion which became the parallel wall between the western and eastern part of the mansion. It was also said that the one of the twins favoured their mother while the other favoured their father. The parent’s room was exactly above the twin’s room on the third floor. He entered the parent’s room. Nothing unusual was found. So, he entered the study room where the murder took place. He took the pen on the desk but soon realized that it had run out if ink. Why would somebody leave this useless pen? He searched the room for clues. The room was dusty indicating that it has not been used for quite some time. Then he saw a slip of paper sticking out between two books. It was a drawing of a boy and an old man. He took out the two books and strange enough, both of the books were entitled heaven and hell. He later entered the old man’s room which was just beside the study room. The room was empty and the walls were dull. Then, as he stepped across the room, he could hear his footsteps. He realized that below the floor, there was a hollow space. As he stepped harder, banged his feet harder, the sound got louder. He knew that there was something below the mansion that was why the ground floor was covered with carpet. But this room was left out because the murderer wanted to remove every clue. After collecting all these details, he worked to fit in the puzzle pieces in his room, burning the midnight oil. He wrote all he encountered.

The following night he gathered all the family members and asked them to remove the carpet of the ground floor. He found out that there was an underground wine storage with its entrance close to the study room and stretched from the eastern part of the mansion to the western counterpart. It was an ordinary storage and was no longer in use as mentioned by the man. He found a telescope, a shovel, a worn out slippers and an oil lamp. So he concluded something and announced it to the whole family during supper. He started, “I found something interesting. These slippers I assume did not belong to any of you. Its size and shape was designed to minimize noise and usually worn by an elder. So, here is something I believed happened. Our late Mr Marley used these slippers and used the oil lamp to travel around this wine storage. To make the storage accessible, Mr Marley asked the gardener to build another entrance under his bedroom. The gardener’s rough palm proved that he worked on the entrance all by himself using this shovel. Next, Mr Marley was close to his grandson as the boy made him this drawing. They visited the study room often as we all knew. I asked the chambermaid if she has been working here long. She was hired by the late Mr Marley himself as she confessed. Mr Marley grew fond of her and spent more time with her than to his grandson as time went by. So, he paid the gardener to extend the storage from the east to the far west without telling him why. All the gardener thought was money so he could not care less about his motive. I believed that the late Mr Marley had an affair with the chambermaid thus her room was made bigger without the family’s knowledge. This occurred so often that he asked his grandson to make it look as if he was in the study room with him by making him write with this pen till it ran out of ink while Mr Marley descended to the storage entrance to his lover’s nest, the chambermaid’s room. It occurred late at night so he believed nothing would go wrong but this secret leaked out. The only person besides Mr Marley who had access to the storage was his son. He knew Mr Marley had an affair. He confirmed it by taking a peek through his telescope from his room on the third floor. All along, he had used this telescope to be the peeping tom on the chambermaid when his wife was not around. His wife soon learned about this secret and they had a conflict. This conflict was witnessed by the twins themselves and thus they sided their mother and father separately. Months passed and this incident went on. The chambermaid was pregnant and Mr Marley decided to abort the baby. Instead, the chambermaid consulted to the Mr Marley’s son’s wife being a woman herself without Mr Marley’s permission. I have no idea about the baby’s whereabouts or what they did. But something else happened. Mr Marley’s son thought that he could blackmail his father by knowing his secret. So he asked him to write the will stating that all the wealth would fall to him when he died which he did with no other choice. The night before his death, Mr Marley asked his grandson to paint a replica of the heaven and hell painting. His grandson managed to complete it except that he had forgotten to put down his signature as he could not counterfeit his handwriting. Using a chandelier taken from Mr Marley’s room, his grandson painted his replica in his room and left it intact. Mr Marley had faked the will he wrote for his son. So, he hid the real will behind the real painting. His grandson then removed the real painting with the replica on the night of his death. So where is the real will? Only Mr Marley’s grandson knew.”

The boy did not reply. The stranger continued, “There is only one room left which I have not checked, the attic.”

The stranger went to the attic and found the real painting and behind it, the will was attached and sealed. He read out the will to the family, “All my wealth will fall to Miss Falena.” It was none other than the chambermaid. “Before I continue, Mrs Marley, would you explain to us why and how you killed your father-in-law?” He said. She was shocked. “The chambermaid and your husband had no reason to kill Mr Marley because they thought all the wealth would fall to them. The boy was just following his grandfather’s wishes and had no ability to kill him. The twins spent most of their time in the room. I think you collaborated with the gardener and the chambermaid. You told the chambermaid to keep the baby till it was born; then you asked the gardener to kill your father-in-law. The gardener refused so you tried to frame him by telling me that he was a delicate man so as to make me suspicious of him. The reason why you asked the chambermaid to keep the baby was because you knew Miss Falena would inherit all his wealth due to their secret affair. You had plans to dispose her once she received the will so that you would be able to change Mr Marley’s statement and thus you would inherit all his wealth. In addition, being a pregnant woman, you would be able to play the role of midwife for Miss Falena to make it look as if Miss Falena died while giving birth. Both ways, you win. So, where is the body?”

The woman stood up and pointed at the garden. “So, I see, framing the gardener would be the conclusion as he knew about your plan to kill Mr Marley.” He added. She confessed that she killed him in the study room by suffocating him using the pillow. He commented, “So, that was why no evidence or bloodstain was found. A perfect plan I must say but I missed out something, the town sheriff and the constable. The mayor told me they did not return after investigating, what happened to them?” She smiled sinisterly. “We killed them all.” The man said. “All of us are part of the plan. Yes, me, my wife, my children, the chambermaid and the gardener. We planned it all along. Now, the truth shall die with you just like the two of them.”

The stranger was taken aback and said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m no guest here and I’m no trader from faraway lands. I am a vampire hunter. So now you know why I only went out of the room during daytime. The smell of blood lingered in the air at night. I knew vampire was around when I saw those tooth marks on those poor villagers you hung and the fresh corpses you dug up so that you could quench your thirst for blood.” He took out his crossbow and arrows and shot those pointed dart-like weapons through the vampires’ heart. None of the vampires survived for an efficient and experienced hunter was prepared all along. After that, he returned to the mayor and explained to him about the vampires and who he was. He told him about Mr Marley who was a human was buried at the family’s garden. He also stated that Mr Marley had an affair with Miss Falena who was a human as well but became a vampire shortly after giving birth. The baby was saved from the vampires and was brought to this village. “So, I guess, I know who inherited his wealth then. I have an adopted son. I found him on my doorstep four years ago. He must be from the Marley Clan and he is a normal human.” The mayor answered. “My job is finished here, it is time to wander to other places and slay the remaining vampires, farewell and I wish you well.” The stranger left as he walked out of the cottage with his crimson cape…

This story is purely fictional. This story is inspired by “Our Master, Fugue”, artist unknown.

The 12 Horoscopes...

2005-12-04T01:41:00.000+08:00

Everyone in the hall waited for the arrival of Virgo, the only female among the constellation. Some were anxious, others were certain and confident that Virgo would choose them as her companion. Virgo came, dressed elusively in a pure, white gown, walked past the crowd and approached the centre of the dance floor. The crowd formed a circle around her and stood up with pride. Virgo then said, “Thank you for waiting. As we all know, in the coming three days, we will be celebrating the ‘festival’. It is time for all of you to prove yourself deserving to win my heart so that you will be able to spend the ‘festival’ with me. So, whoever among all of you here is able to find me and win my heart, I would willingly be your companion for the ‘festival’.” Virgo then walked out and disappeared, leaving the other 11 candidates pondering on where she would be but most importantly what would win her heart. The 11 candidates left the hall and dispersed. Each was determined to win Virgo’s heart thus working together as a group would create hindrance than benefits.

Aries travelled southwards to find open pasture where he could look for inspiration. Taurus, who was ever brash, began his journey to find Virgo, charging ahead with full speed. Gemini returned to his dwelling where he discussed the matter with his twin image. Cancer sailed to the vast ocean which hid marine wonders beneath to find the precious pearl which he intended to present it to Virgo. Leo with his pride had earlier announced that he would definitely be Virgo’s companion thus he did not bother much about putting effort to search for Virgo let alone looked for the object Virgo desired. Libra’s wisdom taught him to think rationally to solve the riddle Virgo had put forward and with some clues exposed, he balanced the importance of the object Virgo wanted and the urgency to search Virgo’s whereabouts, wondering which would provide him with the best solution. Scorpio headed west towards the setting sun to prepare a poison so as to eliminate his contenders. Sagittarius on the other hand headed east, hoping to bring down the sun with his bow and arrows because he believed that sun was the symbol of life and warmth which represented his true love for Virgo. Capricorn swam across the sea hoping to find the place where Virgo might be waiting as he thought Virgo preferred isolation so as not to be found. Aquarius looked at his reflection on the water and started to gussy up, practiced his speech and romance so as to win Virgo’s heart. Pisces gathered his marine scouts and commanded them to explore the whole ocean to look for Virgo while he would prepare an enchanting marine poem to be read out for Virgo.

Three days had gone by and it was time for the ‘festival’. She was still waiting for the arrival of either one of the 11 candidates who would win her heart. Soon, she began to believe that the ‘festival’ would end up in failure. She would have nobody to share the ‘festival’ with. Virgo took out the magic mirror which reflected each of the candidates’ whereabouts.

Aries spent too much time painting the picturesque scenery of the open pasture that on the third day, he had just completed his painting but had no time to look for Virgo. Taurus had charged past Virgo the first time but did not realize that he had found Virgo; instead he ended up travelling around the world thrice. Gemini thought that he would rather find Virgo himself without consulting to his twin brother for personal glory but later realized that it was a huge mistake. Cancer found the precious pearl which belonged to Pisces and tried to steal it. He ended up fighting with Pisces for three whole days the two were both too exhausted to look for Virgo. Leo found Virgo by chance but his overconfidence and ego brought about his downfall as he was humbled by Virgo’s rejection. Libra found out that to balance the 2 aspects was an impossible task that he decided to throw in the towel and gave up his search for Virgo. Scorpio knew it all along where Virgo would be but his whereabouts was still unknown as it was not reflected on Virgo’s magic mirror. Sagittarius did manage to find the object Virgo would love to have but unfortunately, he was unable to bring his present to her. The sun proved to be too heavy to be dragged around as Sagittarius still needed to find Virgo, thus he fainted along the way and never found Virgo. Capricorn explored every isolated island and places but he began to realize that what he was seeking was not Virgo but solitude. Aquarius found Virgo and presented himself as a gift for Virgo, being a narcissist. Despite being a smooth talker as well, it was not enough to win Virgo’s heart. Pisces fought Cancer shortly after he received the news of Virgo’s whereabouts and had completed his poem. He would have met Virgo and won her heart should Cancer did not arrive to complicate his plans. One question still loomed, who won Virgo’s heart in the end?

Just then, from a distance Virgo noticed a figure among the fog approaching her. As the figure came closer, Virgo smiled as finally, someone had won her heart. It was Scorpio. Scorpio realized that it was wrong to use poison on his fellow contenders. So instead of using the poison on his rivals, he decided to poison himself. He staggered towards Virgo, barely alive and told her why he poisoned himself. He wanted to atone for his ill thoughts of poisoning his contenders. If he died, at least no one would know about his wicked plan. If he lived and found Virgo, he would be able to express his truest feeling before his terminal breath. Virgo thought that Scorpio had proven himself worthy by being altruistic. What Virgo wanted was someone who could give a fair and equal opportunity for everyone to win her heart yet being true to himself according to his given characters and abilities. Virgo spent the final minutes of Scorpio by celebrating the ‘festival’ with him. Unknown to Scorpio, the ‘festival’ included the ceremony of immortality. Scorpio then whispered to Virgo, “If only we could live twice, I would spend my second life with you. I would rather use this immortality for all of us to share than for my personal gain.” Again, Virgo was touched and decided to use the immortality with the other 10 failed candidates. Immortality transformed the 12 of them into stars in the sky where they shone brightly to lighten up the dark nights.

Perhaps, that is the reason why we often can see star formation of these 12 horoscopes at different times of the year so that each of them will be able to showcase their wonders for us to ponder what they really represent. Maybe, each of them is telling us their stories on how they try to win Virgo’s heart. So, when you stargaze on one starry sky just maybe the mystery of the horoscope is revealing its answers without you being conscious at all...

This story is purely fictional so regardless your horoscope, rest assured that the characters mentioned above are from the imagination of the author whether its credibility do exist or not at all. Special thanks to my brother who also contributed to the makings of this story.

This story is inspired by “Stars” by Switchfoot.

Snowed Under...

2005-12-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

He sat alone that snowy night. He gulped down his whisky and ordered for more. The bartender simply granted his request and refilled his glass. It was his fourteenth glass then and the bartender said, “We are closing soon. You should go home and rest up.” He remained silent while the bartender walked away in pity. The man lifted the glass and once again he gulped the whole glass down his throat. Drowning his sorrows over alcohol became a habit ever since he lost the most important thing in his life, his family. It was just barely a month ago that he was spending quality time with his wife and two lovely children on his yacht. It was their first time out on the sea, enjoying freshly caught lobsters and fish, stargazing upon the distant stars that decorated gloomy nights and just being away from the hustle and bustle of city life. It was such a perfect holiday for his family.

However, after just three days in the open sea, his floating paradise was ruined by Mother Nature. Skies darkened and storm arrived, casting blight on his little, white yacht. Waves became rough, strong gusts of wind were too much to handle and in the end, their lives were hanging on a string as nature had created its mighty onslaught. The following morning, everything he held on dear to; had disappeared, his prized yacht was reduced to useless pieces floating on the silent blue and he found himself fighting for his life on one of the yacht’s debris. He was later saved by a passing trawler and some kind-hearted fishermen. They gave him food, water, dry clothes and rushed him to a nearby city. When he learnt about his family’s deaths, he felt as if the whole weight of the world came crashing down on his shoulders. He found himself all alone, crying his heart out with nobody to turn to. His teardrops warmed the cold, concrete floor as he sat down still in a state of sheer disbelief that such tragedy has struck. How he wished, he was the one chosen to perish while his family members were the ones spared by the unforgiving storm. He found himself unable to move on and this led to the downfall of his lucrative business. Within weeks after that odious day, his business crippled and he was on the edge of bankruptcy. His riches soon reduced to rags. And he ended up spending money from begging on the streets on drinking at his favourite bar.

“Sir, I’m very sorry but we are closing right about now.” The bartender interrupted his moment of peace. The man handed him all the money he had. The bartender said, “Sir, we are still short of fifty dollars.” He walked away without replying. The bartender grabbed his arm, forcing him to pay up his bill. The man used his might and shrugged off the bartender, causing the poor fellow, falling to the ground. Waitresses around came to his aid, advising him not to pursue the man. The man pushed open the door out of the bar. The streets were decorated with happy faces passing every lane, brightly coloured lights and a few moderate sized Christmas trees. Christmas was here as suggested by the winter season, full of snow flakes and the chilling atmosphere. The man dragged his feet to move from places to places, leaving behind traces of his shoeprints on the white snow. His vision was blurry, his head felt heavy and his every move looked as if he was about to collapse any moment but he continued his stagger aimlessly. The drunken man had nowhere to go, nowhere to return to.

After sometime, he finally vomited as he tumbled down to the freezing walkway. At least now, he felt much better after throwing up what he had consumed. As he tried to get back on his feet, he noticed a family reunion through a small window. It was a family dinner on Christmas Day. They seemed to be having a hearty meal, filled with warmth, laughter and simply being merry. The elderly were smiling away, the adults were having chirpy conversations and the children were frolicking and making all sorts of loud yet cheerful noises. At that very moment, he felt so jealous, full of envy but soon he felt disheartened simultaneously. There was no way he could have what that family was having. Soon he continued his walk, leaving behind those warm sights of a family reunion to celebrate the Christmas spirit.

From a distance he noticed a bright sparkle of a star. He was sure it was the star of a giant Christmas tree so he began to search the area. After some effort, he finally found it standing proudly in the middle of the town square. Silver bells, colourful lights, decorative items and snow flakes adorned the tree. Looking at the top peak of the tree, the star of the night settled quietly spreading its rays through the dark night. He thought to himself for a while and closed his eyes, perhaps wishing by the tree. He knew that Christmastime was the most magical time of the year and maybe, just maybe his wish would be answered. He opened his eyes and sat on a wooden bench. He took out a photograph of his family taken shortly before the tragic day. A hooded girl approached him and asked, “Sir, would you like to buy a candle to brighten up your lonesome night?” He gave her a penny and told her that it was all he had. She then accepted his penny and handed him a candle. She walked away and approached other people in the compound. Just then he realized that his wish was already answered. The flame of the candle represented hope and someone had just offered him hope. He grinned. He felt lifted.

A simple gesture by a stranger had made him realize though he had lost everything, there was still hope. When love, serenity and happiness were taken away, hope would be there to accompany him through the times of difficulties against all odds. He placed the photograph back to where it used to be and carried the candle as he stood up. He realized that the past was painful and it would never disappear but tonight was Christmas, a time of hope for everyone. And nobody or nothing could take away the hope, the Christmas spirit that night. Nothing could make him snowed under, buried by the shadows of his painful past because every Christmas brought a new hope for everyone…

This story is inspired by “Snowed Under” by Keane.

The Gathering Of Stars...

2005-11-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

The stars had gathered to celebrate their long awaited day, the triumph of having endured 4 years of travelling the unending space to reach their final destination. It was here that stars from unknown dimensions came together, united once again. These stars filled the empty spaces of the universe to form one big star that shines so brightly that not even the singularity is able to consume it. Stars from all walks of life only had this chance to meet and share this jubilant occasion and they definitely were not going to let it slip so easily.

This gathering was the graduation night students called Constellatia. All dressed up in a glamourous fashion while others simply came in with a splendid and stunning styles. It was the evening that marked the end of secondary life and a new beginning to step into the real world. Like one said when you are on the brink of drawing your terminal breath, all those memories just flashed past your mind and so does graduation. This was the evening when everyone gathered in one hall to take a look at some flashbacks of their 4 year journey. Tears were uncommon but I certainly did know that deep inside they were bleeding. It was not easy to let go of those you cherish every single day, those who you met at school, those who considered you as their friends and those who had made a difference in your life one way or another. This gathering 's sole purpose was to rejoice and to remorse upon completing secondary education. Rejoice for this moment was probably one of most celebrated accomplishment and remorse for after this very moment, those who had walked alongside you would disperse beyond the distant stars.

The gathering featured some notable efforts of the students this class of 2005 had achieved. Slideshow presentations showed us how the good old days have gone by sooner than expected, never to be experienced again. Speeches by some of the governing body of the school were moving, encouraging and full of passion. The audience put their heart and soul to appreciate this moment. Food served met students' expectation maybe better. The crowning of the Mr and Miss Temasek were just and I too believed that they deserved the awards. Photo taking sessions were chaotic as visioned by many after all who could resist their desire to spend their last minutes together, after all this was their night perhaps their finest and precious moment left to share for the last time.

Despite all these, like a star, sometime later it would fade away or fall as shooting star. The gathering of the stars was a short reunion. Stars met, stars shared and stars departed. And when this happened, the one big star started to disperse into individual fragments to explore or discover a new galaxy. As stars dispersed, they carried with them a part of the whole single star they used to be. Some stars moved on, some faded into nothingness and some fell across the distant sky to form a shooting star we saw from the earth. Time had judged the beginning of the dispersion and it was inevitable for sure. No doubt stars would cross path once in a while but by then, some things would have changed. Salvaging friendship built on solid rock could prove to be an adversity. Uncertainly shrouded visions we hoped for the future. But always look at things on the positive light, everything happens for a reason...

Let's just say, I'm one of those dispersed star, wandering into the unknown. In time, I will find the galaxy which I will settle at and begin radiate that luminous shine which Temasek Secondary has encarved me with. What about you?

This post is inspired by "Graduation" by Vitamin C.

Temasek's Light...

2005-11-18T18:48:00.000+08:00

The time is ripe. It is all over now, my epic voyage has finally come to an end. These past four years following the guiding light of Temasek Secondary School has finally faded. People rejoice in unison while I took a final look at the school which I enrolled into. I looked back on the days of the school taking part in National Day Parade, the everyday lives of a mere student of the school, the duties of being a peer support leader, the fun filled and full of frolic end of year camps, the Pahang Trip and the once in a lifetime experience the school had showered on me. I just cannot believe that I have finally ended this journey being a temasekian.

I will miss people who I considered friends, Mrs Ou Yang our principal who would be leaving the school, the teachers who had imparted all their knowledge, the PSL family and excos, Mr Oh, Ms Lee and not forgetting the group of people who have supported me all the way, my committee, Proj-teens. I will miss them all for they were the reason why I have kept my spirits high. It has been a short yet enriching journey and to me, those fond memories with laughters, smiles and a simple 'hi' were the ones I am unwilling to let go because they kept me alive.

"We will be the best that we can be, for all things new cause we believe. We will shine with pride, Temasek's light for all the world to see" and "All we can give is the life we live" were part of Temasek's Light's song and I find them rather meaningful. All I can give is the life I lead my life towards school, community and people around me. Temasek has taught that valuable lesson. All i want to say is 'Thank You' to Temasek Secondary School for it has given me a life which I would never want to forget or trade. What lies beyond in the future, let it come by itself. For now, I just want to spend these few days to reflect on the past.

The Temasek Light shall never fade for its spectrum will always shine beyond the distant horizon. It is time to bow out and appreciate what the school has done for me and for me to remember the treasured and precious moments every single day I spent in my school. All because the good things in life never last forever...

This post is insired by "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban dedicated to Temasek Secondary School, it's students mentioned in the post and especially to Mrs Ou Yang for transforming the school and bringing it to greater heights.

Just A Note...

2005-10-15T16:18:00.000+08:00

A note for the readers,

The author would like to thank the readers for spending their time reading the long posts in this blog. Unfortunately, since a major examination that would determine the author's future is just around the corner, he would like to hibernate this blog a for some time. It is with much regret that it has come to this for he has a lot more to write about. Rest assured, the author will be back when the time is ripe.

As for now, it is going to be a goodbye for a while.

Farewell...

Yours Sincerely, William

Childhood Memories...

2005-10-02T14:38:00.000+08:00

Since young, my parents have taken several pictures of me when I was a toddler. The one that I could still see back at my grandparent’s home was the picture of me celebrating my first birthday. The focus was about me trying to meddle with candle which was standing right in the heart of the black forest cake. I think that was the only photograph that brings out the child in me. It reminds me of my childhood days now that I am on the verge of reaching adulthood. It somehow makes me appreciate my sweet childhood past.

There were some moments I can vividly remember when I was little and they were made much clearer when I spent some quality time with my parents, asking them how I was like when I was young. They told me that I was such a cuddly little baby with sparkling pair of eyes. As I grow up, they told me that I had this three strands of brown hair on my head that would be blown in the wind and it made me looked so cute which to me, cute implies ugly but adorable. They further commented on how I was so simple minded that I would just looked at the toys being displayed with my eyes concentrating on them with no intention of buying them even though I wanted to have them. They said that I would ask them, “Is it expensive?” Then, they would just smile because they realized that I was never pushing or forcing them to buy things that every child would want. Well, this was the part that branded me cute for some reasons which I found it rather amusing for such a young child to behave as such because usually a child would get upset when they did not get what they demanded. As for me, when my parents said ‘no’, I would gladly listen to their ultimate decision.

Of course there were other more interesting historical facts. I remembered the time when I was so daring to even touch the base of a hot iron. I switched on the iron, waited for some time and without much delay, I touched the burning, hot iron base. Quickly, I pulled my hand away in pain and cried in discreet. It was so foolish of me to do such things. And there were many occasion when my parents brought me out to restaurants. If you think I ordered the best kid meals served and available in those particular restaurants, you were so wrong. In my bag, I would carry my own home food, took it out and ate them on the dining table while my parents were enjoying the chef’s cooking. The waitresses around were giggling away because I did not seem to bother eating home food at fancy restaurants. My parents were definitely embarrassed but a kid, so young and so self unconscious, would not have understood the embarrassment. And so another embarrassing moment of my childhood which I found out from my parents is revealed.

Children must have their share of tasting first love, a time when they found out that they did develop some weird and strange feelings towards the opposite gender. In my case, I was the victim of a girl who, let’s just say, liked me. Funny but it did happen years back when I was about the tender age of seven to eight years old, approximately when I reached primary 2 or 3. I was in a class where the teacher in charge made all the students to sit in pairs, in which a boy and a girl were to sit side by side to minimize noise level. It did work but the girl sitting beside me was rather irritating me. She would pinch me, hit me and do other silly stuff to annoy me. For what reasons, I could not recall. Maybe, I was naughty too when I was younger and that triggered her to so called tamed me. I am not sure though. And there was this surprising occasion which I did not think would happen to any other guy out there when they were still seven to eight years old. And I also believed that there is no girl about the same age dares to do this ‘thing’ to a guy. Alright, let’s just get to the point.

I was standing beside my mother after school while she was chatting with her friend when this girl who sat beside me came over. I was not aware that she was approaching me then. Without hesitation, she got closer and gave me a kiss on my cheek, right in front of so many students and parents, including some teachers passing by and most importantly, my mother. Somehow, I thought I managed to dodge her in the nick of time but I guessed I was wrong. She went away after that perhaps giggling away and giving a fond smile as she disappeared. I was in shock. I guess it was the first time I was kissed by a girl on the cheek. How would you feel if you were in my shoes? To me, that was the most embarrassing moment as a kid which I could never ever forget. When I recalled this incident, I carved a smile, I thought to myself that “Wow, I got that from a girl before?” I just could not believe it happened. As for the girl, I never heard from her after that incident. Years back, I found out that she had transferred school to a faraway place in the United States of America. I still remembered her name though and her looks back then. Fair skinned, long black hair, thin, had a fairly pretty face without glasses. If I had the chance, I would want to meet up with her so that we both could have a good laugh recalling those precious childhood moments. It was funny that strange things happened to me when I was younger and now, I am writing this down to make those memories of yesterday come alive.

Some of us may not have that kind of sweet childhood memories. Some might have been hurt, scarred or haunted by their childhood past. They may not be able to change the past, but they can always live the present and move on to find better days. As for the more fortunate ones, it would be good if we grow up to be teenagers or adults, to seek wisdom and knowledge but always have part of us and see the world through the eyes of a child. A child sees the world as a big open space full of opportunities to do what they want to do and they make their dreams come true despite the odds. When I see a child smiling at me, it somehow comforts me, reminding me that I was once like that. It lifts me up, helps me to find some good in this cold, harsh world. This world is turning from bad to worse each day from pollutions, nuclear threats, terrorism, racism and many other unnecessary and harmful activities. With so many bad things, what is there to keep the world together? Goodwill and world peace is all mankind want and who keeps this hope alive, it is children whose smiles can truly move people’s heart, whose cries can stop mankind’s madness, whose dream is to venture the world as they grow up.

This story is based on a real account of the author. This story is inspired by "Picture of You" by Boyzone.

Knight's Oath...

2005-10-01T11:31:00.000+08:00

After the end of the civil war, the kingdom enjoyed a peaceful era upon the rise of the new king. The communities which were once lost were slowly rebuilding itself. The nobles were minimized, the knights regained their glory and honour and the peasants could at least have bountiful harvests and wholesome meals at home. Ruined chapels were redeveloped into magnificent cathedrals where the community could have a solemn place to worship the gods. Dungeons and gallows were torn down so that the community would not fear the king. Mercenaries were no longer favoured and they were replaced by royal guards. Everything was so perfect until the birth of the newborn prince, heir to the throne.

Plague began to descend on the kingdom. Harvest rotted leaving the community starving. Fires often broke out from nowhere, burning down huts and engulfing people as well as belongings; even the nobles were not spared. Death toll was high and medicine was never sufficient. The community believed that the newborn baby was a cursed child. Thus, they began seeking refuge in the cathedrals to be protected from the odious spell. They thought the devil in him had caused this misery and calamity upon the kingdom. Many demanded the king to cleanse the land from doom by removing the newborn for good. They suggested the chopping block, burning him in fire, drowning him in the lake and the worst of them all, smearing the holy sword with the king’s blood and using it to stab the baby in the heart to ward off the evil in him. The community was desperate to get rid of the cursed child.

The king ordered the priest to the castle. He then summoned the guards to defend his home from the invading civilians who wished to see his heir’s death. He gathered the knights in the throne room. He made them took an oath of loyalty to the king. “From today onwards, the light of holiness shall fall upon thee. Let the holy emblem of thy kingdom carved on your cape guide you to find a haven for this child.” The priest blessed them as witnessed by the king. Later, the king presented them each with The Eden, a holy sword. “May this sword serve thou well and ward off evil on thy journey.” The king said. The knights showed their loyalty by placing The Eden back in its quiver. They turned around and rushed to the castle’s square where their faithful horses were waiting. The king’s servants handed one of them something which would be needed when the time was ripe and whispered a war yell.

The guards then exclaimed, “Hurry, the gate will not hold much longer!” The other commanded, “Everyone, get in the line! Assemble and prepare for battle!” The king could only watch from the window of his tower. The queen too was beside him, sobbing that their end is near. The knights made a dash through the secret passage out of the castle, with one of them, the newborn was safely carried. The gate soon fell and crashed into pieces. Coming out from the dust were the community, armed with spears, sickles and axes. They gave out a war yell and thousands of them made a wild stampede on the greatly outnumbered royal guards. The royal guards screamed another war yell and they soon fought in the name of the king. Another bloody incident broke out after an era of peace. Can a mere hundred of guards stand up to the ten thousands of peasants? Obviously not! The community stormed into the castle, searching for the cursed child, killing everyone who stood in their way. Chambermaids were not spared; they took their heads and lined them up in the castle square. The community wrecked the castle’s interiors, stole any valuable goods and approached the king’s room. Upon their arrival, they could only see the king and queen hanging by their heads on a rope. To avoid being brutally killed, they would rather hang themselves. The community was furious to find out that the child had escaped. They were as if being controlled by demons that they began killing all the remaining royal survivors, dissecting their bodies and burned them all together in the scorching castle. Wails could still be heard from inside the castle however, it was pointless as sooner or later, the fire would engulf their cries and the day would turn silent again.

A peaceful kingdom was reduced to ashes all because of a newborn prince. The community fell apart and formed its own communes. The community blamed the prince for this massacre. The community believed that the devil inside him had poisoned the king’s mind so that he would find an alternative to save his son. The devil wanted to save itself. The community although now separated, they still held on to their grudges that the newborn was to be blamed for their misery. They brought with them the will of revenge should they encounter the newborn prince again. Meanwhile, the knights managed to bring the prince away from the community’s clutches. Ten of them set off from the castle in a hurry without an agreed destination. Along the way, two of them decided to disband because they were from the community. They committed suicide so that the prince’s whereabouts would remain untold. Five of the remaining died protecting the prince from bandits. With three knights remaining it seemed that they would not be able to fulfill the king’s wishes. One of them was mortally wounded and it looked as if he would not live much longer. He later died when he was asleep. The two left behind decided to honour their fallen comrades by carving their names on wooden planks, built simple tombstones and placing their Eden rooted down to their grave.

The two knights began to journey again. This time, they managed to arrive at a small, faraway village. They decided that this would be their new home to raise the prince till he was old enough to understand that he is the only heir to the throne and the sole survivor of the bloodiest massacre of his kingdom. Both of them find themselves wives and secured a brotherly bond. But neither of them was willing to take the prince to be their son because he was not, blue blood run through his veins. It was amazing that these two knights did not break their oath after so long, after the gloom they had gone through with their fallen comrades just to save this baby when they could have left him astray. Could the baby have the devil inside him which influenced their minds so that he could live on?

The child grew up into a fine young man. He then was told the truth about his past, his family, his people and the most important, his kingdom. The two knights humbly pledged their loyalty to him after raising him up since he was a baby. They told him that the name they had given to him was not real. In fact, it was an adopted name because they did not know his name. Being nameless was uncommon in those days; it was believed that one without name was non-existent. And so he Christianized himself. The knights then began teaching him to wield a sword, to ride a horse, to behave as a royalty, to charm the ladies like a prince did and to speak the way the royalty did. He caught their lesson fast enough and soon he was ready to be admitted into of the royalty class. However, strange things began to occur.

There was one occasion while he was practicing with one of the knights, he showed a killer instinct; he practiced as if his opponent was the enemy he should get rid of. He was stopped in the nick of time by the other knight just before he slashed his opponent’s head. Then, he went away after apologizing to him. There was something growing inside him, something very dark. “Could the legend be true? The priests had foreseen something dark about the king’s newborn. They told me that it would be a bad omen should he survive till he reached adulthood and he is nineteen now. We have got one year left to believe the priest or it will be too late.” One of them mentioned. “Yes, I knew this day would come. I’m glad that the king’s servant gave me this before I left. She was an aide of the high priest and she handed me this Mirror of Soul. She told me that when the time was ripe, I should present this to the boy. This mirror will be able to reflect the boy’s soul. If he is the devil as the legend has mentioned and the priest foresaw, the mirror would not reflect the boy’s image.” He said. The other asked, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could have saved our comrades and get rid of that evil being.” He replied, “This mirror will only work if the boy’s soul is tainted with darkness when he reaches the coming of an age, not when he is still an infant or young. What she meant when the time was ripe was when he reaches adulthood. The king was forced to save his son because the priests cannot be sure that his son is truly a devil. He thought that if he was to kill his son with a slim chance that he was not the devil they foresaw, that would be disastrous for the queen.” The prince overheard their conversation and entered the room. They looked at each other with a glare. The prince said, “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” The two knights jerked up when they saw him carrying a sword in his hand. A shout was heard “The mirror, flash it!”

True enough, there was no reflection. The prince managed to smash the mirror soon after. “Quick, grab The Eden!” Another shout was heard. The two knights prepared themselves to fight. “The priests were right. This is the devil which had caused calamity to our kingdom.” The prince unleashed the darkness he was dwelled in for nineteen years. He laughed, “Do you think you have the chance to kill a devil, mere mortals?” “We took an oath that we would destroy this evil with the Eden, all the ten of us.” One of them replied. Little did they know that it took the ten of them to defeat the devil; that was why the king summoned them all and gave each of them the Eden. The knights began attacking the devil with the holy sword but all their efforts were in vain. He was simply too powerful. They were mortally wounded. One of them rose on his knees and yelled, “Utopia, raise the Eden once again, give us the strength to cleanse this land from evil!” Something strange began to take place. The 8 fallen Eden rose from the dead and appeared around the devil. It was the souls of men who were blessed by the priests before they took off. They were given immortality. Soon after, the 2 knights completed the circle. They raised their Eden and soon the devil was sealed in the sword the prince carried. The 8 souls vanished after completing their duty. The 2 knights tumbled to the ground. “We still need to root this cursed sword in the kingdom grounds so that no one would be able to pull it out. The priests knew that the devil cannot be destroyed; it can only be sealed in an object. The lost souls taken by the devil will trap him so that he would never be unleashed again. We need to get back to the kingdom.” He said.

Though mortally wounded, the two of them embarked on their journey back to their kingdom. The remaining community did not recognize the knights when they arrived. However, when they approached the castle’s ground, it was clear that they were the knights who had helped the king. The community picked up their weapon once again and attacked the knights. One of them decided to stall the incoming mob while the other reached the burial ground where he was to plant the sword deep into the hard, sturdy ground. “You are not going past me!!” He yelled as he was stabbed in the stomach by the community. Finally, he fell to the ground and bled to death protecting his fellow knight. As the other tried to plant the sword, one of the incoming mob, threw a knife and it spearheaded right through his throat. As the community fast approaching, he somehow managed to drive the sword to the ground with all his remaining might. Just then, the mob arrived and began stabbing him with spears and sickles. The Eden slid from his quiver and rested on the ground where he laid dead. At long last, the knights had fulfilled their sworn duties and their oath to put an end to the royal family line should the prince had the devil inside of him. The cursed sword remained stuck to the ground even when the community tried to pull it out, they were unable to do so. They tried digging the ground but it was too hard till their shovels became blunt and bent. It was as if the sword was rooted to the ground, being pulled by the poor souls who died on that castle’s ground. Once again, the kingdom flourished, the community was revitalized and peace started to descend on these lands. This time, they could be sure that no more devil was going to appear again, the prince’s dark soul was gone forever, vanished or perhaps being trapped by the chains of his victims.

Fisherman Horizon...

2005-09-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

His glorious days were finally over. He turned down the offer of being the commander of his country’s army despite having led his battalion to war which ended in a miraculous victory over the invaders. The king was most pleased with his sacrifice and loyalty that he wanted to give him the most prestigious award a soldier could achieve. He refused to accept the king’s offer instead he asked his king if he could just leave since he has carried out his duty as one of his subjects. With a heavy heart, the king allowed him to move on with his life. The reluctant hero left his war suit, weapons and everything he owed from the army. His followers were saddened with his departure after all; he had made a legacy, he became a legend of his country. The townsmen paid their respect and gratitude by assembling along the pathway of the city’s entrance as he walked away, empty handed. They cheered him and sang lavish praises, showering him with blessings now that he had to go. As he stepped out of the city gate, he gave a deep sigh but did not turn back to face his hometown that he has just liberated. It was his personal choice to find peace after he had completed his duty and everyone respected his decision. He set his feet forward upon the scorching earth and never came back.

He endured blinding desert storms, torrential rains, burning sensation from the sun and even Mother Nature did not seem to be on his side. Nevertheless, he finally arrived at the long forgotten village. Situated away from the mainland, the village rested itself in the middle of old railway on a long, concrete bridge connecting his country’s frontier to another unknown region, surrounded by the great ocean. The railway has been out of service therefore, he had to make his own way to the village on foot. When he arrived, he was welcomed by cheerful children playing hide and seek near the outskirts of their humble village. He thought that perhaps he could stay here. With ocean waves hitting the walls of the bridge, fresh ocean waves, rejuvenating his spirit, the warmth from the village folks there was no place like this he had ever known. He thought maybe this was the perfect place to find peace away from his past, to start a new life, to begin writing the prologue chapters for his twilight years. He stepped into his newly acclaimed hometown with a new identity. He believed that the hero he once had been was better untold so that he could lead a normal life in this new haven.

He met many new people, made some faithful friends and of course, he found someone who stole his heart. She was dark haired with pure conscience and kind soul, alluring smile, full of elegance and grace wherever she went. He asked her out one evening to have watch the sunset over the horizon and they rested by the edge of the bridge, sitting back to back with eyes overlooking the reddish orange water surface. They talked while enjoying the scenic view and soon fell in love. It seemed unbelievable for such feelings to develop in such a short time, but it did. Fortunately or unfortunately, fate had decided that they were meant for each other at least for a few years. He was devastated that she passed away a few years after their blissful marriage. They did not even have the luxury of time to have children as they had hoped for. He had just lost a wonderful woman of his life and it was obvious that there was never anyone like her after her death. He remained single in the end. He commemorated her death every evening at the place where they made feelings known.

He would come with his rod and live bait, sat where he once rested and waited for the bait to be hooked by some live fish. It was pitiful of him to be that way. The villagers knew that she was everything to him; to them it was unfortunate that he was reduced to such wretched state. He was a good man without a smooth sailing life. So they left him as he was because there was nothing they could do to bring the dead back to life. He sat alone most of the time. At times, children would come by his side and watched sunset together not realizing that he was actually drowning his sorrows by letting time went by as if the past would be rekindled just by being where he used to be with her. He asked himself, “Is this what peace meant?”

He was alone but he never felt lonesome because he believed that perhaps this was the kind of peace he was looking for. Sunsets’ magnificent panorama which he had never seen before, the feeling simply calmed the rocky past he experienced. The place had a lot of meaning for him and so many memories were left behind in the same, exact location. It was where time just stopped, where he could let his feelings drift away by the serene sounds of the ocean. The serenity he felt was undeniable. He would repeat this cycle year after year. With his twilight year nearing, he realized that he had had a good life despite her loss. He buried his glorious past when he entered this village, led a simple life as a common fisherman, treasuring sunsets every evening and now, he was left with white hairs covering the top of his head. He left his home spick and span, neat and tidy. He knew it was time to embark on a new journey. So he left a diary back at his home. Inside it told his lifelong tale from a boy to a soldier, to a man and finally an old, fragile elderly. He noted how life was like in precise details so that someday, someone who stumbled on it could find peace like he did. He stood on the edge of the bridge and looked at the picturesque sun setting on the distant horizon for one last time. He gave a sigh, closed his eyes and pretended as if his late wife was beside him, holding his hand. In his heart, he told himself, “Peace has guided me this far, I’m glad I came to this place. I have got nothing to lose because I have lived in peace far too long that now I could not repay what it has blessed me with. I know I can finally rest in peace, farewell and thank you for finding peace in my lifetime.” He loosened his grip and he made himself fall to the ocean, knowing that he could not swim. Time just stopped then as he fell from the edge of the bridge.

Children who accompanied him before told the townsfolk that they could see him and his wife by the place they used to be, sitting back to back facing the sunset every evening. They replied with a smile, “Yes, of course, they were good people who have managed to find peace in their lives.” The tale of the old fisherman who embraced the sunsets on the horizon went on and became folklore in the village. Although he left in silence, his tale would still remain in the hearts of those who read the writings in the diary he left behind. At the end of his diary, vividly written, “As such, I would like to end this by entitling my journey as Fisherman Horizon…”

My Treasured Moments...

2005-09-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

There are things in the world which are worth more than money can buy. There are things in life we often forsake. There are things so ordinary and simple yet bring a whole lot of meaning to people's lives. There are things we can find if we just open our eyes and start feeling from the heart. There are more fulfillment you can experience in life if you just treasure every moment...

Inspired by "Drops of Jupiter" by Train.

Imperfection...

2005-09-07T22:38:00.000+08:00

He held his mother’s hand and took a final look at his home from outside the gate. It was where he grew up but now, he has to go; he has to leave the place he had always called home. “Come, we must go or we will be late for the flight.” His mother said. He stepped up to his old, wrinkled nanny who has been taking care of him ever since he was born. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye to her. The almost toothless nanny could not help but to weep as she hugged him for the last time. As the car left for the airport, he took a peek from the back window of his car, only managed to see her slowly fading out from his view.

The airport was packed with tourists, locals and air crew. The smell of smoke choked him on many occasion. He would never miss the sight of smokers all around him and to him; this was like a torture chamber filled with poisonous gas coming from a lighted cigarette. Seeing the pain carved on his face, his mother tried her very best to check in as soon as possible. And he finally could breathe fresh air once again at the waiting room. Having born with an outgrowth that blocked almost his entire nasal cavity, she was glad that her son did not have to suffer from the cigarette smoke. Excessive exposure to cigarette could probably increase the rate of the outgrowth, causing a fatal result.

All around him was passengers of the plane. He looked at his younger brother beside him and asked, “Are you ready? We are boarding the plane soon.” He replied with a nod. Neither of them had traveled on a winged aircraft before, so the first experience of flying proved to be difficult to overcome. Nevertheless, they boarded the plane, greeted by friendly air stewardesses. Comfortably sitting on the seat, he peered out of the window, thinking that this was goodbye for good. With seatbelt fastened, he was prepared to leave as the plane made its way to the run way. The plane fired its booster and heated engine, the pilot controlled the lever such that the plane would be able to make a dash on the run way and finally, piercing its way towards the sky. He closed his eyes in fear that something might just go wrong. When the plane has finally stabilized from sudden turbulences, he opened his eyes with tears flowing down. He was glad that he was safe and sound. It was just that he could not bear to leave his loving relatives, fellow friends and especially his aged nanny.

Such was the distant days he recalled a few years after. Living in another country has brought him a new environment to adapt to its weather, food, rules and regulations but mostly its people. He lost contact with all his friends he made back in his hometown since he left abruptly without giving them any notice so, finding himself all alone in a new ‘habitat’ surrounded by strangers made him feel so uneasy. And to make matters worse, he could not speak their language. He knew he has to pick up the foreign language or perhaps perish since everyone in the new country could only communicate in that language. Considering his age of eleven years, learning a new, foreign language he has never spoken in was a nightmare. He had to endure people’s laughter when he tried to converse with the locals. Well, probably that caused him to have a low self-esteem.

However, if there was something he liked about this new ‘habitat’, it would probably the fresh air. He could now breathe easy since the number of smokers was minimal. His mother was glad that with this atmosphere, the outgrowth would likely stop growing or slow down. This could only mean one thing, the operation would not be necessary. Due to this reason, she thought it would be better to stay here so that he would be better of. No more trips to the specialists; no more breathing difficulty; no more irritating sneezing. That way he could lead a normal life. And hopefully, the outgrowth would disintegrate although she knew that the chances were slim as doctors had prescribed. They suggested surgery to ease his breathing difficulty, thermal radiation to shrink the size of the outgrowth and chemical sprays to slowly reduce the active outgrowth cells. But his parents decided not to follow their suggestions mainly because they thought that a young boy could be traumatized or possibly would not survive the surgery since it involved blood capillaries to be cut off. Furthermore, the outgrowth could appear again even after removal through surgical methods. This was the outgrowth called ‘sinusitis’ which was common. It affected the patient with variable allergy such as dust or pollen, continuous sneezing, excess production of liquefied mucus, breathing difficulty when exercising and sleeping causing more fatigue and the outgrowth simultaneously kept growing as he got older till it would fully block the nasal cavity. Although it was not inheritable, he would have to carry it all his life unless he went for surgery.

A blessing or a curse one might decide, he only knew that this imperfection was already with him since he was born. He decided to move on and let go of the desire to remove this little imperfection. After all, it could be a gift from above which made him to feel inferior in some ways so that he would humble himself. Until he received the calling from above, he planned to live with it all his life, why alter one’s imperfection when it made him more humane, less boastful about perfection, always believing that every imperfection has a perfect reason behind it.

Years passed and he finally mastered the foreign language, enabling him to socialize with the local islanders with confidence. They no longer laughed at his pronunciation or grammar mistakes or even comprehending what he was saying. After years of adapting to a new culture, new place to live in, he began to grow fond of it. Well, not entirely because his hometown would remain in his heart. The thought of the nanny he had lost made him feel so down at times. Though now, he has grown into a fine, young man, part of him still was attached to his nanny. He thought that he could now repay her tireless effort bringing his up from a toddler but he has not heard from her for quite a long time. His departure would probably mean the end of her services and loyalty to the family.

The author wants to remind smokers out there to stop their addiction because for every cigarette lit, not only you will suffer, others like the character mentioned above are likely the ones who have to bear the consequences he did not cause. Smoking is never a must; it is a choice which one can turn away from. So when someone offers you a cigarette, it is always courageous to say no and turn away. You do not need to be a peer to someone who branded you as a coward for turning away because they do not know it takes a whole lot of courage to uphold your beliefs.

Measure Of A Man...

2005-08-28T19:59:00.000+08:00

The others had left the village but he decided to stay put. “They are going to kill us all, we should depart right now.” The village chief said to him. He replied, “She is coming, I know she will be here.” The chief could not change his stubborn mind. He tried his best to tell him that it was pointless to put one’s life just to wait for someone he loved to turn up. The chief was the last to leave the village to escape from the invading barbarians.

The man waited for her by the lake. He was certain that she would be with him no matter what happened. He began to drown himself in deep thoughts while waiting for her. He remembered the time when he first met her face to face. She was painting picturesque scenery of the lake one evening. He watched her from a distance, noticing her delicate hands decorating the canvas with so much passion and tenderness. He approached her and said, “Hi, my name…” She snapped, “I know.” He was puzzled. She placed the brush on the palette and put them aside. She began, “You are always here when I’m around. I was beginning to wonder when you would come up to me to introduce yourself.” He smiled in embarrassment. She too replied him with a rosy blush. Their first meeting was the beginning of a beautiful relationship, it started with a smile.

They met again several times and each time, they got closer. They started to open up and shared their life experiences. Every conversation was filled with joy and laughter and ended with a feeling of lost when they had to leave. But the following day, the cycle kept repeating till a point of time. She was on the verge completing her painting when he was leaving. He walked away after saying a simple farewell. She turned around as she watched him slowly fading from her sight, leaving his footprints on the sandy ground. She rose from her seat and called out, “Please, don’t leave…” He hesitated and froze. By then, she was already behind him. He could see her shadow, standing still behind his back and gave a final turnaround. They stood motionless for a moment as they looked at each other once again. “Please, don’t leave me here.” She pleaded again. “I won’t.” He said almost immediately. They ended that solemn dusk with a comforting hug. He held her tight in his arms so that she could hear his heart beating at a frenzy pace. It gave her a sense of security and warmth that she would never want to let go of. “I will be there for you if you should ever need me by your side, I promise.” He whispered in her ear.

Time flew as if no one cared. However, for them every minute they were apart seemed like a lifetime. And when they were together, they refused to let any moment slipped away. This time, they were alone by the placid lake, undisturbed by the commotion at the heart of the village. She willingly rested her head on his shoulder and let her feelings drift. That look in her eyes and the sound of her laugh made him decide that she was the one for him. Sunset over the distance warmed the evening once again, the waters reflected orange, lucid rays. He told her, “You know something, this argument between your village and mine seemed to escalate faster than I had anticipated. I wonder if…” She suddenly interrupted, “Shhh. We will run away together if we have to. For now, just let’s just leave things as they are.” The long wait had blossomed into a kiss. Perhaps this was what they called as love.

Relationship between their villages turned sour and it looked as if nothing was going to change the fact that they were eyeing for war to solve their dispute. No one was allowed to have contact with the opposing village dwellers, let alone leaving the village. They did not visit the lake after that. And now, he put his life on the gallows by waiting for her by the lake. He regained his consciousness from his retrospection when he heard footsteps resonating from afar. It was her. She did not leave him and so did he. She leapt into his arms with tears flowing from her eyes. Three months of separation was overwhelming for them. The feeling of lost and loneliness was instantly dissipated into thin air. Time and distance had made their love stronger for every passing day. “You did not leave me just like you promised.” She cried. “I always keep my promise.” He responded.

This bliss however was short-lived. Danger was still lurking. “We have to leave now, there is not much time left before they hunt us all down. We are the last ones.” He exclaimed. Just before he began to run, pulling her hand, she stood still, rooted to the ground. “Will we be back here?” She asked. He paused for a minute. He answered in a saddened voice, “Someday, we will walk this road again, we will breathe its fresh air, we will.” Little that he knew, the evening was the last sunset they would ever saw. The soldier appeared with their pointed bayonets. They cornered them to the edge of the lake. The barbaric soldiers did not care who they were. Those bloodthirsty beasts would not be satisfied till they created a haven of carnage. They thrust their bayonet at their abdomens. He held her hand tightly and said, “Stay close to me, I will never let go of you.” They trotted forward again and stabbed them with great force that they were thrown into the lake. Screams of pain was echoing throughout the village, cold, red blood gushed out, over-pouring the lake waters. The water turned red immediately. His arms were wrapped around her as they tumbled into the deeper waters. Water entered their nostrils, blocking the passage for breathing. With much blood lost, they were too weak to get themselves out of the silent blue.

As such, their bodies continue to rapidly descend deeper. Flashbacks electrified his mind, playing the scenes when they were together, just like a roll of film showing a slideshow. He made sure his arms locked her so that she would not be carried away by the current. To her, spending her last minutes in his arms was worth waiting for. They reached the bottom of the lake, resting peacefully till they were deprived of oxygen. And so their tale ended in tragedy. Although this was what they called fate, fate too decided to allow them to perish together in death. Perhaps ‘till death do us part’ may not be proper anymore because who knows, fate might just create another opportunity for them to be together in the afterlife.

This story is inspired by “Measure of a Man” by Clay Aiken.

Grand Finale...

2005-08-21T12:37:00.000+08:00

The arm of the clock pointed to seven sharp. The evening looked gloomy that day with grey clouds decorating the azure sky. He was comfortably sitting at home, all dressed up in black and white. He donned his father’s black Versace suit and checked himself in the mirror before he headed for the evening ball. With shoes polished and outfit neat and clean, he was certain that he looked proper for the formal occasion. To him, this event was meant to mark the end of his legacy so that the future generation can take over his position and reach out to greater heights. He felt it was time to let his juniors shine like stars lighting up the night.

He arrived fifteen minutes ahead of scheduled time. He met his friends who were in the same boat as he was. Smartly dressed with ties, dark colours on their clothes were the haute couture for the evening. The ladies were splendid in black. Elegance if he could call it. Teenagers were transformed into young adults just by looking at their dress code. This was what he had always dreamed of, seeing people around him grow up to be fine-looking ladies and gentlemen. He waited for the invitation to proceed to the hall where the main event was about to begin. As he waited, he noticed the girl who he had asked to dance with earlier on. Should opportunity arrive; he would gladly take her hand and bring her to the dance floor. He decided to wait for the right time for the moment to come in his way.

Later, together with his friends, he walked into the chilling hall where everyone was patiently waiting. The candles placed on the hall front brought about a serene ambience. As they walked further, other guests stood up and applauded for their arrival. Roaring applause and cheers filled the room, lifting everybody’s spirits high. He sat by the dining table reserved for him and his fellow merry young men and women. The guests of honour came shortly were warmly welcomed by the audience. One of them made the first speech of the evening. She featured the history of peer support leaders of temasek secondary school and thanking every single one of the graduating students for their selfless contribution to the school. Such was her speech, accompanied by words of encouragement and praises because this evening was meant for them.

The event started off with a formal dining. The buffet styled dinner was perfect for the occasion. Food served was simply mouth watering and the taste, simply heavenly. He grabbed some food and returned to his seat. He proposed a toast at the dining table after which they began to nimble on the dinner. They discussed about the future peer support leaders, the farewell party and of course, the food. Then, the emcees made a sudden announcement after most of the guests had finished their food. It was time to reveal the best dressed male and female icon for the evening. He was startled. Four names were called out, two from each gender. They were paired up to dance together with more than forty pairs of eyes watching intently on their every move. His name was called out. His partner was not the girl he had asked earlier. He stepped up to the challenge anyway, not wanting to spoil the mood. He was determined to overcome the two left feet he had. His partner was a professional dancer. To him this was tough considering that she had experience while he had none.

He took her hand and made his way to the centre of the hall with spotlight shining over them. He placed his hand around her waist while the other holding her hand. Her arm was resting on his shoulder and with this they were ready to dance. The soft music started to play, gradually amplified so that the whole hall could enjoy this mini performance. Stunning cheers could be heard across the hall as they made their first dance steps. As the dance progressed, she began to take the liberty to lead; after all she was a natural dancer. All he could do was to follow her lead and made sure that he made no mistake. Though being raw and inexperienced, he got everything under control. Cheers lasted for a few minutes, ending only when the dance was over. Then, the guest cheered on again. This was his first dance with a girl with an audience around to see them sway and spin. Being the centre of attention, the pressure was piling up. How glad he truly was when the dance was finally over without any mishap. However, deep inside, he felt regretful that he had missed his only opportunity to dance with the girl he would like to dance with. All for the sake that his dance partner would not lose face in front of so many if he refused to perform with her. He gave up his desire so that everyone could remain jubilant even though he had waited for this chance, and when it came it slipped right through his fingers. Coincidental one might say but he knew everything happened for a reason.

The solemn ceremony began soon after. It was a memoir, a presentation displaying pictures dated years back. This was followed by the chairman’s speech. She spoke spontaneously. She described that peer support leaders are a big group, making a family out of different people with different talents to achieve a purpose. She only hoped that the legacy she had made will be passed on to the future, promising leaders and that this committed family members will forever be one, undivided regardless of differences. She cried after delivering her speech because her wonderful and fulfilling journey as a peer support leader had to come to an end. So did every graduating students and him. Her speech made him moved in a way, making him realize that he had to go no matter how much he wanted to stay close to his second family, to his committee, to his ever-smiling, supportive juniors who believed in him and to the people he regarded as more than just friends. This is a reality that every senior faced, young or old; that the final test of a leader is that he left behind in his juniors, the conviction and the will to carry on with or without him.

The ceremony of lighting the candles soon started. It symbolized the passing of authority to the next generation. The whole audience quietened down. Next up was the presentation of a token of appreciation for every graduating peer support leader. Name by name was called. His name was then called. He rose from the comfort of his chair and an abrupt, thunderous cheer was showered upon him till he received the certificate of appreciation from one of the guests of honour. Never had he imagined that he would receive such heartwarming response. All he could do was raise his hand in the air, a sign of thanking them. Pride was all he held on to as the certificate was handed to him. When he first walked into the school hall for the first time, he had never thought that his last year spent in this school would involve being recognized by the school for the effort he put into this leadership group. This would always be a significant and touching experience for him throughout his whole life. This was his grand finale.

Soon after, the newly elected chairman made his speech in three different languages, English, Malay and Chinese. This was a very entertaining segment for the audience because he was not able to speak Chinese. Nevertheless, plucking up the courage, striving to give his best, he managed to capture everyone’s attention. The audience was extremely delighted when he ended his undoubtedly, unique yet entertaining speech.

The aftermath was all about wild and crazy photo taking session. It was fun. His aim was to share those photos he took with the ones in the pictures. This way, he gave them a part of himself and they gave a part of themselves to him. It was the invisible network of companionship which could only be felt with heart. The joy of youth being teenagers should be spent in this way. This was the part and parcel of growing up one should not miss because once he missed it, he would never experience another. This was the grand finale he had ever wanted, to walk in with a good name and to walk out, leaving behind a good name and footprints in others’ lives. And for girl he had missed the chance to dance with, it would only be fair if one day, they could have eyes on them, dancing in the moonlight, just like in this ceremony so that he could make it up to her as well as keep his word.

This story is based on a real account. The author wants to thank the peer support leaders who certainly had changed his life in a more positive light. He hopes that through this story, every peer support leader will experience such heartwarming feeling when he or she finally graduates from the school as a peer support leader, lifting the school reputation soaring. All the best for the future of Temasek Secondary Peer Support Leaders!

Special thanks to:
Adam, Erni, Shamsydar, Izzati, Nuriman, Florence, Jovita, Ryan, Abishek, Anavil, Michele, Anand, Ruo Ning, Anthony, Aleem, Nikita, Xinyi, Huiwen jr & James.

Not forgetting:
Mr Oh, Ms Lee, Mdm Wan, AV crew, Sec 2 PSL, Sec 3 PSL, Sec 4 PSL, Sec 5 PSL, Shuyu, Firdaus, Caroline, Cheryl, Eric, Wen Bin, Michelle & Marcus for making this event a meaningful one for the author.

This story was inspired by “I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden.

Love Will Find Its Way...

2005-08-11T19:10:00.000+08:00

The time has finally come, it was abrupt but both of them must have known that it was now or never. They have been friends for five even years. Feelings did develop ever since they met but neither was ready to express them. And so they waited, they kept their feelings deep inside. Their friends tried every means to get them together but all of them were unfruitful. It all started at the school bus stop. He was waiting anxiously for the bus to come. When it arrived, she appeared and got in his way. Knowing that she was his classmate, he let her board the bus first, he thought that he should behave as a gentleman even though he was just a tender, thirteen year old boy. Things developed ever since. In classroom, he would look her from his seat. Though he sat right behind her, never did once they had a good chat or a simple ‘hi’. The boy thought that it was all his infatuation. But his perception changed after a trip downtown.

The class went on a field trip. One of his friends told him that someone had a crush on him. First person he thought was her. However, he began to doubt the news. He noticed her from afar and true enough she was not smiling. In fact, she looked sad. From there, he knew that someone else was into him. But he asked himself, why she appeared down; there is no reason for her to feel that way if there was nothing going on between them.

There was a time when she tried to talk to him, to socialize perhaps. But he walked away briskly. He thought to himself that if he were to talk to her, he might end up blurting out what he felt towards her. In her mind, his ignorance towards her equates to dislike. Time went by, he noticed her many times waiting for the bus home and he would lean against a cross-stitched fence, watching her from afar. He did not care if she even bothered to see him or not. He thought that if she saw him, at least he got noticed, if she did not, maybe she just did not know he was there all along. And of course, they rarely talked though months have passed. He knew that the end of the month was her birthday and he got this reliable information from a guy who shared the same birthday as her. On her birthday, the class sang a birthday song to her. And he did give her a present and a simple birthday card. Plucking up courage to give a girl who he rarely talked to seemed odd to his classmates. And this could only mean one thing, rumours about the two of them.

Their friends would tease them that she liked him or he liked her and sometimes both liked each other discreetly. It spread fast, all thanks to him for daring himself to approach her. And this went on till his birthday. He received a note and a pen from her. In her note, she mentioned that she was thankful for the gift she received and congratulating him for his birthday. He was grateful though he never expected a present on his birthday. After all, how would she know about it? A few days after, the class was made to stay back by the teacher during recess. She talked about relationship, advising the students that this point of time, students’ duty was to study first before having a boy-girl relationship. He wondered if she knew about the strange going-on between him and the girl he liked.

He believed that one day; something might just happen, empowering him to say what he wanted to say. Sadly, that day never came. All he could do was thinking about her, watching her from afar, never took the initiative to do the basics of socializing. Maybe that was what he lacked. All these while, he could write things about her but when it came to speaking up; he just froze. It was his feelings that made words harder to be spoken. He was unable to hide it but he wanted to keep it from her. He feared one thing, rejection. He would rather hurt himself inside living in his own dreams that she probably liked him than finding out that she did not feel what he felt. To her, it may sound stupid and totally ridiculous but that was his character. Introverted, cowardly, childish could be what she thought about him.

To him, stealing a glance or two was enough. Sometimes when they bumped into each other, smiles were carved. No special words were spoken, just a grin and some blushes in their faces. Soon after, they would get away quickly, erasing their tracks so that others would not know. However, one day, he decided to take his chance. He was determined to take her picture, so that he would have a part of her when he returned home. He successfully got what he wanted, a picture of her with her father. He placed it safely in a frame and allowed it to stand on his desktop. His friends were shocked when he approached her father to take a picture. They just never thought that he was bold enough when others would give it a pass. He earned his friends respect from then on.

There was once this classmate of them tried to get in the way between them. She was the daughter of a teacher and he heard that she got a crush on him. He was never interested in her so when she tried to have a chat with him, he would find every means of way to get away as quickly as he could. She was persistent to find ways to talk to him and somehow she got the wrong date of his birthday. So when her gift arrived, it was long overdue. He would sometimes laugh when he recalled how she responded when he told her that she got the wrong date. But the most critical moment was when he heard that the girl he liked no longer had feelings towards him. He guessed that it must have been karma for not talking to her more often. He figured that all she wanted was to get to know each other better but the wait proved to be too long.

Another event was when another classmate of theirs had a rather, easy-going conversation with her. He would talk as if no one was watching and joked around to amuse her. It was his rival ever since he enrolled into the school. His rival topped the class annually and he had never got closer to beating him academically. To him, this rivalry was no longer about academic performance but also included getting her attention. But what could he do, just by watching them laughing away from afar, the rumour of her having lost the feeling seemed to be more vivid. Perhaps he was kind of envious that he had never had such a friendly conversation with her all these while. His friends told him that it was just a conversation and he would soon get over it. And he did, somehow as he just ignoring what was right in front of his eyes.

What she did not know was one of his friends actually took the trouble to draw a portrait of her. He too was infatuated. Right after recess, he would sit a distance away from her and with him was his trusted pencil and eraser which he thought would create a masterpiece of her portrait. He truly felt so useless. This guy was not even good with his art and yet was giving his best to draw her and what he was doing made him think that he had actually never done anything special to her. There was once he wanted to buy a flower for her but he held back. All because a part of him was telling him that it would make the two of them feel so embarrassed that they would never be able to face the class anymore if he were to hand the flower right in front of the class on the last day of their primary school days. Although the impact if he really did that would certainly change the course of their future for the better, he just could not bear to put her in a spot to willingly accept the farewell gift. That day, the class took a final class photo which he still kept till today.

He recalled those days when he had time luxury of time to talk to her on several occasion but let them slipped away right through his fingers. How he regretted that. He was determined to change his old ways and start to grow up, stop living in his own world and to step forward and venture to the unknown.

End of the year came and both of them made it to the school of their choice. But, that was when the road started to split. He thought that it was all over, he had wasted so many opportunities to say what his heart wanted to. However, the unexpected happened, time and again after going on their separate ways, they would meet once in a blue moon. To him, it was something he could never think of. Is the world that small? Time flew. He was more open this time, at least able to talk to her. She grew up as well, learnt to treat him just like a friend. He knew that she treated him so differently compared to when she talked to her friends. At times, he would email to her or chat online. He made her laugh, smile, feel curious and more. He even tried to win her heart slowly though it was sometimes too obvious. He had always thought that perhaps only words can reach her. Through words, he made dreams come alive, made feelings known and made her somehow feel attracted to him in one way or another. It was just his thoughts and not reality. In reality, he never knew what she was really thinking. It could be that she was just pretending or did not care at all. She could be just toying with his heart or slowly telling him to give it up. He only believed that she was being honest when she said things either good or bad about him and herself. He trusted his instinct that she would one day felt what he felt. Such was his mere, random thoughts that made him believe in himself that he should keep going. They once promised to tell each other what they felt the next time they were face to face. This time he was confident that they were more than friends, something more than friends which he could not express.

That day came a few years later. They chatted as he walked her home one night. Discussed about life, school, future goals but one topic that hinted him that it was time was relationship. He did not know what made her suddenly asked him about it because all these while never had she come up to discuss about the most sensitive subject for teens. Perhaps she thought that it was his due time; time to let everything go after holding on to keep things sweet and simple as more than friends for so long. She wanted to know the truth and tell her his side of the story. Just before she stepped on her doorstep, he confessed. He told her that all about him liking her since those childhood days were true. He told her that all those gifts he gave were not tools to make her fall for him. They were given because he just wanted to willingly present someone a part of himself. He told her everything. He confessed his feelings that he held on dear to all these while to her. It must have been pressurizing for her to finally learn everything she had to know. She remained silent for some time, allowing time to stand still after hearing what his heart had wanted to express to her. She plucked up courage to tell him what she wanted to say, just like she promised to him. She said, “Don’t wait for me.” Those four simple words were enough to numb his heart and slowly piercing right into his weakest spot. He asked himself, “So, is this what she has been trying to say? Could she have been pretending all these while? Is she telling the truth? Is she really listening to her heart or has her mind dominated her feelings? Perhaps she wants to end it this way? But why did she say that?” His heart did tear apart just like that. But no matter how tried to appear strong, deep down he was bleeding to the core. He just did not expect the worst case scenario. What happened to those laughs, smiles and blushes? Were all of those fake? Five years he was kept in the dark only to be told to quit. He was out of words to reply. At last he said, “Alright” with hopes dashed within that short moment. To her, she might think that he must have got the idea and seemed to follow her desire. But in actual fact, he was felt something was amiss.

“Why would it take her so difficult to say that? Could it be that she did not want to hurt me directly? But how can that be, what is wrong with her? Shouldn’t this end up in a positive light?” he continued to question himself. He asked her to look him right deep into his eyes and tell him that she wanted him out of her life. But she could not bring herself to do it. She must have felt guilt that it brought her so much pain to say it. She tried to appear strong but in his mind, he kept holding on to believe that what she said was never true. He thought that she would probably regretted saying that and would drown herself in her tears as she closed the door, slowly fading him from her sight. It looked as if it was not meant to be another fairy tale happy ending in reality. He finally understood the pain. He left after fetching her home through the halcyon of the hurtful night. One question remained, was it really what her heart that wanted to tell him that he was never had a special place in corner of her heart?

The following night he visited her again. Just like the day before, she appeared cold without warmth. He looked at her and told her, “About yesterday night, you told me not to wait for you. It must have been difficult for you. One thing I learn, if I have to wait for you for another hundred years, I’ll wait…” She remained silent, not knowing what to say. He thought that she probably was thinking something like, “Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you understand? Why won’t you leave? Didn’t you hear what I said yesterday? Are you serious?” He told her, “If you have something to say right now, just say it; just let your heart say it.” But she did not reply. After waiting for some time, killing time in silence, he thought that maybe she really cannot give him the feeling that he gave her. He told her that he shall take his leave since he thought she probably has made up her mind. In his heart, he had hoped she would change her mind as he walked away. Instead she shouted, “All the best.” If only he understood what she meant. If only she knew about the message he left behind on the photo he had always dreamed of, to be captured in the same frame with her, just the two of them. He could not help but to walk away, hiding his tears so that she could walk away without having to worry about him. Though he picked himself up on his way home, the scar remained. Could this be the end of the road?

Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow or the day after, maybe it will never happen. But he knew that somewhere in her heart, she was aching as she watched him leave, slowly fading away, just like the sun setting on the distant horizon, over the ocean. Like the one he had pictured his mind, if only there was an opportunity to spend an evening by the beach with her, watching the sun sending its beautiful rays on the water surface, reflecting a kaleidoscope. That picturesque would certainly make the words he wanted to say more meaningful, more alive as he looked right deep into her sparkling pair of eyes. Maybe the time will come, not tomorrow, not the day after, maybe they have to wait for another hundred years when love has found its way and crossed their fate, to be part of their lives.

Love is a beautiful feeling, but it cannot be forced. Love needs time and maybe this is not the time yet. Love will find its way through time and time only; that was why he would wait till the end of time if he had to. “If I have to wait for another hundred years, I’ll wait for you…” as the words lingered in his ears.

This story was inspired by “More Than Words” by BBmak.

Love Triangle Finale...

2005-07-29T20:33:00.000+08:00

Conclusion one: Wait For Me…
After some tough decision, he finally decided, "This is who I want to spent the rest of my days with, I cannot hope for any better than just being with her. I will choose her." He rushed to his car and sped to the airport. He called her on the way but she did not pick up his calls. He tried again and again. She finally decided to pick up his call and he told her, "Wait for me, I’m on my way. Please wait for me, just a little longer." She hung up all of a sudden and walked away.

He increased his speed as he come closer to the departure hall. He left his car in a hurry and proceeded to the immigration gateway. When he arrived, he searched for her but she was nowhere to be seen. He thought it was all over that he had finally lost her for good. But something unexpected happened. She walked towards him from a distance and stood on the spot, not too far from where he was. He turned his head and he was jubilant to see her. She was dressed elusively in her white dress. He stepped forward and both of them leaped into each others’ arms. "I’m sorry." He told her with tears in his eyes. "I’m sorry too." She replied with tears flowing down her rosy cheeks. Both of them were willing to give each other one more chance to embrace their love…

This ending is inspired by "One More Try" by A1.

Conclusion two: My Angel…
After some tough decision, he finally decided, "This is who I want to spent the rest of my days with, I cannot hope for any better than just being with her. I will choose her." He rushed to his car and sped to the restaurant. Hastily, he entered their favourite place and found her waiting patiently, sitting alone in one corner of the room. His heart beat faster as he approached her. She was well-clad in a white gown, looking deep and straight into his sparkling eyes.

As he sat, he told her, "You truly have fascinated me and to me, it is precious." She replied, "You have given me comfort, just being close to your bring me warmth I’d never want to let go of." He took her hand and smiled. To him, she was the angel he must have been waiting for. He realized that she is so close yet so far back then but now, he only wanted to spend this moment to cherish his time with her. She expressed her true feelings for him and told him how much she loved him from that accidental moment. And her feelings grew but she was too afraid to show it to him. Now, she was more than grateful to finally made things clear right in front of him. Candlelight dinner was what both of them were looking forward for, just the two of them and the flame that resembles their undying love…

This ending is inspired by "Girl in the Moon" by Darius.

Stop Hiding From Yourself...

2005-07-24T13:02:00.000+08:00

He has always thought that this motivational course is useless because he feels that motivation should come from the heart not by people talking to students. But he went ahead anyway, together with his class. The first day of the course started when this man presented himself with confidence and arrogance in front of the audience. He walked for a while, watching each and every pair of eyes looking at him. And then he introduced himself. From the time he started he did not mention that there will be lecturing or practicing just talking and listening intently. He thought, “Alright, we will see.” From the minute he started, his mouth never stops for more than three hours straight, joking around and it looked as if he was digressing most of the time instead of getting straight to the point. He laughed at his silly jokes of course and thought, “Alright, this is different.” The whole day just involved laughter, smiles and joy. His spirits was lifted up somehow but only by a fraction. The mentor told, “I want you to do one thing when you arrive home. Just three simple words, I love you. Say it to your parents, alright.” When he arrived at home, he did not say it.

The second day went on smoothly like yesterday with one particular exception. The mentor asked, “Did you do what I asked you to do yesterday?” Some put their hands up but majority kept their hands down. Furious, he started to flare, “What is up with this attitude? I just asked you to say that three simple words to your parents and you did not even give a damn about it!” The lights in the room were switched off. He continued, “Do you know that what I asked you to do will give so much to your parents. Just think about it, all of you in this room are champions. Among millions of the sperms from your father, you swam all the way to fertilize your mother’s egg. You only have twenty four hours or you will die. And do you know that the distance to be covered in human context it is as if running from Sentosa to upper Thailand? Just think about it, why you managed to fertilize the egg instead of the other millions. It is because you are the best of them all. Everyone in this room, listen up, you are champions. During labour; your mother experience excruciating pain, half of your mother’s feet in on earth, the other in her grave. Every time your mother gives birth, half of her life force is drained out. And the one thing she wants was to hear your cry. She would even sacrifice herself or undergo caesarian so that you will be born into this world. Nine months you give her pain and worry if you will turn out to be a normal embryo. Your father, he worked his guts out to provide for the family. He may not be able to express his feelings, but deep down he cares. Just imagine how hurtful for him when you ignored him, when you cursed him because he discipline you harshly. One day when your father is buying something you like, he met with a fatal accident and time just stops. How will you feel? The breadwinner is gone forever not having the opportunity to feel your love, to receive your apology. You just do not know that parents loved you so much, supported you since you are young and this is the way you repay their kindness, with ingratitude and hate! You will beg and cry and scream out loud should your parents die right now in this moment and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

He cried and cried, hiding his face under his arms, ashamed and guilty. He continued, “You lie to your parents, blame them, complain about them but in reality, you are just giving excuses, you are the reason why you lie, you blame, you complain. Stop hiding behind you mask, stop hiding from yourself! We are all human living in a less than perfect world, so accept it, but do not give up that you are unable to achieve your goals in life. When you take off your mask, you believe in yourself, you give a hundred percent, you ignored what people say about you, you cherish those around you, you don’t feel ashamed, you become who you truly are. So, open up to your parents, to your friends, to your teachers and to yourself. Do what is right and your goals can be achieved only if you persevere, be yourself and you have people to back you up. Parents may hurt us in some ways, but we should move on, learn to forgive and forget, leave the past behind, act in the present and dream about you future, that is life!” His heart just felt as if a lightning had struck him, cries and whines were heard across the room, every single one of them broke into tears, they cannot lie that they are strong anymore, they are weak. They admit their mistakes; they learn to be humble, to feel inferior. To him it meant so much because he has not made the best of his life at least appreciate his parents especially to his father who was working overseas, only visiting him once in three to four months. To his classmates who he thought are just individuals, pretending they are friends. To the people he knew who he has not expressed his true feelings about them. He felt hurt and regretful. He never knew this kind of feeling, neither everyone in the room. It was tears that wiped away their sorrow, guilt, regret and pain. He came out of the room, reborn and rejuvenated. But the real test was yet to come.

The third day came along; parents were gathered in the hall together with the students one late evening. The mentor started explaining what has been going on for the last few days but he did not mentioned that we cried. He then said, “Parents, now I would like some of your children here to come up and give their testimonial about you, their teachers, their friends and most importantly themselves. This is their time to grow up.” Some people went upstage and gave their speech. He sat watching them one by one appeared on stage being honest to themselves with his heart aching. “I want to go and make my parents proud, to tell them that I have overcome my dreadful past and turn over a new chapter in my life.” He finally went up to stage when third speaker ended her speech. He came unprepared with a speech but he knew as long as he is true to himself, the words will find its way out and reach out to the hearts of those who listen to him. True enough, his class cheered him on, giving him the drive to give it all. He knew, some of them would never thought that he would do something like this, courageously address the audience in front of his parents, the principal and the vice principal, the teachers who taught him this year, the other two classes and other people’s parents. This was the moment he knew he did not want to miss out because this is the time to shine, to grow up, to put an end of hiding behind his mask and be himself. In front of so many people, he asked his mother who was only present then to stand up while he gave his speech. He told her how much he loved her. He asked his teachers to stand up as well, telling them about his ambition that he would give a hundred percent for them and to express his gratitude. He then explained about his father, “The symbol that I have chosen is my father. He may not hear me because he is not here today. But from young, I have always looked up to him. He may not show his love for me but I know he will be there when I need him most. He taught me to me who I am today and without my father and my mother, I would not be here today. When I saw this school for the first time, I knew right away that I want to go here. There is something that attracts me which I cannot explain why and in this school I have met dedicated teachers who supported and guided me thus far.” He saw he mother crying. By then, he knew he has made his family proud of him and hundred pairs of eyes will be witnesses that he will grow up to leave this school with ‘A’s written in his certificate. His class cheered once again, but this time the others as well. He felt so high; he felt that he was a changed man. When the closing ceremony ended, his class gathered together to sing a song. The hall turned itself to blend with the night sky. He sang with all his heart, swaying together with his classmates. After which, he searched his mother and gave her a hug that he had never given him for seventeen years. And also he hugged his teachers who made a difference in his life. It was heartwarming, it was when he took off his mask, plucked up the courage he had never known he had and he made every single moment counts to express his feelings. It was more than experience, it was the moment to truth that he would like to share with those people important to him; it was more than he can ask for. He knew that it was perfect and only time to stop hiding from himself.

This story is based on real account of the author. The author would like to thank the mentors of this motivational camp, Mr Ramesh Muthusamy for giving him the drive to believe in himself and Ms Cherie Lim for sharing her life experience and conducting the camp. It is only when we believe in ourselves, great things we thought we never could have done, could happen in our lives wherever and whenever we wanted it to happen.

Love Triangle...

2005-07-24T13:00:00.000+08:00

Dilemma soon sets in. He was caught in the middle, should he go for someone he truly loves who hardly respond to him or should he accept the fact that accepting a new love could probably solve all his worries. He sat on the wooden bench facing the picturesque scenery of the lush, green hills across the clear water lake, thinking on how he can make the right decision.

He recalled the school days when he spent his treasured childhood with the ‘earlier’ girl. He met his first love when they were in kindergarten and they have been classmates for decades. He gave her a box of chocolates during Valentine’s Day, she gave him a fond smile and that was the end of it. The following year, he gave him a stalk of rose; again she gave him a smile, no more than that. There was one occasion when she was bullied by the bigger boys, he stood up and stepped forward despite his frail-looking physique. He was beaten up while she escaped. He threw some weak punches with little impact on the bullies and they replied by outnumbering him, bashing him up so badly that blood smeared on the white walls and canteen floor. Teachers soon arrived and stopped the fight. He came out alive out of the onslaught with face battered badly. The girl approached him the next day after school at the courtyard, gave him a letter and kissed him on his cheek as a token of appreciation. But that was all, and the letter she wrote dashed his dreams of getting closer to her.

Teenage years came by; they were still in the same class. He often looked at her from his seat at the back of the classroom, hoping she would at least turn around but she did not. In class, there was never a communication between them making looked as if they were strangers. Her ignorance made him feel disappointed but deep inside her heart; she has some feelings for him although not as strong as he has for her. Both remained just classmates till he was forced to transfer to another school. She approached him again on the last day in that school. His buddies who presented him with a farewell gifts, made way for her when she appeared on the door front of the class. She handed him a small memento, a farewell letter. He read her letter on the spot, realizing that she finally decided to speak her mind. But, the waiting game and the pain of being ignored and rejected seemed to have overshadowed his mind. He returned the letter to her and told her to keep it, “The time is not right, I need time to mend my heart which you have broken into million pieces.” Despite saying this, he still left a room for her in his heart, no matter what he had said.

He took out an old photo he took with the ‘latter’ girl. He met her when he was transferred to the new school. He got to know her when she bumped into him in the hallway. She offered him a tour around the school realizing that he was a new student. He agreed and from there she became fond of him. He compared her with his first love and he found that this girl is simply fascinating. She turned his orderly world upside down, she spoke her mind about everything under the sun and her carefree attitude made him realize that she probably could be the one he has been looking for all these while. Although he could almost feel it right on the tip of his fingers, he was still attached to the past he was unwilling to let go. And he remained dormant about his feelings.

Often, she flaunted her charisma and tried to make him engage in conversation which she has succeeded. She began digging up his likes and dislikes, found out about his one of a kind personality and enjoying being in company with him. She hoped that she would one day melt his heart and make him stop being a dreamer. Through the years, her feelings for him grew stronger but he never responded in the manner she wanted him to. Nevertheless, she kept trying, giving her hundred percent.

The day has finally come, the day to choose between the two. The ‘earlier’ girl was leaving for London to further her studies, waiting for his arrival before she departed. His arrival could probably change her mind to go abroad. The ‘latter’ girl was waiting for him at their meeting place, a French restaurant, hoping to express her true feelings for him directly when he arrived. He looked at his watch; it was ten minutes to five. Time seemed to be running out and he still could not make a decision, he could not bear to let any of them down and his final ten minute decision would determine his future. Only one of them was going to be sharing the holy matrimony with him after a decade of waiting. After some tough decision, he finally decided, “This is who I want to spent the rest of my days with, I cannot hope for any better than just being with her. I will choose…”

The author wants the readers to pick for him who would be the most suitable wife for the character mentioned above and why she deserves to be his wife. Your decision will conclude this story. Whoever you may choose, the two of them will live happily ever after, leaving one broken hearted.

A Life After Death...

2005-07-13T20:31:00.000+08:00

He stood by the coffin, looking at him with a dampened heart. Beside him was an angel, waiting for him to let go all his desires and to bring him to heaven to have his judgement. He finally decided that it was time to leave although his heart felt as if it was breaking into pieces to see his loved ones mourn over his death. He told the angel that he wanted to attend the funeral before he met his maker. The angel accepted his request and vanished into thin air.

His tomb was well decorated with flowers, the fragrance so alluring yet it brought tears to those around. Everyone was dressed in black, some kneeling, some standing but they all came with one purpose; to say their final goodbye to the man they used to call a friend, a husband, a father and a man whose death was inevitable. He looked at her, tried to place his hand on his wife’s shoulder but he could not feel her warmth. He tried to look at her in her eyes but it looked as if she could not see him. The angel approached him and said, "Pardon me, but it is time to leave, my child for He is waiting." He tailed the angel and left his burial site. "Hold my hand." The angel said. He grabbed her hand and soon he was lifted high above the azure sky. He closed his eyes as he was raised to His kingdom.

The angel uttered, "You may open your eyes now." He slowly opened his eyes and before him was faces he recognized, his father, mother, grandparents and others who were related to him. They were all deceased along time ago and here they are in a reunion. The Almighty sitting on his majestic, holy throne asked him to come forward. He then asked him, "Welcome to my eternal kingdom, my child. You have spent a valuable lifetime on earth with those you loved dearly so I have decided to invite you here and give you an eternal life to stay in my kingdom. Throughout your life, I have noticed your sincerity, your pure heart and your maturity and I am impressed with what you have done on earth. But I sense fear and sorrow in your heart right now, tell me child, why do you feel so?"

He muttered calmly, "My Lord, I have not done much in my life and I missed those I loved. I cannot imagine what their future will be like without me around." He answered, "My child, I shall let you visit your past and your generations’ future and may be you will find the key to unlock all your sadness. And if you passed my test, I shall let you have the freedom to choose whether you would like to be reincarnated or stay here and be part of our holy kingdom." He thanked Him and the angel brought him out of the throne room. "Past, Present, Future… you shall visit all of those realms and watch yourself and reflect if you have made the right decision. These realms are meant for your eyes only and cannot be altered. I shall be with you till you decide to meet His Grace one more time." The angel said to him.

He nodded and opened the door of the Past. As he entered the room, he could see a baby in the crib. Two adults seemed to be delighted and they played with the baby. "You were the jewel of your parents, their first born and your birth brought joy and bliss in their lives." Then he noticed, a boy walking across the room. He searched for a set of colour pencils and a blank paper then began drawing his family. "You loved your parents as much as they did to you." Later, the boy turned to be a teenager. The teenager looked outside his room window and noticed a pretty girl by the gate. He rushed to her and she gave him a letter. Both of them giggled and soon parted after exchanging smiles. "You were adorable and charismatic. Many fell for you yet you chose a simple girl, your neighbour, the girl whom you shared your childhood with." Grey clouds began to overshadow the teen’s house. The teen was crying, together with his mother and relatives by the bed. The doctor shook his head, gave a regretful sigh and left the room. The teen watched his father rested on the bed, there was no movement at all; he last saw him that odious day. "You were deeply grieved by your father’s passing and ever since you began cherishing life while you can because you have missed occasions where you could have at least give your father a comforting hug or just a warm chat." He visited his past event after event and each time the angel comforted him. Upon reaching the door end, the angel said, "You have a wonderful past, filled with innocence and purity. And these are major factors that created the man you will become in the Present. I am certain that your past have shown you what you did not see back then." He nodded and told her that he was more than satisfied to understand what he did or what those events were meant for. His regrets for the past gradually disappeared.

He then proceeded to the next door, the Present. He opened the door and saw his family in the living room. His wife had a sullen expression across her face, his three daughters stuck close to their mother trying to comfort one another. "They look sad, grieving upon your departure. In their moment of loss, there is nothing more important than to mourn." His eyes became teary but he could not feel the warm tear drop as it flowed down his cheek. He then took notice of his tomb. It was beautifully adorned with flowers and people whom he knew visited his tomb to give respect and bid farewell. "You will be remembered by those who knew you, even after your death." The Present had less to offer but at least it gave him a relief to know that his family was not traumatized and he found their bond to be closer somehow. The angel showed him the secrets that his wife and his daughters kept, mostly written in a diary.

"June 23rd, Dad came home late as we expected. Luckily, we waited for him and we saved his birthday cake. We had our first birthday celebration for Dad in a candlelit living room. It was rather romantic but I prefer the chocolate, black forest cake. Oh, happy 47th birthday, Dad…if you happen to see this. Love, Claire"
"May 3rd, Mom and Dad are having their wedding anniversary today. I wonder what they are going to give each other. From what I know, Dad always comes up with something new every year. Just last year, he bought her a mini piano. Mom has always loved playing piano. And guess what, she could play that mini piano with ‘a whole new world’ tune. Oh, I guess all of us are going to take a peek tonight in the living room, I bet it is going to be one of a kind. Love, Lisa."

"December 26th, Merry Christmas everyone; it is snowing cold. It is a great time to build snowman and have snow fight. I’m not going to lose again, Dad. You will not believe it, Dad, last night I had put a plate of cookies and a glass of warm milk by the table downstairs, near the telephone. And in the morning, they are all finished and I found candy sticks in the red sock I hung by the fireplace. Santa must have sneaked in last night. I’m going to catch him next year. Love, Beth."
"April 1st, to my wonderful husband, I have hidden your car key in the kitchen and I am glad you did not find it till this afternoon. You panicked that you will be late for work and desperately searching for your key high and low. Claire, Lisa, Beth and I were giggling away seeing you behave. Revenge is sweet. I hope you learnt your lesson and I will appreciate it if you do not hold any grudges on this matter. Love, Elena."
"To my handsome prince, I have been waiting for you to say ‘it’ for a long time. Now that you have admitted ‘it’, I think our relationship can start to blossom like the rose you gave me a few days ago. I was kind of nervous when I waited by your gate to give you my letter and worried that you would not come. But you did and that really make me feel so…you know, (blushing). Hope to hear from you soon. From your princess, Elena."

He smiled after looking at their writings; he did not know how much his family loved him. The angel said, "Love is a beautiful thing. And I am glad that you have such loving family and you must have felt the same towards them. But nothing last forever, even so, their memories of you will always have a room in their heart. Death is temporary loss, but all those memories will always live." He understood what she meant and continued to open the final door.

"Beyond this door is unpredictable." The angel said. After hesitating for a while, he entered the room, the Future door is opened. He saw emptiness at first but slowly, there was light, then there was life, water, air, plants, animals. He found a fountain by the garden. He walked towards the fountain and looked at the reflections on the water surface. Elena became a widow all her life, had adorable grandchildren and she still looked beautiful even at her old age. Claire married a rich man who loved her deeply. Lisa remained single, working as a vet and opened her own pet clinic. Beth is doing very well in school and received a scholarship to London to pursue law. Yet after decades of his death, his tomb was well maintained and flowers still were being placed. "Their future is bright and so will your next generations. They will walk the path you have taken and all of them will grow up to be just like you. There will always a part of you in all your future generation." He smiled but remained silent. The angel continued, "Let us go, there is nothing left that I can show you." Both of them head back to the throne room where His Majesty was waiting.

He asked him, "It was quite a trip, wasn’t it? My child, it is time you decide. Would you like to stay here and watch your family from afar or would you prefer to be reincarnated to be close with your family? Both ways, you win. You have impressed me from time to time when you are on earth and I want to test you once again and if you pass this test, I shall give you what you seek." He thought for a moment and made his decision…
"My lord, there is nothing I shall want. It was you who brought me to life and it was you who brought me here. The Past, Present and Future do not matter to me, I may have left those I cared for, but I have cherished every moment when I was alive. Now only my spirit remains and what I brought back together with this spirit worth much more than being reincarnated to be close to my family. And watching my family from afar would not gain both my family and I with anything. I would be glad to commit myself to you. There is nothing I shall want, My Lord." He answered.

"My child, you are special yet you are not arrogant, instead you are sincere and willing to let go of your desires. I no longer sense any fear and sorrow in you. You are true to yourself and I am impressed once again. Very well, my child, here is your final judgement. You will be sent back to earth as a guardian angel just like the one who brought you here. You will live an eternal life in my kingdom and shall never be reincarnated to feel pain, shame, guilt, lust, greed, anger, sloth and fear. You will be welcomed to the table of the Last Supper just like everyone here. Go now, spread the good news about my everlasting kingdom and lead the lost sheep back to the Promised Land, where life is everlasting."

There is peace in his heart, mind and soul. He received a life after death, an everlasting life for those who walk on the path of heaven. There is nothing he shall want…

Out Of The Picture...

2005-07-09T13:01:00.000+08:00

He has finally crossed the finish line; exhausted, sweating and thirsty. It was his moment of joy; the feeling of triumph was just overwhelming. Never had he imagined that he would finally make it. He was later crowned a winner, a champion and a hero. But deep inside, he knew it was time to be out of the picture. It was time for new blood to rush down the race track and be the first to finish the race.

He first started as a junior, a second year student, when he joined the team. He was rather quiet and keeps to himself. He never takes the initiative to practice, always waiting for order from his seniors and coach. He felt that his team was in a broken state, uninspiring for many for they had never won any competition. And he became just like his seniors, skipping practices and never tried to do his best. A year was wasted on boring trainings.

By the end of the year, he was called out by his coach. He said, "You have just been promoted to the senior team. Well done." He was shocked. How could a sportsman like him managed to gain entry into the most prestigious team. Without any ideas on what to expect, he walked into the senior’s training session. All eyes are on him. He coldly looked at those brimming eyes and searched for a place to sit down. He remained silent throughout the session. By the end of it all, he has evaluated them; one by one he found a common trait and a strong desire to make things run. A revolution perhaps, but he refused to believe it and he waited till the time is ripe. Another year was wasted well, not as much as last year’s. There was much improvement in his attitude and the way he interact with his teammates.

Then, the juniors arrived. They were lively, outgoing and simply friendly. Being in charge of them, he thought that it was going to last, all their smiles will turn sour and their laughter will be long forgotten. The coach told him that he wanted his team to win this year and appointed him as the captain. He had no choice but to accept the job. He knew it was not going to be a smooth sailing journey till the end. There will be storms, lightings and the ocean’s rage. Nevertheless, he felt something was different as months passed.

His prediction did not come true. His juniors who he thought to be a burden had become the fuel that drove his motivation to move on. They practiced together from sprints to long distance running, rain or shine and what more surprising was that his juniors kept smiling and fatigue did not seem to bother them at all. They stuck by him, listening to his every command and instruction. And they put in extra effort when they trained. This made him worked even harder. He changed soon after. He became more committed, more blissful inside and more confident about what he was doing. After trainings when his juniors had left, he would do extra rounds. Before trainings, he would be one of those who came early. He grew to like his team which somehow changed him to be someone different in a positive light.

Months passed and the competition was finally here. The team was more than ready but there was always some doubts and setbacks along the way. The race soon started. He looked back on those trainings his team had, those smiles of joy, those grins and all the hard work. Two years was wasted and on this moment, he was determined not to let history repeat itself. He led them with confidence as they walked towards the race tracks. The crowds went wild, cheering, making all sort of noises he could not make out. The atmosphere at the stadium was tense. It was the first time he felt such feelings as if chills ran down his spine. When the gunshot was heard it was show time. And yes, he made it across the finish line.

It was a great success that the coach praised him for leading these rookies to have their first taste of victory. It was almost an unbelievable achievement of his life and he knew he owed it to his juniors who lifted his spirits high to soar. The victory was celebrated back at the campus where a mini farewell party was conducted. His juniors were behind it all, surprising him greatly. And a small farewell gift was presented to him. It was a farewell card. It almost brought tears to his eyes but he held back. He just did not want to cry in front of his juniors. It left a special meaning in his heart. He had never thrown his seniors a farewell party let alone gave a farewell gift. To him, this was unexpected and probably the most beautiful thing that had happened to him throughout his time in the school. He could not react that he had forgotten to thank them all. How he wished he had at least thanked them for caring, a significant event that showed that he would be missed but not forgotten…

This story is based on a real account. The author wants to share his past experience with his juniors and his point of view. Plot has been partly altered to protect privacy of those involved in the story.

I Want To Finish What I Started...

2005-06-24T01:49:00.000+08:00

He was given the job out of the blue, not realizing what lies yonder to reach the summit of mount success. He was inexperienced on the job but he has no other option but to take on the challenge. He began making preparation for the big occasion himself. With help from his committee, he planned the event tirelessly and cautiously. And so he started his job with an open mind and a determined heart.

From time to time, he would call for meeting. As he had expected, some would just dozed off and pretend nothing has happened and other simply play dumb, not wanting any attachment regarding the project. He could only make use of those remaining members who sacrificed their time and effort to help him. Soon, he discovered each of their unique talents, one by one. He made use of their abilities to the fullest, assigning them to duties of their caliber.

Soon came the time when students are informed of the big event. Many signed up mainly due to the low fees to pay and interesting concept. The committee was delighted. The committee suggested many ideas to keep the excitement level soaring. As such, during this time, the committee began to gel; a form of bond is formed. It was not obvious but he was sure everyone could sense why the committee has been doing well and members contributing and sharing with the committee. He knew; the next generation of his committee will have a bright future in front of them.

This was followed by negotiations with sponsors and beneficiaries as well as suppliers whom we have chosen to provide us with the necessary equipment. He believed that by letting the juniors to do this job, they would gain some life skills of communicating with strangers and negotiating prices. Not only that there were some occasion where some members have a formal meeting with the beneficiaries. He was accompanied by several members mainly juniors to experience the atmosphere of a formal meeting with some directors and high ranking officers in charge. It was nerve-wrecking yet managed to leave a good impression in their heart.

There were some occasion he would do the dirty job such as buying the equipment directly from the factory which was located at the far end of the island, members to count necessary equipments and collecting fees from the students. Hardly a type of job people would be willing to perform, knowing the degree of difficulty. But he knew someone had to do it, for if it was overlooked, things might just go wrong and the project might be in the danger of failing to live up to its standard.

Months passed quickly than expected. The big day was bound to arrive in just a week’s time. He was feeling rather worried although everything seemed to be running in order. What could have gone wrong? Time and again, he would review his plans, making corrections and adding updates that may alter the whole event. Nevertheless, he was determined to solve every problem that came in his way. He was willing to sacrifice his entire holiday just to make sure things are going in the right direction. Not only that, he even apologized to one of the sponsors for being careless on the task he has given.

Then the tide turns. He learned that his grandfather went ill and has gone into a coma. He was just on the brink of completing the project in one week’s time and this shocking event turned his orderly world upside down. He wanted to visit his grandfather in his homeland but at the same time, he did not want things to go wrong especially during the last, crucial week before the event. He was in dilemma. He wanted to stay to oversee the project, yet he felt he needed to be by his grandfather’s side during his critical time. He could only hope that he came back in time after visiting his grandfather to be once again in a position to be the overall in charge of the event. He told himself, “I want to finish what I started.” after consulting to his teacher in charge.

He could not tell the future if the event was going to be success but he was certain that he would do whatever it takes to make sure that the preparation run smoothly and the event went well. As for the result which was yet to come, he could only rest his fate on the students. The students played major roles that determine the success of the event. They needed to earn at least $8500 on that big day. Only the future can tell…

This is a real story based on the author’s life being in charge of a committee, assigned to oversee the event. This story is written specially to his committee members who have contributed to the progress of the event to come on 3rd of July 2005. The author hoped for one thing from all the school population and his committee, to lend him all your support, mind and heart for the success of this event. He could only promise that he would do his part and he wanted his committee members and school population to do their part. There is only one aim the author wanted to achieve “To finish what he started” since it was his last year being part of the school, the leadership group and being a mere human who has a dream to be realized…There is only one question left to ask, “Will you lend him your strength once again to reach the final lap?”

We Will Meet Again...

2005-06-24T01:47:00.000+08:00

They met by the river. The boy was out to accompany his grandfather fishing. The girl accompanied her mother picking herbs and happened to take a rest by the crystal clear stream. He was on one side of the bank, she was one the other, separated by the wide, flowing waters running down from a nearby mountains, eroding wilderness to reach the ocean. They could not do much but to look at each other in distance. Much as the want to get to know each other, they walked away knowing such thing would never happen now. He went back to his doting grandfather, helping him to look for live bait. She continued her journey with her mother through the woods. They never met again.

Decades passed, he was now a young, charismatic teenager while she became a kind and almost angelic teenager. They met again, this time in the city’s underground train station. They were waiting for their trains on the same platform, not knowing they were sitting back to back. It was when a toddler crawled towards them; they turned their attention to him almost simultaneously. It was then, those childhood visions and memory rekindled. They somehow just felt that this was not the first time they have met. Just as he wanted to ask whether they have met before, their trains arrived. Both stood up and walked towards the oncoming train. He was heading to the East; she was going to the West. They never looked back and once again they were separated.

Years flew by; they met again, this time at the airport. He was walking towards his plane when he accidentally brushed on a young lady walking in the opposite direction. Piles of paper was scattered all over the cold, sparkling floor. He rushed to apologize and helped to clear the mess. She knelt and began picking her paperwork. As he returned the papers to her, he saw a rather familiar face. She too noticed him with a familiar aura. She thanked him soon after. He then apologized again for causing the mess. She tried to ask for his name when an announcement was heard across the meeting area, “Attention to all passengers leaving for London. Gate E2 will be closed in 5 minutes time.” Upon hearing the abrupt announcement, he left the scene hastily.

As he dashed to his plane, he knew it was the same feeling when he met her on his last 2 encounters. He asked himself if it was the same person. To her, when she set her eyes on him, it felt as if it had happened before. She asked herself if she has meeting the same person time and again. But, both soon felt it was just a coincidence and certainly, they would not meet each other ever again. But things turned out differently.

Another year passed. He returned to the river where he once spent time with his grandfather. She also returned to the same river, trying to recall her past childhood she spent with her mother. They met again. He was standing on the one bank, she was on the other. Both looked at each other with a strange feeling. He turned his head towards the nearby waterfall and so did she. They noticed something has changed. There was a newly built bridge across the river. They walked towards it and finally stood on the bridge. They began posing their questions such as, “Have I seen you before?” and “Weren’t you the girl I met on the train stations decades ago?”

They curiously asked each other and revealed each other’s identity till dusk arrived. They were still standing on the wooden decorated bridge, talking happily with smiles carved on their faces. Perhaps it was fate that separated and brought them together all these while.

As they looked upon the moon, they wondered why did fate did not bring them together earlier. All of a sudden, a white horse appeared and took a sip from the river. They looked at it with a surprise. There was never a white horse in the woods. It was just a nature reserve and a horse could not have sneaked in. The horse neighed soon after and vanished. It was as if it had gone with the wind. They thought that white horse might just be their guardian angel.

Their fate is like a road. Sometimes it splits into two but it will always meet again at the next junction.

I Want To Be Your Canary...

2005-05-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

She sat by the balcony of her room and played her tune. It was her violin and her voice that started to fill the atmosphere with beautiful melodies that even doves came to listen. She recalled her past every time she played her violin when she was a young princess hoping to see the world instead of being trapped in the clutches of her royal servants and dominant mother. The opportunity came when a troupe of actors performed a play for the royal family. She sneaked out of the castle with a pure, white hood and somehow managed to escape into the actors’ vessel unnoticed.

She hid herself in the actors’ room when she bumped into him. Blonde-haired and full of charm, he asked what she was doing in his ship. She tried to run but he pulled her back. Later, she lowered her hood, revealing her beautiful face unmatched like no other princess in the whole country. She introduced herself being the heir to the Alexandria’s throne, a princess on the run to see the world outside her prosperous kingdom. She pleaded him to hide her and let her travel until the ship arrived at its destination. He was rather surprised to see her but he willingly accepted her request. He knelt and said, “I hereby would willingly abduct the princess of Alexandria and swore to protect her majesty till we arrive at her majesty’s preferred destination.”

It was not a pleasant journey from Alexandria. The ship endured the frequent ocean’s rage and had to stop at neighbouring harbour to stock up supplies and repair the damages. He accompanied her wherever she went fulfilling his duty. There was once she tried to communicate with the locals however, her language usage was too complex after all she was used to speaking the nobles’. He then offered to teach her to use the locals’ with warmth and patience. She gladly accepted his offer and with few practices she managed to have a smooth conversation with the townsmen. Her quest to see the world has just begun by communicating with those around with the common language they used and she knew she only has one person to thank to.

Soon, her friendliness attracted the thugs who wanted to take advantage of her. But he was there to stop the harm to resume and rescued the damsel in distress. They spent time together eating, talking and discussing about their dreams and ambitions. Soon, as expected, he grew fond of her nature. There was once he told her about his past adventures, the pain he endured and how he overcame them. There was something that kept her hooked on his words and stories. She wondered how such a robust and ocean’s-best-friend man could talk about himself full of truth and sincerity of sharing his doubts on his life and his chained legs to his awful past. Unassuming and being true to oneself, it just was not his usual self when he was around with his fellow actors and friends. Perhaps, it was another side of him he often kept to himself.

All these while, he regarded her not being a princess on the run but as someone he could talk to. He did not care less about portraying himself being in the lower class in front of her. This was all she ever wanted besides seeing the world, and he had given her the most valuable treasure, seeing her as a human, not a high class royalty. Well, her trip came to an abrupt end when she learned about her mother’s passing. And, now her people needed her back to take the throne despite her being just a teenage princess, unprepared to be crowned as queen. She was forced to return to Alexandria and with a heavy heart, she left the troupe alone to find a way back. He found her escaping in the middle of the night, asking her to stay. However, she was obliged to fulfill her duty as heir although she did not want it. Once again, he knelt and told her, “I’m sorry that that I cannot protect you anymore, princess. It is here that I end my journey, your highness.”

He could only watch her leave as going back to Alexandria would be probably his death wish after abducting the princess. She cried as she went away, wishing she had more time to spend with him. She went to the nearest Alexandria’s outer post so that the royal guards would be able to recognize her and brought her back to her homeland. Back on the vessel, his crew told him that letting her go just like that was a mistake. They knew he had feelings for her but letting her leave without confiding his feelings was absolutely a blunder. He told them, she was going to be a queen; soon she might never need him to protect her. The Alexandrians would certainly fight till their last for the queen’s life. Feeling all gloomy, he returned to his room to reflect.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months. He missed her so much that every minute he would sigh. By then, she was entitled as queen, doing what every queen does, to rule the country. Time and again, her memories with him came alive in her dreams. It just reflected how she was drowned in despair. Doing what needs to be done was never in her agenda yet she did her best for the sake of her people. It was sacrificial of her to put her people before herself and her dreams. She knew her late mother had done the same thing and it was her turn to carry on the burden of ruling Alexandria alone.

A few weeks later, Alexandria invited the Tantalus to perform an act called, “I want to be your canary”, Alexandria’s favourite play. It told about a lowly peasant and a princess falling in love only to be chained by the hierarchy. The main actor in black hood appeared as the queen silently watched the performance, paying little attention to what was going on. He said, “Long nights I have waited for this day to arrive, where art thou my beloved canary? Have you forgotten the melody we embraced together?” He continued asking where his beloved had disappeared to for they had promised to meet on that very day, to escape from the castle, to join him on an adventure of a lifetime. Finally, he said, “Is it because of this tattered hood and this hideous cloak that thou cannot recognize? If so, I shall present myself before thee. Where art thou my canary?” He lifted his cloak and hood and stood at the centre of the stage was someone she began to familiarize. With haste, she jerked up her throne and rushed down the spiral staircase and headed for the stage. Upon nearing the stage, her royal pendant passed on to generation after generation slipped out and fell to the ground. She looked back at her fallen precious memento of Alexandria’s treasure. She decided to let it go and dashed to the stage where the man she had been waiting for stood with a smile carved fondly on his face. The pendant was no longer seen as the crowd started to engulf its visibility from the corner of her sparkling eyes. A passionate hug ended the final conclusion of the act. And it would not have been complete without the long-awaited canary to return to where it wanted to be in the first place, right into his arms.

A Hundred Years To Live...

2005-04-15T18:30:00.000+08:00

If I have ten years to live, I would treasure my childhood days before my eleventh birthday.

If I have twenty years left to live, I would spend my days exploring teenage life with its ups and downs.

If I have thirty years to live, I would love to own a car and drive my fiancé around the best places in town.

If I have forty years to live, I would settle down in my comfort zone, see my kids grow up and enjoy life with my wife despite heavy loads of work.

If I have fifty years to live, I would plan for my retirement and my kids’ future.

If I have sixty years to live, I would be standing by the aisle witnessing that my kids are now adults ready for marriage.

If I have seventy years to live, I would have probably spent my old age in the place I have always dreamed of with my wife.

If I have eighty years to live, I would see my grandkids approaching teen life.

If I have ninety years to live, I would have written my will realizing that my health is deteriorating.

If I have only a hundred years to live, just minutes before I draw my terminal breath, I would look back on my sweet childhood memories, on what I have achieved throughout my life, on the people I get along with, on the moments when I find my true love, on the ceremony and oath I took with my wife, on seeing my kids’ smiles, on how much my kids have grown, on the day when I have to let go of my kids whom have reached maturity and adulthood, on the places I have ever want to be with my wife, on realizing how time flies now that I see my teenage days in my grandkids, on knowing that death is fast approaching, on how much I have enjoyed my life fulfilling my dreams now that I am prepared to leave with no burden to carry, on how the people around me will cry upon my funeral despite my relieved smile.

If you only got a hundred years to live, what would you do?

Seven Days...

2005-03-11T19:52:00.000+08:00

She patiently waited for his return. She needed to see him desperately, perhaps due to her lonely heart or maybe it was because her day is near. She would spend her time in her room overlooking the silent, blue waters of a nearby lake. And when the weather was much better and cooling, she would step out of her wooden log home to enjoy the green, open pasture. She would then pick lavenders and other scented flowers growing wildly in the area. After that, she would sit at the end of the jetty and soaked her feet under the cold lake water waiting for sunset to arrive before returning to her dwelling. Each day passed with regrets as her hopes for his return were shattered. Nevertheless, she would regain her determination the following morning to keep on living till she finally met the love of her life.

Her health deteriorated every passing day. First, her toes began to feel numb. It lasted for a week before she lost control of her ability to shuffle her feet. Next, her legs grew weak that she was no longer able to carry herself around the pasture. She was left alone in her room, bedridden. Her loyal servant would burst into tears when she saw her stripped of her favourite pastime. So, she would voluntarily pick some flowers and placed them next to her. It was the least she could do to show her that someone still cared for her well-being as end drew nearer than anticipated.

Her fiancé did come at last. By then, the doctor has predicted that she had only a maximum of seven days to live. He could not believe his ears. He explained that her nervous system worsened and eventually it would affect her ability to feel, taste, and talk, hear, see and think. He tapped his hands on his shoulder, regretting for the misfortune. The doctor left the room and he made his way up to her room. As he opened the door, he could smell a familiar fragrance. He approached her bed and held her warm hand. She said softly, “You are finally here.” He gave her a fond smile she missed so much that she could not take her eyes off him. He hugged her delicately, expressing his innermost feelings. He promised that her last week would not end in despair and pain instead he swore that he would make her last days the most precious moments of a lifetime.

The first day, he showed her an old photo album while spending the evening by the jetty. It was their childhood photos taken a few decades ago from they were in elementary school till they graduated from a university. They discussed the good old days often ended in laughter and blushes. There were times when they wished they could relive the past but they brushed those hopes aside, knowing that the present was more meaningful. They ended the evening with a candlelight dinner prepared by their servant. They spent the night together admiring the moon and stars after a hearty meal outdoors.

The second day, he placed her by the window. He spent hours making her portrait. When he finished, he would smile in satisfaction having completed his masterpiece. He named his art piece “Her”. By then, both of them were exhausted. They spent the late evening making final touches before putting it up in her room.

The third day, he invited a few children from a nearby village to have an outdoor lunch. He knew she must have felt so lonely all these while. Bringing some cheerful and energetic children might lift her spirits high. True enough, their presence made the picnic more fun filled and enjoyable. Laughters and giggles filled the day. And when they had to leave, they thanked them for their time and gave them a candy each as a token of gratitude.

The fourth day was gloomy. She finally was reaching her limits. Noticing her sufferings, he accompanied her. At times, she would tell him how she feared death and that she would be missing him for good. She would weep in agony to ease her burden. He could only gave her a comforting hug just enough to mend her broken heart.

The fifth day, the silence of sorrow arrived. Just as expected, she lost her ability to talk and taste. She could barely hear his words as he spoke. He turned to using a portable whiteboard and a marker to communicate with her. Seeing this, he thought that it was time.

The sixth day, he invited a priest to her home. He ordered his servant to dress her up in a white gown he had purchased. He then proposed to her with a sparkling diamond ring with the pious priest as witness to conduct the wedding. It was not glamorous but it left a special meaning to her. They were pronounced husband and wife that day.

The final, seventh day, he found her lying next to him. Eyes closed, a smile was carved on her beautiful face. He tried to awaken her but there was no response. He knew she had finally let go of her pain and drifted away. He kissed her on last time and grabbed her hands. The wedding ring fell out. He realized that she had let go of the wedding ring and held it between her palms. He cried, now that he had fulfilled his duty, there was nothing he could do.

He could just watch her coffin being buried under the soil. Her portrait was left to be kept as memories. He had slipped the wedding ring into her ring finger before she was placed in her coffin. And now, only memories remained and nothing else. Maybe the portrait was the only item that could keep him close to her. “With this portrait, I believe I would never forget the face that once brought me smiles that not only warms but comforts as well. There will always a room in my heart for you no matter what the time and place, till the day I meet you in the Garden of Eden.”

People may not remember what you did or what you say, but they will always remember how you make them feel…

Treasure...

2005-02-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

They took off in search of treasure just like everyone else in the village. They both carried heavy ransacks on their shoulders. Their petite body seemed unable to withstand the weight making them look as if they were going to topple any moment. But they continued walking. He told her, “Let me know if you need to rest.” She simply smiled at him. The team of two had been good friends from young. And here they are pursuing treasure in the big unknown. For him, that treasure would certainly turn him into a noble, for her, it would change her wretched life into luxury. Both had promised to divide the grand prize equally, but of course, promises are bound to be broken.

Their destination was unknown for their only clue was ‘glittering crystals’. They searched deep caverns in the jungle, crossed endless desert and climbed every mountain but to no avail. All they had seen were either bland rocks and stones or clear crystals that were not glittering. It had been a week away from their comfort zone and hopelessness seemed had worn them out. But when they thought of the obstacles they had overcame, they saw no reason to go home empty handed for all their effort would be unfruitful.

As they crossed a deep valley, he asked her, “We may never find that treasure, so why are you still following me?” She replied, “After you saved me in that cave, I somehow feel secure around you. And who is going to cook dinner if I am not around?” Both laughed their hearts out and continued walking. They braved storms and heat together, had breakfast, lunch and dinner together but their relationship remained still as good friends. When they reached another plateau, it was already nightfall. They prepared their beds without realizing that something were watching them, waiting to strike when the time was ripe. As the flame soon died out, they crept out of their hideouts and approached their meal. They came in packs and their saliva began to drool out as they got nearer. Their empty stomachs were growling for they had not had a feast for quite a while. And when this opportunity arrived, they made no hesitation to satisfy their unbearable hunger for food.

Just when one of them began to prowl on him, he jumped out of his bed and with him was his trusted companion, a dagger. The fight for survival between man and beast had just begun. Meanwhile, she was sleeping soundly, safe from the pack of wolves. The following morning, she crawled out of her bed only to find him sitting on a giant rock. As she got closer, she could smell something was fishy. She found him, mending his wounds. There were bite marks, cuts and blood streamed down his arms and legs. His eyes seemed to have lost its luster. She did not know what had happened until she noticed a pile of dead wolves behind him. Astonished, she helped him mend his wounds hoping that it could ease his pain.

She nurtured him back to fitness. She fed him daily and removed his bandages when they got worn out. She showed much tenderness and concern that they slowly moved his heart. Never had he seen her in this way. She found him very brave to have protected her from the wolves putting his life on the line. He could have run away and hide but he did not. His courageous action had stolen her heart. Nevertheless, they tried not to show it. Perhaps, they felt that being good friends for ages, all that remained were childhood memories and nothing more.
It had been more than a month now and he had fully recovered from his injuries. They had arrived in a small town. They asked the town folks about the ‘glittering crystals’, hoping they could get more clue. They shook their heads. Finally, the two approached the town chief. He told them, “Come, let me provide you with a place to spend the night. It can be very chilling out here.” The hospitality they received was overwhelming. He served them with a hearty meal together with his family members. They sat down on the dinner table and for once in more than a month, they had a proper meal. It was after the wonderful dinner that he invited them to the basement. He showed them an underground tunnel and led them to a dead end. Their only guide was a small candle that barely lighted their path. When they arrived, he told them, “I believe this what you have been looking for.” He raised his hand and on the walls of the dead end were the ‘glittering crystals’. It radiance was magnificent. Finally, their dreams had come true. He continued, “You may take them if you like. These are worthless treasure I found a year ago.” They were shocked. He explained to them that rumours had spread far and wide, exaggerating the news of those glittering crystals. In fact, many who believed that these rocks were priceless risked their wealth and lives. And they came home torn, tattered and empty handed. Disappointed, they headed back to his house.

The following morning, they thanked the town chief and left his fine cottage. They arrived at a bridge and stopped for a while. They looked at the clear water of the stream and sighed, knowing that all their efforts had summed up to nothing. He began, “Well, I may never become a noble but I guess; I still have you around.” She turned to him and uttered softly, “Yeah, I feel the same way. Having you around is enough treasure for me.” They smiled fondly at each other, knowing that after all they had been through; they had finally found the ‘glittering crystals’. They were their eyes that sparkled with burning passion. He put his arms around her and she quickly replied him with a comforting hug. Perhaps, some treasures were not meant to be found in this world but they could be found in one’s eyes, smile or heart. To them, having each other’s companion is the greatest treasure they had ever found.

The Scar...

2005-02-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

He spent his days in the small, peaceful town by the sea after that incident. He lived alone in a comfortable house, just with enough warmth when winter arrived and had a decent job as an angler, something common among the town folks. His companions are his fishing rod, live baits and a box of lunch he prepared himself when he was out at the pier. He would usually return to town with a sufficient amount of catch and would be paid meagrely after all his effort however, he never complained. For an ex leader of the republican army, this life seems to be humiliating. But, from his eyes, one could tell how peaceful he was now compared to who he used to be then.

He was an orphan. Being the eldest in the orphanage, he often bullied the younger ones. There was one particular boy that he despised. Not because he opposed or challenged him, he just ignored his sarcasm and taunts. This made him irritated and he kept on telling him names and throwing harsh words. The boy could not care less and remained ignorant, treating him as if he was invisible. When he got rough and tempers flared, the matron would come in the nick of time to prevent such violence from occurring.

The two of them had not changed even when they were transferred to a military academy. He had grown up to be a respected leader of his unit while the boy had become a loner. His arrogance and predatory instincts made almost everyone in the academy fear him. While he had many followers, he only had two who he could call his posse, his assistants. They would stand by him whatever the cost, supporting him all the way. The three were named the leaders of the discipline committee who made every students obey their orders. But as usual, the loner would ignore them. He became a skilful combat specialist with exquisite abilities. Perhaps he was the only one who could match the head disciplinary committee in terms of fighting capabilities.

Somehow, the two could not remember anything about their past. Maybe it had happened far too long, but his heart would boil without any particular reason when he stumbled upon the loner. He would then start picking on him and often challenged him to a ‘training match’. Both were stubborn and refused to be branded quitters and indeed, they once had a match. Both swung their swords creating sparks and it was as if the titans had clashed. The loner had the upper hand, being cool despite the heated battle. While he was driven by hatred and frustration, making every swing of his sword seemed easy to be either dodged or parried. In the end, he resorted to cheating by using a blinding flash. He loner was down on his knees, he took the big opportunity to slash him and blood spurted out from the loner’s forehead down to his left cheek. Without much hesitation, he countered his blow with a swift uppercut slash that cut his opponent’s flesh from his right cheek up to his forehead. Both was not severely wounded, but those two slashes left a behind a scar. Both were reprimanded for their foolish actions but they never learnt the lesson.

Years flew by; he became the leader of the republican army while the loner became a mercenary for his academy. The loner’s popularity flourished when he took over the position of the academy’s co-ordinator despite his young age. When war broke out, both were fated to face each other again. This time, it was a battle for life or death. Both raised their swords and once again history repeated itself. Hatred contaminated his heart while he made every slash, every thrust, every strike and every blow. The loner eventually won the battle. Worn out and exhausted, he pleaded him to finish what he had to do. The loner lowered his sword and walked away. To him, his defeat was enough to settle the war. Humiliated, he regarded himself being an ultimate loser. He vanished after the war, so did his posse who had been beside him all these while.

He ended up in a small, peaceful town by the sea, away from the mainland. His two friends stayed in the same town as well. After his defeat, he became sane and repentful. He did not apologise to those who he had hurt, but he accepted all the mockery he received and turned more humane. During weekends, he and his friends would fish together, challenging one another to catch the most fish. At the end, of the day, they would have them for dinner. As he looked at his reflection on the mirror-like water surface, he noticed the scar. It reminded him of his past mistakes and how he wished he could turn back the time. The humiliation would soon be forgotten but the scar would remain carved on his face. It was not the mark that it left behind; it was the one who left the cut. It went the same for the loner; the scar would never be erased from their memories.

Piano...

2005-02-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

He walked down the same staircase and would sit at the same corner of the tiny, little bar. He would order the same drink and waited for the star of the evening to show up. At eight o’clock sharp, she would turn up with beautiful gown and proceed to her nightly job. He would then look intently at her as she heads to the chair on the stage. The bartender would notice the same happenings again and again. Never had the two be late or absent at their usual places every night. Also, never had he seen them together to have a casual conversation. Perhaps, it was due to the different worlds they lived in. He was just a common soldier while she was from the middle class.

As she sat down, she breathed deeply before placing her fingers on the teeth of the grand piano. Then, when she was ready she would begin playing, creating a romantic atmosphere. He would listen to her piano tunes with each note leaving footprints in his heart. And when she was done playing, everyone would disperse from the bar. He too, left the bar with heavy heart even though he wanted to listen more or maybe got to know her a little better. One fine night, his two friends accompanied him to give moral support and encouragement. He was prepared to at least approach her to say ‘hi’ while she was playing.

And they sat together where he usually sat, ordered the same drink and waited patiently till she arrived. When the clock stuck eight, she turned up with a splendid maroon red dress and began playing the piano. He plucked up courage to approach her to the stage. His two friends watched him with proud look on their faces. When he reached the stage, he stood by the piano thinking that he was now so close to her. He thought if this was just a dream to be standing right in front of her. Perhaps he was just nervous. Suddenly, his leg got cramped up. It hurt him so bad that he could barely walk. He nodded his head to her and staggered back to the sofa. On his mind, he could only despise himself for being such a loser, to have a cramp when he was about to talk to her for the first time. Upon, reaching the sofa, his friends comforted him, “Mission accomplished.” He could only bend his back with his head facing the marble tiled floor. He kept regretting what he did but his friends remained in silence. Then, one of them replied, “Uh, I think we should go now.” He was shocked when he said that, “Where are you going guys?” And they went away.

All of a sudden, a soft voice called out, “May I sit here?” He turned his head and with a puzzled look on his face and allowed her to sit next to him. She began, “You are always here watching me playing from afar.” He said that he could see her from that angle. She giggled softly and asked him again, “How is your leg?” He replied, telling her that he felt much better now. In his mind again, he thought, “Man, this must be a dream.” She realized that he was rather nervous and told him, “You do not need to be nervous around me…Perhaps, we could talk in my room, there are people here.” He was astonished in the beginning but agreed to her suggestion.

They went to her room and continued with their little conversation. They discussed about their dreams. He mentioned how much he love travelling and write about places he have been to. She pointed out that she wished to be able to play the piano and sing at the same time. After a long discussion of encouraging each other, the room became still. She said to him, “There’s something about your eyes. It is as if that sparkle reflects peace and who you truly are.” He smiled fondly at her. Love is in the air. They just stood facing each other without uttering a single word. Words could not describe what they felt. All these while, she had noticed how he would be there at the corner of the bar, watching her with eyes that were so peaceful. She knew it all along and waited for him to make the first move. He might be just a common soldier but he had eyes of a true gentleman. He left the room after some time, thanking her for the conversation and promised her that he would visit her again someday. After all, he had to leave for war the following morning.

Ever since, he had not returned. It was known that she had patiently waited for his return but the wait proved to be too long. She grew to depression when rumours about his death descended. She ended up married to a local general who comforted her in her desperate times. However, she died in a fatal car accident soon after giving birth to a lovely daughter. During the war, he was mortally injured and was stranded in another continent. He survived thanks to a fine lady who found him and nurtured him back to fitness. He had never heard the news of her death and thinking that he would never see her again, he decided to spend his days at the small village. He did fall for the fine lady as time went by; his love for her was requited.

Tragedy struck twice, he was away in search of his kidnapped adopted niece when his wife passed away while giving birth. Neither the mother nor her child survived. And when he heard of the remorseful news, he could only build a tomb for his wife. It was plain but somehow gave a blissful feeling. It was the only tomb placed in the open lush grassland. Annually, he would visit her resting place and placed her favourite flowers. He would then glance at the engravings of his wife’s tomb, recalling those happier times when he plucked up courage to propose to her at the same place where the tomb stood. How he regretted that he could not be by her side when she drew her terminal breath. He left no tear behind because he knew she would always live in his heart and memories. For him, that would be enough.

The Benchwarmer...

2005-01-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

“But he is just a benchwarmer.” The coach of the team said. When this freshman arrived in the school for the first time everyone quickly recognized him. By the first day ended, even the janitor knew his name. Everybody talked about him behind his back, after all he was rather different from the rest and no club would take him in. He carried heavy books everyday, passed the same hallway and everyone would stop to make way for him. In class, he was always watching the empty field. The teacher often reminded him to pay more attention in class. He did listen but soon got distracted again.

He had a test that day, a difficult one that many were struggling to answer as many questions as they could. When the time was up, others sighed deeply thinking that they had flunked. The thought of even passing never came in mind. The following day, the teacher returned the test papers and true indeed everyone scored badly, no one passed except for this genius, the new student who scored 99%. Everyone was astonished. The boy apologized to the teacher that he would pay more attention in class so that he could give him a full marks in the next test. The teacher understood, knowing that an imperfect person would aim to give his 100% in whatever he did.

The following week, he attended the club which he had signed up for. It was football. The coach tried to change the boy’s mind but the determination he showed melted his heart. He sympathised the boy and gave him the school jersey. The boy was overjoyed to be given an opportunity but his teammates groaned in upset thinking that the new boy would be a huge burden. The next day was the first training of the year; the boy was punctual in full jersey. The coach approached him and asked him to wait near the water tank. He waited patiently there as he watched his other teammates had a friendly match. The coach sat next to him and said, “Kid, when your teammates come here, be sure you give them each a cup of water.” He simply nodded. He thought that he would be playing that day; he guessed that he might have to wait a little longer. Trainings after trainings, he would wait by the water tank, doing his duty without fail. He never missed a single session because he thought that he might be playing anytime. But that dream faded away.

Two painful years he waited by the water tank and he still had not missed any training, rain or shine. The coach never gave him a chance to play. Finally, the team captain empathized with the boy and asked his coach, “Coach, I have looked into the monthly attendance, only one had not missed any training this month.” “I know, he had never missed them in 2 consecutive years.” He replied. “I suggest we should let him be on the field to play with us, after all he is our teammate.” The captain commented. “But he is just a benchwarmer.” He said. “Will you just let him touch the ball at least?” The captain suggested. The coach had had enough and he gave his permission. The captain asked the boy to go to the field. Delightful by what he said, he rushed to the centre of the field. There, he was given a ball; the captain started socializing with him after 2 years of just thanking him for the water he handed when the team went for a break. The other team members looked at the boy in disgust thinking that he finally had poisoned the captain’s mind. Ever since the boy joined the team, they had lost the first round of the neighbourhood competition. And they blamed the boy for being a jinx.

The boy’s relationship with the captain grew stronger each passing week, they were like brothers. The captain was protective of him as he would not let anyone in the team humiliate him for being a benchwarmer. Summer Open arrived, the last event the team had hoped to win for the season. The coach was absent that day and the captain took charge of the team’s strategies and the starting line-up. The boy was sidelined and the match started. By half time, the opposing team had scored 3 goals while they were still unable to find the net. Feeling dispirited, the team lost their hope to win the competition. Just then when they were looking for inspiration, the boy made his presence known by cheering the team up. He said that they can still win the match but none listened to him including the captain. Then, he said, “I don’t have much time, so do you,” and handed a note to the captain. The captain was shocked that the benchwarmer managed to draw up a complex strategy. He browsed the notes for a while, made few substitutions and returned to the field once he explained the new tactics to his teammate. The boy returned to his post waiting for the magical moment to arrive.

A minute the match restarted, the captain dribbled the ball past opposing defenders and struck the ball hard enough to reach the net and the team had pulled one back. It was a sheer magic. The players’ morale were boosted significantly that near the end of the game the 2 teams were level. And it was in the last minute that a swift counter attack allowed the team to turn the tide of the game as the boy’s team was ahead, just seconds away from the final whistle. The shrill of the whistle marked the end of the game and the winning team jumped around in excitement. The captain was hailed as a hero by his teammates. He then humbly denied that he was the hero and mentioned that the boy deserved that title. He told his teammates that he had followed his instructions and it had turned the flow of the game. His teammates felt guilty that they had ignored him all this while and yet he provided the winning formula for them. They decided to thank him personally but he was nowhere in sight.

The following day, the team decided to celebrate their win with the boy but he was absent from training for the first time. It was just unusual that he would be absent for training. The coach arrived and they asked him about the boy’s whereabouts. He took a deep breath and uttered, “He called me yesterday to inform me that he was not feeling good. He also told me that the team had won the match. I was delighted.” The captain asked him, “So where is he, where is our hero?” The coach replied, “Today, I was informed that our young hero had passed away silently in the hospital. I learnt that he was diagnosed with a terminal disease.” Everyone was stunned as the unsung hero had drawn his final breath.

Now, there is always an empty chair next to the window where the boy used to sit. Ever since, there was no one sitting by the water tank. Everybody in school wondered where the imperfect boy had gone to. Then, when the yearbook was issued, he appeared again but this time he was in black and white photograph. It says, “In memories of the wheelchair bound boy. Entered Dawnfield High School and was a member of the football club for 2 years. Helped to win the school’s first trophy in 5 years and was hailed a hero by the football team. Won the top student award in the first year with an A+ in all subjects and received a sum of $50,000 for winning the top prize in the young writer of America competition in the same year in which he had donated all of them to an organization that caters for the children who suffered from long life illnesses. When asked why he donated all his money to this organization, he said, “I don’t have much time left but these children still have a future ahead of them.” Diagnosed with a terminal spinal disease and leukemia since birth, he persevered throughout his life to be perfectly normal just like any human being and helped those who are less fortunate than he was. Upon his death, he asked for his healthy organs to be donated. Later, he was awarded the only Nobel Prize given to youth for humanity. May he rest in peace; for a kind hearted soul, there will always be a place in heaven.”

The coach said to himself, “He is not just a benchwarmer after all,” as he closed the yearbook.

A Night To Remember...

2005-01-09T04:13:00.000+08:00

Tonight was his last opportunity to know what dwelled in her heart. Smartly dressed in a glossy tuxedo, he appeared at the entrance of the grand ball. He put on his mask to cover his face, hiding his identity just like the invited guests. It was a masquerade, a party to celebrate tomorrow’s big event, the wedding ceremony. The sparkling floor was filled with couples dancing accompanied by the rhythm of the music. He looked around to spot the woman he was looking for. He thought that the bride-soon-to-be was not going to show up soon. He took a glass of wine and separated himself from the crowd to the balcony, overlooking the lake. The night seemed so right, starry and the moon shone brightly. He took a sip and sighed. He knew he was a fool not telling the woman who turned his life upside down; his true feelings and now, she was going to be somebody’s wife.

Meanwhile, the woman was in her room, browsing an old photo album. She could recall the faces in the album and on the last page she found her photo with the man of her dreams. She remembered how tender the relationship they used to share. But she did not have the courage to tell him how much he meant to her. She could barely smile as she was going to marry someone she did not love. She walked out of the room into the balcony and sighed as she enjoyed the simmering water of the nearby lake. She did not see a reason why her parents wanted her to marry so soon especially to a man who was a complete stranger.

The time had come, the music stopped and everyone stopped dancing. They moved away from the dance floor and lifted their heads high to the second floor corridor. There, stood the lucky bachelor. They looked at him with awe, he was prince charming. The man entered the dance floor and stood amongst the crowd at the front. He took a sip again and waited. The woman put on her mask and headed out of the room, leaving the last page of the album open. As she neared the staircase, she noticed that hundred pairs of eyes were on her. The prince helped her as they stepped down to the dance floor. He thought that she looked splendid in the white gown she was wearing. The prince then walked her to the centre of the floor. He began addressing the guests telling them what a joyous occasion that night and he was glad that everyone was present to witness.

He uttered confidently, “My fellow guests, I am pleased that we are all gathered here to witness the moment of truth. I would like all of you to take off your mask for the time being as there is a surprise.” Everyone followed his command except the man. The crowd soon moved away from the masked man, allowing him to stand out of the crowd. The woman saw this and she tried to figure who he was. The prince then said, “You can take off your mask now. You need not hide your heart and yourself anymore.” The man was rather stunned. Finally, he unveiled himself in front of the woman. There was a deafening silence in the room. The prince addressed the crowd again, “Ladies and gentlemen, here stand the couple we have been expecting for.” Both of them were dumbfounded.

The man walked slowly towards her and he said, “I don’t want to lose you ever again so I am going to tell you what I wanted to all these while. I need you because I love you…” The woman replied, “I love you too with all my heart.” The lights dimmed and the music started playing soft music. Only the centre floor was lighted, the man and the woman held each other’s hands and they began to dance. It was rather romantic as every guest lighted their candles to light the room, creating a passionate atmosphere. No words could describe the couples’ feeling as they were dancing slowly with elegance. She whispered, “I don’t want tonight to end.” The man softly replied, “Me too. Tonight we celebrate our everlasting love.” The lovebirds kept dancing through the night not wanting time to separate them from each other again.

Some Things Can Be Expressed Without Being Spoken...

2005-01-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

He was finally ready after all these while. He reached deep into his pocket to make sure that he had not forgotten to bring it along. He took out his hands with a faint smile. Though his mind was filled with uncertainty, he remained calm and preserved. He then looked over to the vast ocean, fascinated by its wonders. The azure sky had turned red but the boy still stood on the wooden jetty with his elbows resting on the railings. Many had noticed the boy’s strange behaviour after all he had been there for three days enduring the sun’s blaze and the pouring rain without food or water, not even moving away from the spot he was standing on. Judging from his dried and crumpled clothes, many would have ignored him. But when approached by a concerned stranger on the fourth day, why he had been standing there for so long, he weakly replied that he was waiting for someone. Surprised, the stranger walked away. The stranger then looked back wondering if he had spoken the truth. True enough, the boy still set his eyes on the calm waters.

The determined boy kept standing even though his legs were tired. He did not mind the pain; only one thing remained in his head, to keep waiting until she arrived. Time soon corrode his strength to hang on, the boy spent his fifth day sitting down this time with his back facing the blue sea. Hunger, thirst and fatigue had drained all his stamina, but he persevered. He then noticed drops of water falling from the dark, grey sky on the jetty’s wooden planks. He thought that he had reached his limits and he might topple anytime sooner. He was worried that he would not be able to see her that day after all he was at the brink of his defeat. He tried to save some energy by shutting his eyes and listened to the rain. The heavy downpour once again drenched him but he did not bother much.

He then heard the rain was getting softer somehow and felt that no more water fell over his head. He breathed in and slowly opened his eyes. He gave away a fond smile soon after. He had an umbrella over him, shielding him from the piercing raindrops. He weakly got up back on his feet as he searched down into his pocket. Unknown to him, it had slipped out of his pocket as the tried to stand up. He was searched frantically to find it but to no avail. She then turned him around and looked at him in the eye. She placed her smooth hands on his wet cheek and tears flowed. He was finally face to face with her after these long years. He replied by looking deep into her eyes as if he was looking straight into her heart. After a minute of comforting silence, he hugged her in relief and overflowing joy. Now, he was certain. Even with words left unspoken, they understood each other. She let go of her umbrella and the rain drenched both of them. The hug provided warmth that defeated the chill of the shower. Love had revived his broken spirits and love too had made her realize which was more important to her. He kept her in his arms, not wanting to let go and she hoped for the same too as the rain accompanied them.

New Season...

2005-01-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

As a new chapter draws near, I begin to realize that this year it is the time to shine. Because this year, it is the last season I am going to spend my life in the school that I have opted for. I do have regrets for not trying to establish a badminton club in my school but I guess; things happen for a reason. True enough, I have enjoyed my life in this school even when the odds are against me. I have met new people who I can call friends and experience the ups and downs of a student in a typical government school.

The First Year: Participating in the National Parade came unexpectedly when I enrolled. Nevertheless, I braved the heat and the exhausting practices to put up an excellent display on August, 9. After the overture of the Parade, we partied like we have never partied like before. We felt a sense of accomplishment and we thought of letting go of our hard work by enjoying ourselves.

The Second Year: One of the highlights was my performance in the final examinations which came to be a surprise. Good grades overall scoring 90+ in History and Geography. I think the credit should go to the teachers for pushing us beyond our limits. This year too I became a PSL which I have never thought of becoming one. Therefore, when given this opportunity I gladly took it without hesitation. Not only that, I have been chosen to become a Senior PSL too without prior knowledge. My only clue was when Eric said, “We have senior meeting today.”

The Third Year: Many happened this year. The Pahang trip was exhilarating. It was the first time I visited Malaysia and deep in the middle of nowhere. Surrounding us was just thick forests, small villages and oil palm plantations. It was during this trip I became closer to nature and it was a good opportunity to test my resilience to live 3 days without much electricity and far away from the comfort of home. This year too I won the inter house badminton competition, perhaps my only achievement throughout my life here. Well, a medal for safe keeping was worth the effort.

As a new chapter is about to unfold with its pen all ready to write history, I guess I am prepared to face the unpredictable future. It may have come soon than expected but as long as blood still run in my veins and my heart still beats, I shall take on the thorny path with perseverance. Even if I am at the brink of defeat and have reached my limitations, I will not give up. Perhaps I may stumble and fall, but I will get up back to my feet as long as there is hope. Even the tiniest flame of a candle can overcome darkness and guide its master to find his way out eventually.

Rendezvous With A Long Lost Friend...

2004-12-31T04:29:00.000+08:00

My trip back to the place I was born was truly memorable. Six long years I have been away, many things have changed, Jakarta has become more modernized. Although, there are still poor city dwellers living by the murky canals, with zinc rooftops right above their heads, their only shelter from the scorching sun and the rain. Their shabby homes are enough to protect their family from the ever hungry mosquitoes at night. During daytime, the family members will go to work, even mothers and toddlers. The head of the family would earn the most money by working on the roads selling newspapers or helping cars to cross a jammed junction. The mothers and toddlers would stroll down the rocky, damaged road waiting for the red light. Once it is on, they would make their way, begging for a small donation from the rich road users. They can only survive from the sympathy of these people. Even with 100 rupiah (about 5 cents Singapore currency), they will gladly accept it and so they go again to the next car. They will stop begging once the green light is on. They will step aside, waiting for the next red light. Both mother and toddler are exposed to the dusty winds and the poisonous exhaust gases from the vehicles but that did not bother them. Then there are roadside sellers who barely earn a profit from the goods they sell. During a good week they would gain about 10,000 to 30,000 rupiah (about S$ 2-6). Even though modernized, Jakarta is also a poverty stricken city; many from outside Jakarta gambled all their money just to come there in order to look for jobs. Jakarta is already densely populated yet people still want to come there hoping to find better life. With these negative images of Jakarta, most people would probably be thinking that happiness cannot be found. Well, that is a wrong perception. Poor they may be, but they have strong determination to survive and even help you when you need directions or find places to repair your vehicles in the most remote areas. The less fortunate people there are not easily stressed; you can see it brimming in the children’s eyes telling that we are happy with what we have. Even with torn and tattered clothes, without proper foot protection and without proper meals or even modern technology, they are still able to smile, feeling good about themselves. Unlike big stars in Hollywood, with expensive cars, grand and comfortable homes, they still cannot find happiness in their lives.

Six long years, I have lost the people whom I once called friends. I recalled when tears rolled down my cheeks when I was on the plane bound for Singapore. I recalled those faces I recognized, those fine moments we have had, those joys and laughter, those time when we were together as friends. I was thinking that I will miss those precious things bitterly. But I managed to meet one of my good friends who I lost. Perhaps she might be reading this. My rendezvous with her make me revisit the good old days once again. The good old days that I am holding on to, the past that is sweet to remember. This is just the beginning of reliving my past, my childhood days I sorely missed. How time flies that we now are young adults, pursuing our dreams, taking separate paths but I am glad I got to know these friends, to meet them when I was younger, knowing who they all were. All I can do is smile fondly as I slowly remember our time together which was not bound to the chain of sorrow or regrets. I wanted to meet them all at the reunion on 15th January 2005 but it looks like fate will not allow me to. Even so, I wish I could meet them someday…only if fate will allow me to. These memories will be missed but not forgotten.

The Promise

2004-12-02T13:27:00.000+08:00

This is the final part, the last piece of puzzle that concludes the story, “The Promise”.

The hero and the heroine went to the orphanage where the hero was brought up. There, they found a place with wide grassland filled with flowers. The heroine dreamt that she could not find the hero even having travelled across mountains and towns. So, the hero promised her that he would be there. He would be there so that she would be able to find him.

They headed to the future where the final battle took place. When it all ended, they made their way back to the present. But the hero is missing. Only the hero and the heroine were still trapped in the future. The hero found himself in a dark room, emptiness surrounded him. He called out loud, “Rinoa, where are you? Can you hear me?” There was no reply. He knew that he cannot return alone. Then his surroundings transformed into a dry plain, no trees just cracked grounds. The hero walked aimlessly. After a long journey, his legs soon became weak, he was exhausted. He dropped to the ground bottom first. He reached out his right hand when he noticed a white feather. It landed right into his palm. He recalled the ballroom dance, the heroine’s smiles, the rescue at sorceress memorial and vertigo soon occurred. Everything started to spin, the heroine’s face that he remembered soon began to distort. Little by little, his memories began to wane. And when it has struck its limit, the hero blacked out with his tears left behind soon dried up.

The heroine then came into the picture, walking towards the fallen hero. She knelt beside him asking him to wake up. However, the hero did not react nor reply. Her fear that he was gone grew stronger; she lifted his head, shook him several times and kept asking him to open his eyes. Again, he did not respond. She finally cried as tears flowed down her cheeks. Just then, the surroundings began to transform again. This time, it had become into the place the hero promised he would be. The heroine smiled faintly when she looked at the fallen hero with her tears still rapidly flowing. They had returned to the present with the help from the power of love.

The heroine was back at the place where she met the hero for the first time. This time, she was star gazing and when she noticed the fallen star like she saw back then, she turned, lifted her index finger and smiled. The hero replied her smile. If the last time they were interrupted by fireworks, this time, it did not happen. They wrapped up the moonlit night with romance and sweet love. It was their first kiss.

It all started with a smile, a dance, followed by a hug and ended with a kiss. And in the end, the heroine did not return the hero’s ring because it has become part of her. This is just the beginning of a new chapter for the hero and the heroine…

The Rescue of Heroine

2004-12-02T13:26:00.000+08:00

The fourth part is rather short but it displays the one of the most heart-warming event, “The Rescue of Heroine”. Back on earth, as predicted, escorts have arrived to take away the heroine. The hero tried to stop her but the heroine decided to surrender peacefully. The hero could only watch her being taken away. He returned to the ship, sat down with his hand crossed and bent his head facing the floor. His friends arrived and scolded him for letting the heroine go just like that. With a few words of encouragement, the hero realized what he should do. He was not going to give away someone important to him in exchange of the world’s safety. It was selfish of him but sometimes love is blind.

They arrived at the sorceress memorial where the heroine was held captive. They stormed into the restricted faculty and the hero managed to enter the room where the heroine was kept while his friends helped to delay the guards’ advance. The hero quickly took out his sword and slashed the glass enclosure where the heroine was trapped in. The heroine was thrown out of her ‘cage’ and the hero caught her in his arms. This time there was no stopping them from hugging. Deep inside her heart, the heroine was glad that the hero came to her rescue. The hero hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. The hero may not have told his feelings for the heroine but his let his actions show how much she meant to him. Once again, the hero rescued the heroine but this time it was not for duty or obligation, it was for love. He wanted to tell her how much each minute without her presence caused him much misery. How her smiles comforted him, how her voice filled his days with hope.

Stranded in Space

2004-12-02T13:25:00.000+08:00

This is the third part after the sunset walk, “Stranded in Space”. The heroine was left stranded in space after a huge explosion at the lunar base where the hero met his long lost sister. Somehow, the hero managed to escape with his sister and his other friends. The hero decided to save the heroine even if it means risking his life. He left his escape pod in search of the heroine. Meanwhile, the heroine’s life support was running out. Perhaps, the impact caused by the explosion had triggered her consciousness. She felt lost, drifting endlessly in space. She began to feel hopeless and thought that she was going to die, drifting away without saying goodbye to her friends. And so, she passed out again, this time the oxygen supply had run out.

The hero found the heroine just in time and caught her in his arms. The heroine’s back- up life support was restored. She opened her eyes to see the two rings attached by her necklace drifting in front of her eyes. One of them belongs to her, the other is the hero’s which she has borrowed from. She then realized that the hero had come to her rescue. The two drifted together aimlessly until they found a stranded spaceship.

When they were inside she asked, “Can you give me a hug…a tight one?” He asked why and she replied, “I need to know if I’m alive.” They spent sometime talking to each other, and the hero said, “We still need to figure out how to go back.” They headed for the pilot’s seat when they received a signal from earth. The air station on earth managed to locate the ship’s location and piloted the ship to return safely. All the two can do now is wait.

The heroine felt happy that they were going to see everyone again but she knew everything would change upon her return. So she approached the hero and sat on the hero’s lap. She said that she wanted to remain this way, “To me, you give me the most comfort.” “I just want to stay this way for a while longer.” She mentioned. She hugged the hero, putting her head on this shoulder. Soon, after much persuasion the heroine returned to her seat next to the hero. Just then, a voice was heard. “Is sorceress Rinoa there?” The hero was stunned. He looked at the trembling heroine. He switched off the radio and knelt beside the heroine. It was the hero’s duty to terminate sorceress but he said, “I would never do that. If you really are a sorceress…I would be your knight to protect you.” The heroine broke down into tears and cried on his shoulder. All the hero can do is to spend the moment with the saddened heroine. The heroine knew that she would be put into deep sleep when she returned and she would never see the hero again.

This was the hero’s decision to protect the sorceress, disobeying his duty to save someone important to him. He knew that many would hate a sorceress but he would be there to stand by her.

The Ballroom Dance

2004-11-30T13:54:00.000+08:00

Having said the second part, I guess completing the pieces of the puzzle will be the appropriate thing to do. So, this will be the missing piece part 1, "The ballroom dance".

The hero was leaning against one of the pillars in the ballroom with a glass of wine in his hand, not too bothered with what is going in the ballroom. As always maintaining his cool, he took several sips to drown his boredom. Just then, he noticed a falling star in the dark skies. The heroine came into the picture, wearing a splendid dress. She smiled fondly towards the hero but the hero gave away a confused look. She approached him and asked him, "You are the most good-looking guys here. Care to have a dance with me?" The hero simply replied that he could not dance. She figured that he would not dance with someone he does not like so she tried to use her 'magic' to make the hero to like her. "You are going to like me...Did it work?" She enticed. The hero could not reply and suddenly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the centre of the ballroom.

The hero, feeling awkward, allowed her to take control of the situation. The music started to play and the waltz for the moon soon began. The hero meant what he said, he could not dance. The pair kept banging themselves with neighbouring dancing couples. There was once the hero accidentally lost his balance and threw himself at the heroine. Feeling embarrassed, he began to walk away but the heroine pulled his hand again. She persisted and the hero soon able to blend in with the crowd. Their dance became more fluent. It ended with the hero and heroine looking deep into each other's eyes. But the fireworks suddenly interrupted the romance. The heroine spotted the man she was looking for at the party and she walked away in hurry leaving the hero in the centre of the dance-floor. The hero could just watch her disappear from his view. And so, this is the seeds of love that has just begun to sprout even though the hero has forgotten to ask the heroine's name.

I was listening to the song, "How Deep Is Your Love" and somehow I felt like writing all of these down. Well, I guess the song blend in perfectly with the story.

Fisherman Horizon...

2004-11-28T01:26:00.000+08:00

Final Fantasy plays a major role in creating the peace of mind that I need at times just by listening to some of the songs for instance “Eyes on Me” and “Melodies of Life”. I feel at ease just by listening to the music while closing my eyes with the lights in my room switched off. Only darkness surrounds me and the songs accompany me through it all. This is one of the ways that I can put my mind at rest without getting bored by listening to the music playing over and over again. Oh yes, there is another song that works just as effective, Kenny G’s saxophone version of Titanic.

Final Fantasy 8 is virtually created but the events occurred in the game are simply sensational. There are love at first sight, ballroom dance, dark secrets, unrequited love, friendship, life of an orphan, rivalry, pursuing dreams, protecting someone important, adventure and promise. These are just some of the highlights and wonders of Final Fantasy mixed together to form a storyline. These events do happen in our daily lives but when you combine them together it really becomes a masterpiece. What’s important is the message that the events are trying to portray. This way, we can appreciate the game and its makers.

My favourite events are the ballroom dance, sunset walk along Fisherman Horizon, stranded in space, the rescue of heroine and the promise the hero and heroine made. I wish I can write all about them in detail but maybe the readers will get tired of it. So I’ll just explain the sunset walk that gives me the inspiration to name this online diary. Well, the hero tried to look for ways to cure the heroine’s unconscious state. He could only find the cure on another foreign frontier, so he took off with the sleeping heroine on his back leaving his friends behind during one evening. He has to cross the long, damaged railway that connects Fisherman Horizon with the frontier. He took a rest along the way and talk about himself to the unconscious heroine. He mentioned why he prefers to be alone and branded cold guy and it is the only time he talked this way. He knew she couldn’t reply or hear anything he said but I guess this is the only time he is so sincere towards the heroine. It was the turning point of the events that happened later. He continued his walk to unknown lands with the sunset accompanying the both of them till he met his other friends who had actually arrived there much earlier knowing that he would leave them behind.

Yeah, so I guess that is all. It is up to you to comprehend this event and link it with my purpose to name this online diary Fisherman Horizon.

Psl End of Year Camp...

2004-11-25T18:41:00.000+08:00

The Psl end of year camp was truly a blast. I am very happy with the sec ones, very energetic and friendly too. I found them overflowing with curiosity and they were willing to participate in all the games. Although some need more initiative and discipline, overall I thought we have chosen the right people to continue our Psl traditions. Some came with enthusiasm; others just make the camp more exciting. I am glad to know these people and be part of them.

The sec two seniors too had just made their first step to organize the first day of the 3-day camp. Though the first half of the day was rather messy and disorganized, they made improvements in the second half. Talking about the sec two seniors made me want to write about them. After all, next year, they will be the ones playing major roles in Psl.

We have Adam, Izzati, Florence, Erni, Tien Beng, Eugene and Syakirah.

Adam is a cool fellow with great enthusiasm, willing to work hard for Psl and have an endless sense of humour. He is able to lead a group of people to achieve greater heights. He is a possible candidate for chairmanship having great influence and good relationship with other Psl. He needs to be more firm in order to make people listen to his instructions. He has displayed an outstanding performance being station-in-charge and I believe he is going to propel Psl forward in the coming year.

Izzati was spotted by our previous chairman, Juren. He mentioned that she is the ‘one’ and has the potential to perform. She knows when to draw the line between having fun and being serious. She is able to lead a group and get them up and running with enthusiasm. It is no wonder she has one of the most number of votes when the Psl got the chance to pick who will be the seniors. She just needs to interact more with other Psl who may not be her good friends. This way, she might be able to get support from them when she needs them most especially for chairmanship.

Florence aka the girl Marcus likes a lot. It is not that we deliberately put her in the senior committee to be closer to him but she has one of the most numbers of votes. Florence can be quiet at times but she listens well. A good leader needs to be a good listener too, right? In the beginning, I felt that she struggles when it comes to lead a group, after all her partner was absent so she has to handle them all by herself. But, I guess she has benefited much experience from it. She has the potential to live up to expectations if she just put in a little more effort.

Erni aka the girl Firdaus is steadying with currently. She has the same reason why we put her in the senior committee like Florence. So far, I have noticed she has put in extra effort to make this camp a success. I may be wrong as it is only from my point of view. Very calm and caring outside and she can relate well with people around her. She is the planning type and likely she has to endure the pain when things go wrong. Whatever may come, I think she will be fine after the storm. To me, I think she has made a lot of improvements from the time I got to know her. I think that she has a high level of commitment. Having these qualities, she may end up being the next assistant chairman.

Tien Beng is considered the senior in doubt. At first, he seems to possess the makings of a good senior but somehow that vision starts to dissipate. He is very polite to the older seniors but lacks bravery to speak his mind. He is usually calm and preserved but still manages to facilitate the games. I do not know much about his planning ability but there must be other reasons why he got into the senior committee that I have not looked into. So far, I’m quite satisfied with his performance and behaviour which separates him from the rest.

Eugene possesses energy, being loud and clear when giving instructions. I noticed that he can be creative and motivate people who are not participating in the games. He could have become the next chairman if he was not going on the integrated programme. He will be missed but not forgotten.

Syakirah is one of the aces in the sec two seniors. During our visit to some primary school, I have noticed the way she explains and conducts the games. She is very patient with children and gives them extra attention. She treats the children as if they are her own siblings. That was missing in other Psl who bring themselves down as friends and in the end got bullied instead. She needs support from the others in order to bring her further up the ladder of chairmanship which I think she lacks.

With Eugene leaving us, I think it is time we have to look for some other candidate to replace him. I am thinking of getting those who have improved much and deserve a place in the senior committee. Those with responsibility and ability to adapt quickly in the senior committee. My prediction will be either Jovita, Syamsidar or Safirah. Maybe we should add a guy instead so that there will be a balance. Decisions will be made next year but we still need to discuss it with the sec twos’ seniors.

Please note that all these information are solely from my point of view and are not meant to offend but to build the character of the seniors, patching up the holes of complacency and other weaknesses so that you can pass this on to the next batch of seniors.

Platinum Shadow...

2004-09-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a month... Everything still looks the same. Except for one or two things...

I remembered vividly how I started out just like every typical competitors wishing to gain something from this competition. I signed up the participation form and finally got in. By the time the schedule was announced, I was prepared. I thought to myself," I do have the ability... I'm not gone lose till the finals." Maybe that kept me going even on the brink of losing during the finals... I was overwhelmed when the shuttle darted past me many times. I was not fast enough. Despite scoring 13 points, my opponent managed to win the first set. The second set, I took several precautions after watching his play earlier. I did play better, keeping over- servicing my opponent. I squeezed my way to win the set with 18 to 15. At the third set, I was even playing more intensely, making as little mistake as possible and tiring my opponent. I realized that I just had to be more relaxed when swinging my arms while smashing. True enough I kept scoring and made a huge leap from zero to 10. I ended the game with a smash and by then I knew it was all over. I had overcomed my greatest opponent, myself and the fear of losing. The final score 15 to 6. Loud cheer filled the room. It was my first taste of a real victory. Everyone congratulated me, before I knew it I felt rather satisfied with the victory. Fatigued and thirsty, I helped myself by splashing water on my face. Finally, I have achieved my goal. This victory meant so much to me... It is like my pride was at stake. Many rooted for me, my classmates, friends and those who believed in me, my family. Many hopes I had destroyed for those who supported my opponent. Even so I have created another hope that someday someone will defeat me and I will be awaiting for the challenge to come... I have proved my worth to the school, the people who rooted for me all the way and myself. Pride was all that left on my mind...

PSLs...

2004-07-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

PSLs... Well, I'm one of them. Peer Support Leaders is my other world besides school. Being one of them has brought me smiles and happy memories for they are a special bunch of people I'm working with. PSLs are fun loving, friendly and sociable people who create an atmosphere of excitement. I'm glad to say that I'm proud of my fellow PSL. Because of them, I learnt about my other self that can bring joy to others and being someone they can rely on. So, I will just give them a token of appreciation by saying their unique personalities...

The Chairman, Shuyu, she's our leader, our motivator and our key to success. She make sure that everyone has a role to play, never forgetting someone. She's responsible and cheerful who we can look up to and where we get our motivation and inspiration from. Without her, we couldn't have achieved praises from the schools we visited and that visited us. This one girl make a great difference if she is not around. Knowing her will make you feel welcomed and at ease. She will always be there to back us up and get things up and running. I'm more than honoured to work with her to achieve glory that PSLs deserve.

Vice-chairman, Caroline. She's the best at coming up with ideas and assisting our leader. She puts the team before herself and I'm proud of her. There was once she made other PSLs sing A Christmas Carol at Orchard MRT as one of the dares. I supported the idea and it turned out really superb. Her presence make us united in the sense that we can work together as a group. She is one of our greatest treasures that we will not let go of. With her around, I can see that the group really respected her as much as she respected us. That makes her extraordinary in my eyes.

2nd Vice-chairman, Firdaus. He's the type of guy to keep things real cool and calm. His face is carved with confidence and firm determination. He always get things done whatever the difficulties he might face. He is one of those guys who present himself as a real friend who you can depend on. Once he opens his mouth, we know that it is going to be great speeches. He is just wonderful as one might say, a leader with great responsibility.

Eric. He is more than life, very fun loving and very crazy at times too. Nevertheless, he is very good at motivating people, cheering them up with his jokes and funny lines. A funny guy with a different attitude when he gets serious. He is very passionate about guitar and his addiction for girls might just never end. But that is special, we never see his long face whatever he may face. This guy is the kind who really live his live to the fullest. I learnt many things from him and he is the kind who adds scipe in this world.

Cheryl. Another useful addition for our convoy. She is like the secretary for the group. She usually makes some sarcastic remarks but then again she talks with a lot of sense that I might just believe her. She is really passionate and committed to PSL from what I noticed. She never failed to miss a meeting. Well, she is really well-spoken and spontaneous making me admire something about her. Her confidence to speak her mind makes me realize that I should be like her in order to lead a group more effectively.

Michelle. If you think she is just another girl, you are wrong. She is like a good speaker and motivator. She is willing to help and participate in the school events. She is really a great person that you can ever imagined. Her high work rate, level of commitment and brilliant ideas makes her one of the best PSL personality. Not only that, she can relate to kids easily. There was once she helped a girl to reconcile with her friend. In fact, she never gives up after going through hard times getting them to say sorry to each other. This particular girl plays a critical role, ensuring that the events PSLs are having run smoothly.

Marcus. He makes silly jokes and talks a lot. There is always something on his mind that keeps him going non stop, just talking and blah blah. Even so, he knows when to cut the crap and get back to business. Working with him is like working with a good partner. We helped each other even without asking for it. Well, great minds think alike. This guy proves to be someone who speaks his mind. No wonder, he and Cheryl always argue about things but in the end, they will always be good friends when it comes to working seriously.

Wen Bin. This guy is very outgoing, humourous and daring just like Eric. He can take on anyone despite their race, religion or gender. A real cool guy with high level of energy, never stops singing, enjoying life more than anything. When it comes to work, he will be ready to contribute his crazy yet useful ideas. With his level of energy, everyone treat him like they know him for ages. He never looks gloomy no matter what the weather he is enduring. His number one motto, FUN, FUN and MORE FUN... Especially to girls.

Ansley. I have to say that she is the most adorable and cutest among all the girls in our group. Her easy going personality makes us like her. Having her in our team is our greatest joy. Because without her, there will be no sunshine smiling brightly upon us. Her patience with kids is immeasurable. In fact, she mey even end up behaving like them. Nevertheless, she adds depth to our convoy. Making friends with her is making one step forward to realizing her easy going lifestyle and her cute personality.

Well, the last one is of course me. These are my fellow PSLs in the EXCO committee. I think without them around my life will be dull without colour. They are the rainbow in my sky, the family that works together, the people whom I shared the best of my years with. The memories of being one of this committee will never be forgotten, in the corner of my heart, Peer Support Leaders of Temasek Secondary will always live...

My Thoughts On Music...

2004-07-12T19:39:00.000+08:00

Music... a rather popular subject among my peers in schools. They can talk about music from singers to pop idols. In my case, I detest studying music. Strangely I like listening to music. Most people come under this category where all they can do is listen to the pieces that they like.

A smooth music from sentimental to instrumental is my favourite. Their kind of music drifts mind away far into thin air. I can just imagine that I'm flying freely as I close my eyes while listening to these kind of music. I called them masterpieces. I'm so hooked to them that I don't mind listening to them over and over. It is when you let music flow slowly right into your deepest thoughts that you can find comfort. To me, besides the person that I love most, music gives me comfort; simple yet priceless.

Music does last as long as one is able to produce an original masterpiece. However, generation has set its eyes on other types of music. Rap, hip-hop and rock seem to poison the mind of young ones. I can't see a reason to why such displeasing music become a trend among teens nowadays. Soothing music can brighten up your gloomy days, accompany you when the worlds is against you and calm you inner self. Music should not evolve dramatically from soft ones to hard and loud ones. It is just not right...

People All Around Me...

2004-07-09T23:47:00.000+08:00

As we all know, no one is 100% a loner nor not having people who you call friends. That goes the same for me. I'm quite a loner by nature, prefers things going my way and being introverted. It is when you are all alone, you feel a strange comfort inside... A feeling of not being disturbed, just you and mother nature. Perhaps watching sunsets from afar...

But sometimes, the loner feels loneliness rather overwhelming for him to handle. That is when someone should appear adding colours to the loner's world. Once found can never be lost because loner wants to preserve whatever he thinks he needs.

People all around me are adding colours to my life. Their smiles, joys and sorrows prove to be invaluable in one's life although most of the time we care less looking deeper on what we actually gain by knowing these people. To me, people who I call friends are special in their own ways. Some encourage, some share the similar opinions while others just sticks to you. It is when we are close with our friends, we discover a part of us in them... And their part on us. In the end, both parties will walk along the same path, achieving a common goal and sometimes to an extent of choosing life and death together.

People around us make us realize that world is created with different colours of human characters and personalities. We may not like certain people but still their personalities make them stand out from the rest. With this, I'd like to acknowledge people who make a difference in my life. I want to thank you for making a loner, a better man who can be accepted and respected by all...

My Humble Beginning...

2004-07-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

I have just reached my first step to keep with the times like they always say...
Well, I hope I'll be able to spend some time updating this online diary and express what I have in mind and put them down into words rather than saying them to people around me.

Perhaps, through writing I'll be able to indulge myself into unexpected fantasies that I can come up with.

A brief explanation on the title I have chosen... Fated Circle is the journey of my young life.Like a wheel, it has its ups and downs, so does a circle. I believe that we are fated to accomplish or lose something in life and only we can change the path of our destiny. And thus, Fated Circle reflects the life of a youth in search of a way to change his destiny through the ups and downs of life itself.

With this, I'd like to share with you, My Humble Beginning...